Irishman Questions Round-Trip Fare Joke
An Irishman visits a ticket office asks for Chicago fare. Clerk offers a round-trip for fifteen dollars, explaining you can go and return. The man replies why return if he is already in Chicago.
This is just the beginning! Our collection holds over 300 years of history, including rare newspapers, obituaries, marriage records, birth records, and so much more—most of which you won’t find anywhere else!
This newspaper page contains 33 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Osceola Record
Location
Osceola, Nebraska, United States of America
Date
Jul 20, 1939
Page
3
An Irishman visits a ticket office asks for Chicago fare. Clerk offers a round-trip for fifteen dollars, explaining you can go and return. The man replies why return if he is already in Chicago.
A host guides a guest to a bedroom claimed to be haunted. The guest fears a wraith spectre until laughter reveals the joke about a rate collector, easing nerves and prompting relief.
A witty exchange escalates into a sharp rebuke as a "Young lady" vows to never return, while a taunting reply jokes about entering through windows, capturing a humorous moment of local social banter.
A timid man fears dropping objects from an airplane onto the public while the candid inventor argues the design may fail entirely and fall on the operator. The exchange frames a risky airship project with potential hazards and accountability questions.
Dialogue about a farmer debating correct phrasing for a hen’s behavior. One farmer asks if the line should be is sitting or is setting while the other quips about whether the hen is laying or lying when she cackles.
In running for office Hi Ho the sage of Chinatown says you cannot please everyone. The best approach is to look benignly pleasant and convey the impression that everybody pleases you.
A humorous exchange on a dude ranch contrasts saddle types as a cowboy weighs options with or without a horn while noting light prairie traffic. The playful dialogue captures frontier charm and quiet rural mood.
The magistrate notes a spat between a man and his wife as the accused says he had words but denies getting a chance to respond. The exchange hints at tension rather than explicit confrontation, leaving the legal question about intent unsettled.
A man was arrested for reckless driving after his car was destroyed in a severe crash. Witnesses recalled the vehicle smashing into splinters as authorities investigated the incident.
A humorous dialogue features That Girl and He arguing over a cold cream. She explains she wants to rid herself of the chap, while He mocks his failed search. The exchange showcases light domestic banter with a playful tease.
A courtroom exchange features a prisoner defending against suspicion by arguing that untrusting people cannot be swindled. The judge confronts the remark as the exchange underscores issues of trust and deception.
Mose inherits a few hundred dollars and pays a longstanding grocery bill in full before buying a large cash purchase at Jones store. The grocer questions the cash transaction, and Mose says he didn’t know cash sales were possible.
A fragment speaks of a girl who humiliated the speaker and caused lasting emotional trouble. The speaker notes a “permanent job” of heartbreak stemming from the relationship.
In a light chatty item, Smith explains they furnished one of eight rooms using collected soap coupons revealing the house is full of soap in the other seven rooms. The exchange with Jones adds humor about the unusual abundance of soap.
Bjones questions neighbor dislike and Skjold argues for all neighbors noting people observe home life but ignore pets damaging lawns.
Robinson confides he and his wife argued, she vowed no speaking for a month, and today marks the end of that period. Brown comments on the emotional toll and suggests perspective on the temporary separation.
An admiring friend urges a safe win while Senator Sorgham dismisses public demand for quiet certainty. He jokes about winning in an airplane or a parachute jump, seeking a dramatic triumph.
A remark questions why some photoplays are labeled coarse and unrefined stating the answer lies in how they are screened. The exchange hints at taste and censorship concerns within the era's entertainment circles.
In a playful exchange Safe Keeping Alice voices anxiety about hair loss, and Lorraine comically suggests using a cigar box for storage. The quip highlights lighthearted dialogue on personal concerns.
A terse exchange is described with bold dialogue about stepping in to stop a fight. The lines imply a tense confrontation and a vow to intervene, illustrating a frontier mindset and a sense of imminent action.
A brief exchange shows a parent asking Willie to spend a day without scolding or punishment. Willie responds that he consents to the plan and agrees to a calmer day together. The dialogue frames a household aim for better communication and restraint.
Vera notes her father dislikes the suitor while Victor reveals stronger family opposition to the match. The exchange underscores tension between the couple and the authority of Vera's relatives.
An office exchange notes Mr. Blodgett is busy and cannot take a call despite a caller asking if he is in conference.
A customer asks for the tray of engagement rings in a jewelry shop. The exchange centers on selecting the most suitable ring and understanding available styles. The moment captures a shopper seeking options and a clerk guiding choices.
Toni confirms she sent back Jack’s letters but retained the jewelry.
Cornell researchers from the plant breeding and vegetable crops departments have developed four cross-bred celery strains by crossing Golden self-branching with Giant Pascal. The lines promise high quality with improved resistance to yellow fungus, key for New York muck land celery production, improving stalk length thickness and firmness.
Poultry breeders must protect breeding males from fights during the off season. Experts from Rutgers recommend keeping males with females or in large cages with hiding spaces to reduce injuries. A valuable male may be kept in a roomy individual cage to preserve breeding worth for the next season.
G E Brandon of Cornell University explains that cyclical peaks in building textiles and automobiles drive general business activity which in turn affects farm product demand. He notes price levels are not caused by cycles but cycles explain short term price fluctuations and timing of major shifts.
A concise guideline on making a garden near the house to maximize returns in food and enjoyment. Emphasizes quick access for the family, easier harvests, and protection from theft with proximity and a permanent fence. Encourages small daily moments spent gardening.
Dr James W Barton reports scientists continue investigation into cancer origins with limited progress. Researchers note multiple potential factors but lack decisive evidence linking a single cause.
The health column reviews insulin and liver extracts for diabetes and pernicious anemia, acknowledges unknown cancer cures, and highlights early biopsy and surgical-radiation therapy as key for lip tongue and cheek cancers with high cure rates. It stresses early diagnosis and multidisciplinary hospital teamwork.
A brief health note emphasizes the benefits of simple post operative and daily exercise. Walking and light movements increase heart workload and improve circulation, with a study by Shaw and Richards showing lower embolus risk when simple exercises are performed after surgery.
The Sewing Circle Pattern Dept offers No 1763 for lady sizes 34 to 48 with a princess line shirted vestee and neck roll collar in silk crepe georgette or chiffon, and No 1765 for tots sizes 1 to 5 with playsuit pinafore and bon net. Fabrics suggested include gingham linen percale and seersucker. yardage listed for 39 inch and 35 inch materials. Send orders to Room 1324 Chicago Ill. patterns priced 15 cents.
We want people to find what they are looking for at NewspaperArchive. We are confident that we have the newspapers that will increase the value of your family history or other historical research. With our 7-day free trial, you can view the documents you find for free.
People find the most success using advanced search. Try plugging in keywords, names, dates, and locations, and get matched with results from the entire collection of newspapers at NewspaperArchive!
You can also successfully find newspapers by these browse options. Explore our archives on your own!
Browse by location and discover newspapers from all across the world.
Browse by date and find publications for a specific day or era.
Browse old newspaper publications to find specific newspapers.