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Newspaper
Rocky Ford Enterprise
Location
Rocky Ford, Colorado, United States of America
Date
Jan 03, 1908
Page
6
A fragmentary column from Chicago News mingles a stage scene with traveling anecdotes. Characters joke about money and respect while Professor Kuhnemann praises Boston women and contrasts London etiquette with American speech.
A seasoned observer claims most rare art and vestments in world museums have at some point passed through thieves hands. He notes churches loot priceless items yearly and cites a tale that Napoleon took the Sphinx nose as a curio relic, suggesting pyramids would adorn museums if lighter.
The Rex Dental Company offers dental advances including saving loose teeth and curing diseases of the gums. Missing teeth can be replaced with plates or bridgework. A free booklet is available from Rooms 20 to 25, 728 Sixteenth Street, Denver.
The notice promotes Dr Kilmer Swamp Root as a cure for kidney and urinary issues claiming it relieves pain back liver and urinary symptoms. It states the remedy strengthens against liquor effects and offers free sample bottle and book by mail from Kilmer Co. Binghamton NY.
A terse exchange centers on age and poetry with an editor pressing for entry. The boy asserts he is about 18 as the woman presents verses. The scene hints at a contest or judging moment in a small-town literary setting.
Massachusetts and Connecticut lose shoe prestige while Wisconsin rises as the nation’s top full vamp shoe producer. The F Mayer Boot and Shoe Co of Milwaukee dominates the western market from the Mississippi to the Pacific, with new Seattle and Milwaukee facilities expanding capacity beyond 9,000 pairs daily. A second section recalls a Scottish nurse’s quip and a Langford quote on the joy of book lovers.
An anecdote from a Civil War veteran recounts General Robert E. Lee saluting a young girl waving a Federal flag near Chambersburg. Lee urged her to wave on, saying no one shall disturb you, while the troops showed restraint. The tale underscores noble manners keeping war from brutalizing citizens.
In a car ride three men discuss aphorisms and a sanitarium officer posting a red card reading Epigrams Within. The stranger interjects with misheard remarks and the others react with mild alarm while a herbivorous expert is cited, ending with the stranger abruptly leaving.
Two East Coast men started a Idaho cattle ranch partnership. After years the elder returned for a month and an accident befell head stockman McIntyre. The younger asked for guidance. telegram advised to stop wages from the date of the accident.
A famous noble disturbed a thief in his town house aided by the butler. He ordered the kitchen help to fetch a policeman but was told none were on the premises. The master exclaimed no policeman in his kitchen despite his staff. The prisoner was to be released immediately.
Dialogue shows Tommy Keating and Clerk McCullough arguing about flea powder in a San Francisco setting. Miscommunication over application methods hints at local store banter and humorous tone.
Levi P Brockway of Anoka Minnesota reports five months in hospital and a terminal prognosis before starting Dean's Kidney Pills. He claims the medicine addressed kidney trouble and heart issues, restoring health and eliminating smothering spells and fainting. He notes improvement since use and mentions the product is sold everywhere for 50 cents a box by Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY.
A New York clothing house received an inquiry from the southwest asking for the proper afternoon groom dress. The livery chief suggested a bottle green coat and fawn trousers with top boots and an allk hat and cockade, offering price options. A week later a note complained that marriage is expensive and asked for something simpler.
A Montreal woman recalls doctors failing to cure an eczema on her leg for 25 years. After using Cuticura Remedies, swelling subsided, new skin formed, and she was cured in two months. She credits the treatment with saving her life.
A collage of quotes and notices includes a Baltimore Sun excerpt arguing married men commit more crimes such as wife murder, followed by brief anecdotes about a child misnaming an aunt’s hair rats and a sales pitch for music items. The jumble also mentions a laxative ad and a teething remedy, ending with a classic proverb about adversity.
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