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Newspaper
Sidney Telegraph
Location
Sidney, Nebraska, United States of America
Date
May 09, 1908
Page
2
A collage of brief exchanges and witticisms from various sources and voices. Snappy lines include reminiscences on love and proposals, a mock police inquiry, newspaper business ethics, a request for money, misheard conversations, art gallery banter, and domestic humor about pies and affection.
A light exchange describes a couple joking about a bank run and a wife taking money from pockets, turning a financial scare into a comic moment. The dialogue contrasts a nervous question with a casual, witty reply.
The dialogue humor column quotes Washington Star on a rich man’s brains, Kansas City Times on Rockefeller’s shyness after a fine, and Kansas City gossip about Perham and his wife. Cheago club women reportedly vote marriage a failure, prompting witty husbandly replies.
The Metropolit an Opera House New York announces new leadership aiming to introduce English grand opera. Funds surpass 250000 dollars tied to former city employees, while a new fruit the lignon berry is set for import from Sweden. Tanbark usage declines from 1s percent since 1900 despite rising value.
A reflective note argues that ambition drives improvement while acknowledging all humans face finite lifespans. It warns against hubris and suggests progress persists beyond individual limits.
An array of brief items includes a Castoria motto, Luther Burbank's promise of a northern hardy banana, ancient horse skull discoveries on a French road, a gypsy caravan blocked at borders, a Thomas Birch painting donated to the Naval Academy, and a Yosemite Bridal Veil water conservation plan proposing reservoirs to extend flow into autumn.
A fragmentary excerpt shows a penniless aristocrat offering marriage to a wealthy farmer’s daughter and a terse reply about a coat of arms. The text shifts to a dialogue where Milkins and Kifkins dispute usefulness, followed by a brief exchange about a Mrs. Namer and Mrs. Caller questioning household finances.
A string of light quips unfolds in a busy workplace involving Brown and his wife, a gossiping broker, a widow, a bookkeeper, and a typewriter operator. The humor centers on misunderstandings, wireless telegraphy, two facedness, and counting mosquitoes at a hotel.
A reader recounts coffee related illness and how Postum Food Coffee helped several individuals. They note relief from headaches stomach issues and heart and digestion problems after switching from coffee to Postum. The letter ends urging readers to consider Postum and mentions a book titled The Road to Wellville.
A wife delivers bad news to a millionaire about their daughter running away with the chauffeur. The old man responds with indifference, noting it could have been worse if she had eloped with the chef and they would miss their dinner.
Mr Dobbs asks if a man can love two women at once. Miss Nobba quips no once a rival is found. Mr Boone compliments Easyton’s courtesy to his wife, while Mrs Boone remarks he treats her like a stranger.
An offset collection of quoted lines from the Philadelphia Press contrasts a sly car thief boasting about evading capture with charitable charity and social class comments. It blends anonymous gossip and wry social observation about Miss Brown, Boanes, and a janitor family.
A witty exchange shows a sister questioning whether the engagement to Mrs Weeds stems from affection or wealth. The brother insists the bride loves him, while the sister quips that a widow's mite may not amount to much.
Ethel confirms Carrie is the fiancée while Carrie notes how she is kept busy minding Tom. The exchange centers on the engagement and the need to remind others of the couple’s commitment.
Instructions for cleaning matting with corn meal and salt water are followed by a claim about the world vine yard output at 3 554 416 000 gallons. The Toledo police court notice includes Frank J Cheney swearing partnership and a claim offer of one hundred dollars for a cure, with hall’s catarrh cure advertisement and Siberia native population figure.
The Servian army uses a two wheeled cart drawn by a large dog for the drum, with the drummer position behind it as it moves. In Germany the law mandates staggered vaccination in early life at age twelve and again upon entering compulsory military service, using calf lymph for vaccination.
Se a Pinch Use Allen's Foot Ease. A powder to shake into your shoes. It relieves corns bunions swollen feet sore feet hot feet and ingrowing nails. Allen's Foot Ease makes new or tight shoes easy. Sold by all druggists and shoe stores 25c sample mailed free Allen S Olmsted Le Roy N Y.
An advertisement extols Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as a premier female health remedy. Mrs. Bertha Muff of Louisiana Missouri testifies after twelve years of illness and eleven doctors, claiming the product restored her health and strength and urging other suffering women to seek the same relief.
A London woman eighteen named Lizzie Martin has turned the fingernail of her right index finger into a writing instrument. The nail grows to length, is split like a quill, and used for writing. A shapely young woman visited an artist’s studio seeking to model.
An advertisement touts Mrs Winston's soothing syrup for children teething claiming it softens gums reduces inflammation and eases pain while another note notes a glove cutter in Paris can earn up to 100 dollars weekly.
They describe a natural method to move bowels without wasting fluids or greasing the intestines. The text argues that stimulating bowel muscles strengthens them for the future, comparing the result to strengthening an arm through exercise.
Reports from Birmingham Alabama Memphis Tennessee and New Orleans detail a wide tornado strike corridor. At least three dead and dozens injured with towns like Walls Miss Albertville and Natches affected. Widespread destruction including demolished churches, split depots, and downed wires.
In 1936 King Miguel was deposed and the $2 million crown jewels were seized for the state. An inventory later showed $750,000 worth missing. The royal house administrator and the bank governor admitted removals, saying King Carlos ordered the sale to cover royal debts.
Detectives arrested Kerr a blacksmith and another unnamed man in connection with the dynamiting of former Supervisor Gallagher's home. Kerr attempted to buy nitric acid at a drug store Thursday afternoon, and the clerk noted his explosive knowledge and alerted authorities after the Gallagher explosions.
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