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Newspaper
Marshfield Times
Location
Marshfield, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Apr 24, 1912
Page
9
A patchwork of misquoted lines and snippets references public life and modern speed. Musings on technology like long distance phone calls, electricians and current topics mix with jokes about suffragettes in London. The tone mimics a busy, windswept newspaper chatter page.
A fragmentary column recalls a child's joke about prayer and divine knowledge, with a Saint Louis Republic tone. It shifts to a London anecdote about the Marquis of Queensberry commenting on Foulke and Brandt's life sentence, followed by a witty car tiptoeing misread as a Commons member.
A letter tale from York hotel man claims coffee caused nervousness sleep loss and stomach upset and that switching to Postum cured these symptoms. A friend reports similar relief after quitting coffee and using Postum, noting weight gain and heart palpitations disappeared.
A week of Civil War reports from April 22 to 28 1862 covers Confederate and Union actions across Virginia Maryland and North Carolina. Highlights include Confederate losses at Lees Mills Harrisonburg and Pea Fudge reconnaissance, Union advances toward Yorktown and New Orleans, the surrender of Forts Jackson and St Phillips, and political reactions in Baltimore and Massachusetts. The narrative also notes Lincoln aboard a foreign warship and raids along the Mississippi and western theaters.
A chaotic scene unfolds as Bud Hightower crafts a moonshine filled old shoe for a nearby wedding in the hills. Sim Beesley jokes about smashing the groom, while others discuss mischief and a plan to target Snipe Tolliver. In New York, Pinchot and a reporter swap political tales as a man recounts a comic misfortune from a magazine.
A Cambridge kindergarten teacher, dressed in a new skirt, received attention from a student who exclaimed, That's a classy skirt you've got on. The scene occurred as she conducted her routine duties, with the boy continuing to gaze as she approached to address him.
At a Waldorf Astoria Lenten musicale a young matron recounted a bon mot about Marie Tempest. The speaker joked that Tempest’s nose is notably pug and connected the quip to gossip and repetition, remarking on how one nose could carry tales while two ears would still be needed to hear them.
An advertisement for Allen's Foot Base powder to shake into shoes for tired tender and aching feet. It claims to make feet feel a delight and easier to walk. Sold everywhere with free samples available by mailing to Alfred Olmsted, Le Roy, New York.
The passage hints at humor and impressionism with Frost and Daw ber's wife described as snow themed. It juxtaposes casual flirting about an earl and a bride who promises obedience yet keeps fingers crossed, reflecting playful, oblique verse style.
Readable fragments show quips about domestic tasks and social mores from a bygone era. The text references sewing, a typewriter, household products, and humorous ironies about gender roles, marriage, and politeness.
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