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High Point Enterprise Newspaper Archives Mar 31 1974, Page 3

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High Point Enterprise (Newspaper) - March 31, 1974, High Point, North Carolina Honesty is the Best policy no matter what the problem a my son has a real problem and i would like for you to come talk to him a a father said to me recently. A we could probably talk better in my office a i replied. A a of no a he exclaimed a the does no to know in a calling you. Head be very angry if he found out i had talked to you a he said. Then he pulled the punch line a a could t you just show up and say you were in the neighbourhood and wanted to come by to see him a a thanks but no thanks a i said. I Learned the hard Way that it is Seldom helpful and usually destructive for a counsellor particularly a minister to slip up on the Blind Side of a kid and say a i just happened to be in the there Are ways to ask for help but this is not one of them. Sadly though it is the most common ploy used by the parents we Deal with. It May indicate something of the nature of the problem. Let me suggest some ways of getting a person who needs help to someone that can help him. I. Be honest and forthright with him. When you ask someone to give your kid an Opportunity to open up and get honest with him the worst Way to go about it is to be dishonest in the approach. In be never been very Good at a by Tom Watson lying. When i have to Start out a relationship with a kid on a false pretence it is ridiculous to expect him to be honest with me. In fact i just refuse to do it. 2. Approach it As a family problem. Done to blame it All on the kid. If there is a breakdown in communication it is a family problem. It is a lot less threatening to say a we Are having problems communicating. In a going to get some help and would like for you to go with me a than to say a i think you have a problem and i want you to go talk to now. In a not suggesting this As a a a tricks to get someone into counselling. No one can Deal very effectively with your child a problems As you perceive them to be. You have to Start with the problems you can work with. I remember one father who kept exclaiming a i done to understand you at All i asked you to talk to my son and in a the Only one you be Ever talked to a but the problem has straightened with a Little help the father was in a better position to help the boy than i was. A ooh he come with us a parents often counter when i ask them to set up a family counselling session. Many of them have been shocked at How open a kid is to the suggestion when it is presented in the proper Way. 3. Done to expect someone else to do your Job. A my son needs some straight talk a a father said to me recently. A give it to him a i replied. A but he won t listen to me a he countered. A a he a 20 years old living in your House eating your food driving your car a and he wont listen to you a i asked. Later in a family conference the father Laid Down the conditions under which the boy could continue to live with the family. He was t vindictive just firm. The boy responded very positively. Sure he tested the father to see if he meant it but when he found out he did he settled Down and became a productive member of the family. Of course it does no to always work out that Way but if you cannot motivate him to contribute to the family it is doubtful that anyone else can. 4. Done to think the disease is cured when the immediate symptom disappears. Many parents have called me to report that their children have run away. When the kid came Home they would Call Back and say a she came Home last night everything s Okay done to count on it. When a problem has become serious enough that a kid has run away from Home it is much deeper than that immediate symptom. I would recommend extended family counselling until the Root causes of the problem Are discovered and dealt with. 5. Seek for a a a contract from everyone involved. A a contract is a technical term for an agreement from each person concerned with dealing with a problem. Often the Only person who will a a give anything is the one who is in this event there is Little value in pursuing the counselling with the disinterested persons. Family counselling cannot be used effectively to manipulate certain members of the family but it can provide a forum in which a Sears family can work out its problems together. 6. Turn the situation Over to god. Done to simply ask him to give you what you want. Turn the whole mess Over to him. In the Short run you might like the Way he works but later you will see that he can Deal with the whole situation a lot better than you can. I have not tried to give you a six easy Steps to solving All your problems. A what i have tried to suggest Are some principles to guide you in approaching help in the proper attitude. At least half of the solution of any family problem is in approaching it in the right Way. If you would like More specific help write to us at youth unlimited inc., Post office Box 485, High Point n c. 27261. On the scene zoning requests Greensboro requests from two businesses for variances from the county a zoning codes will come before the Guilford county Board of adjustment at a hearing set for 7 30 . Monday at the new courthouse Here. The Community Bank of Carolina is asking for a variance from front Yard regulations in order to permit erection of a Pylon sign on property located on College Road in Friendship township West of Greensboro. Also Friendship Center is seeking a variance to parking regulations in order to permit a Structure to be located closer to the Street than allowed under usual rules. This property is also located in Friendship township West of Greensboro. Triad Civitano the triad civitan club of Allen Jay Archdale and Trinity will meet on monday evening at the colonial motor inn on 1-85. This will be the first regular dinner meeting since the organization obtained their civitan charter. The meeting will Start at 7 of clock. Large selection of used to s color starting at Sagoo Black and White starting at Philco factory service Philco j color in �?i1 @ Ralph s to amp appliance 506 e. Washington 882-3422 sans shop monday night a til 9 . An event As great As its name 17-in. Diagonal a pleasure picture t072 100% solid state portable color to one Button color controls color tint brightness contrast and automatic frequency control with the touch of a single Button. Super Chromic Black matrix picture tube gives our Best sharpest color. Solid state circuitry delivers instant sound and picture. Come in today to see color tas it should be seen. Hurry Sale priced 2 Days Only. Regular 399.95 31088 solid state portable Black and w bite to fully Rel Lector cd 12-in. Diagonal measure picture regular 99.95 solid state tube Type Chassis helps give set Long life. Fold Down handle gives smart Cabinet an uncluttered look. Keyed automatic gain control helps keep picture steady. Continuous i if tuning dial. 5008 list spars Fasy payment plan dual position Handbrake lepers. It enter pull brakes t rout and rear. 10�?peed derailleur with he to Mhz gear ratio Range. Free spirit 1 to Speed lightweight racer take h spin around the blink or go for in Ull Tiluy adventure hither Way the Riding will be Breezy the peddling a Stoup. That s Berau be the wide gear Range lakes any ride in stride. Dual position Brake lever Are eau to reach whether you re ruling or touring. Censer pull Brake grab evenly for smooth sure stops. Shor at Sears Ani save satisfaction guaranteed or your Money Hack Sears Low Price store hours 101 s. W Renn St. I Mon. Thurs. Fri. Ifs flt a sat. High Point pc. 9 30 pm. To 9 . 9 30 . To a . Is uis Lull in k Wix o

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