The Offending Hand
Jeffy hides a dark secret in his pocket and fears a fatal act toward his sister Elizabeth. A vision of punishment haunts him as morning light arrives and he wrestles with guilt, begging forgiveness before facing Elizabeth. The dream dissolves as the day begins and he contemplates confession.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jetty
Jeffy
Willabeth
Voles
Mother
Elizabeth
No Charge Lesson From Washed Shirt Incident
A bachelor recounts washing mishap at a laundry where a torn shirt was returned without any charge. He found severe damage including a torn sleeve and punched cuff, concluded the laundry caused the damage and walked away with no compensation, gaining a hard lesson in nerve and restraint.
Which Way The Major Misreads the Saddled Horse
A major in pursuit of outlaws reaches a village too late and orders the horses fed. His Irish hostler, Pat, unaware of equestrian details, saddles a horse facing rearward. Upon discovery the major asks why. Pat replies in Irish inflection that he did not know which way the major was going, prompting a comic explosion of fatigue and Pat’s near punishment.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Ireland
Pat
Monkey pianist in South Africa outplays Mulhatton on piano
Henry E. Warner recalls meeting journalist Joseph Mulhatton in 1884 and traveling to South Africa to study Boers and wildlife. They kept a monkey as a helper who, when Mulhatton prepared to play Give My Regards to Broadway, pushed him aside and played the tune with hands feet and nose, though unable to stretch an octave.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Henry E. Warner
Joseph Mulhatton
South Africa
N,. Y. Sun
Misfortune and misinterpretation at a seaside meeting
Two fishermen named Smith near each other share bad luck as one mourns a wife and the other loses his boat. A visitor calls on the widower and is surprised by his blunt remarks about his wife, exposing humor and sharp gender darts before she departs.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Smith
Mr. Smits
London
Mystery Locusts Make Missouri Hogs Fat
In southeast Missouri hogs fatten on food found in the woods, traced to a crop planted seven years ago. The 17 year cicadas emerge, turning the woodland into a source of nourishment for the pigs. Farmers wonder who or what is feeding their livestock as the cicadas swarm.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Missouri
Arkansas
Fashion Leader Struck by Pneumonia After Low Neck Dress
A contrived tale shows a fashion leader falling ill with pneumonia. A doctor blames the attire, saying the low neck dress caused the sickness. The patient faintly smiles, acknowledging the effect of the costume.
What He Feared Card Party Invitation Hint
Mins Passay asks Chartie Dunne if I have Thursday night plans, and Charlie says I have none. The exchange hints at an invitation to a bridge card party, suggesting concern over social expectations and possible later commitments.
Kidney Pills Restore Emma Shirley’s Health in Killbuck
Miss Emma Shirley of Killbuck New York says kidney disease caused headaches dizziness weakness and weight loss. After taking Dean's Kidney Pills she reports twelve boxes cured her and she gained six pounds, calling them life saving. Sold by all dealers 50 cents a box Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Emma Shirley
Killbuck
N. Y
Dean
Foster-Milburn Co
Puffalo
N.Y
Man invents sidewise rocking cradle shaped like a boat
A man introduces a new cradle that rocks lengthwise in a boat shape arguing sideways motion harms infants. The piece criticizes mothers for rejecting traditional cradle rocking and defends the invention as a modern solution to colic and infant comfort.
Fragmented moral vignette and ads from a 19th century page
A fragmentary local column mixes a moral fable about a generous woman and a hungry man with assorted contemporary ads and quips. It includes a five dollar tender moment, a brief demand for work, a Walt Whitman quote, and small product promotions for foot care and headaches, reflecting period miscellany.
Cure of long illness with Cuticura in Vermillion case
B Hiram Mattingly of Vermillion South Dakota suffered ten years of widespread itching sores that covered most of his body except face and hands. After trying many remedies and losing hair he used Cuticura Ointment and Cuticura Soap and was cured in months, with hair regrowth, after spending substantial sums in vain.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
B. Hiram Mattingly
Vermillion, S. Dak
The Hold Up Man Relieves Man of Watch in Quip Over Family Heirloom
A cartoon caption shows a hold up scene where the thief robs a man of a watch. The victim protests that the timepiece is a family heirloom of 75 years carried by his wife’s family. The exchange ends with a wry remark from the man.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Puck
Reflection on hostess charm and vintage tea tale
A Kansas editor notes how premature white hair adds to a hostess’s charm at a big house tea. A debutante receiving a blue cup is told the cup is a hundred and fifty years old, prompting a witty reply about speaking carefully to avoid tears. Also a brief CASTOR IA reminder ends the fragment.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Wis
Wisconsin Man’s North West Success in Alberta Letter
A letter from Philip Neisingel of Cayley Alberta praises Canadian government agents for guiding Wisconsin settlers west. He details land purchases, farm assets, and rising wealth including 320 acres bought for seven dollars an acre, later sold for twenty, plus cattle, horses, poultry, and Calgary and High River lots paid for. He notes substantial gains since moving less than three years earlier.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Han
Canadian Northwest
Northwest
Calgary
High River
Wisconsin
Betslegel
How Pat Got In and the Irishman at the Gates
Dr George A Gordon pastor of Old Booth church Moston recounts a Witty Irishman at the gates of the other world seeking admission St Peter declines claiming great sinning yet the man crowed thrice like a rooster and Peter relents Come in Pat we will let bygones be bygones This tale appears in Lippincotts.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
George A. Gordon
Old Booth Church
Moston
Peter
St. Peter
Pat
Lippincott
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