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This newspaper page contains 18 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Washburn Times
Location
Washburn, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Apr 09, 1908
Page
6
A humorous exchange in a playful tone about new marriage naming customs. A young man asks how to address his future mother in law, debating terms before choosing grandmamma after the first year.
A paired selection contrasts Pope's ideal of a tranquil rural life with a humorous tale from Ladies’ Home Journal about Pat the drunk husband. It offers a meditation on contentment and a comic warning about temper and consequence in domestic life.
An Irishman who rescued a man from drowning accepted a sixpence and then exclaimed he was overpaid for the job. He looked from the coin to the rescuer and remarked sharply that the payment was excessive.
Tommy, a lonely boy, asks God to send him an Ethel Maud and May then prays mother cannot afford them and asks for one girl now and the rest later. The tale from Lippincott's presents a child's humorous take on family planning.
A detective is asked to solve an anonymous letter mystery noting eleven misspelled words on a single page. The detective suggests the culprit used a typewriter or sign painter, and asks if a business directory is available to identify possible names.
A Massachusetts teacher punishes a boy for foul language by ordering him to watch a rat emerge from a floor knothole with tongs. After hours of waiting, he theatrically lifts a live rat and shouts that they caught it, causing the teacher to faint.
The fragment critiques brokers who profit from others’ gains and the paradox of merit amid hostility. It notes two kinds of silent men, one with nothing to say and one who asks for favors, hinting at unspoken ties and unseen motives in financial and social bonds.
A collection of satirical advice about discretion and public opinion. An amused New York City crowd jokes about octogenarians and a mathematician humorously fears doctors kidnapping him for his brain while he plans to carry on without brains.
An 1864 anecdote recalls a Massachusetts reformer urging an end to the war who pressed President Lincoln with advice. Lincoln produced a bottle from a closet and urged the man to rub it on his bald head, promising hair may grow, then sent him away with the remedy to try and report later.
An English country squire treats tenants to supper and dancing. Afterward a farmer's wife laments an insult from a young guest who quips that her programme is full, while she reveals she only had the wing of a chicken.
The excerpt recalls amusing old humor about a parrot imitating a voice in a home and a bishop and curate on a London train. It contrasts a worldly bishop with a meek curate who replies with quiet wit about tobacco and illness.
Langurous spring and early summer moods can be revived by Dr. Shoop's Restorative. The ad claims it boosts tired nerves, improves circulation, and counteracts indoor, sedentary life. It urges a few weeks of use and a short test to confirm results, noting it is sold by all dealers.
It is foolish to rely on cosmetics for complexion. The liver must be healthy to purify and enrich the blood. Green's August Flower acts on the liver, cleanses the blood, purifies the complexion, and cures constipation biliousness nervousness and insomnia. A bottle has cured dyspepsia. trial 25 cents regular 75 cents at Frost Spies.
A speaker addressed a plain audience near Whitechapel on Rhymes and Rhyming to show how poetry can warm the poor man's hearth. He noted rhyming is easy for sea but difficult for burglary, prompting a heckler who argued a verdict depends on the judge as a passerby claimed a seven year sentence.
The term caddies or cadies once meant messengers or unattached male servants in Scottish towns. They served anyone needing odds jobs and accompanied players starting golf rounds, and today they are employed solely by the golfer.
A brief dialogue notes Smiley stating he has no luck, with a companion remarking it is unusual for him to complain. Smiley clarifies he would rather have no luck than always have it bad.
An illustrated 40 page trap book shows 46 wild animals in natural colors with a fur calendar and a gun and trap catalog. Prices of hides and furs are listed. Sold postpaid for 10c stamps or free with shipments to or purchases from N W Hide and Fur Co Minneapolis. Also advertises job printing services from The Times in first class shape.
A southern Kansas politician with a reputation for dodging debts faced a lawsuit. He hired Archie Williams, later Union Pacific general attorney, to defend him. Williams won the case and, when asked for his fee, stated two hundred dollars, insisting he could not afford more.
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