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This newspaper page contains 30 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Newberg Graphic
Location
Newberg, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Aug 13, 1908
Page
7
A Detroit Free Press item shows a husband and wife quarreling over a wedding photograph. He admits giving it away to “keep peace” explaining no house is big enough for two talking machines, a lighthearted wartime era gag.
The official says those who devote time to the country’s service deserve recognition. Farmer Countassel replies that some should and others deserve more respect if they could approach the payroll in disguise.
A Washington Star quip quotes a hopeful citizen asking if an insurance company is run economically. The reply notes fewer blotters and calendars arriving, suggesting cost cuts.
Uncle Allen Sparks notes that betting on a race almost always yields a different result than expected, warning that money placed on the outcome often proves unreliable.
A fragment from the Philadelphia Press recalls Miss Bute-Flo saying I was quite pretty and Miss Chellus-Yes noting you were also pretty once. The item preserves a brief social remark in a quirky quotation.
The proposed extension of the Siberian railway along the River Amur enjoys strong approval from the ministry and is expected to be built. It would open up about 40,000,000 acres of corn land for development and settlement.
An old Toledo advertisement promotes Hall's Catarrh Cure with a promise of one hundred dollars for untreatable catarrh. The text includes a notary attestation dated December 6 and a testimonial invite, followed by unrelated product mentions and a joke about fashion hats and a disconsolate widower.
A lighthearted exchange features Uncle Henry and Sammy debating a tarpon catch. Henry recalls a seven feet ten inches record while explaining his limited remaining years and desire for a peaceful afterlife.
A financier faces a judge who cites the maximum fine after asking about prior arrests. The prisoner jokes about offering reduced rates to regular customers, prompting the judge to respond with duty.
The government advances forestry in Korea under newly enacted forest laws said to arise from a cooperative agreement between Japan and Korea. A school for training Korean foresters is also reported to have been established.
A man named John reassures his wife Maria he will drink spirits to cope with alkali dust from overland travel. She notes they are still 500 miles from the alkali region, implying the plan may not be needed today and suggesting restraint.
The poem line proclaims a steadfast, unbreakable ship of state that will endure through the years with rocky, imperforate sides, reflecting a Chicago Tribune tone of confidence and morale.
Quote comparison from Catholic Standard and Timea contrasts a living wise man who can change views with the dead who cannot. The exchange frames opinion rigidity across life and afterlife in a humorous reflection.
The general demand for a known value laxative is met by the California Fig Syrup Co. with Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna. It is promoted as ethical and wholesome for family use and is favored by the Well-Informed. Sold by leading druggists at fifty cents per bottle.
A Tid-Bits snippet shows Charles proposing to Ethel with coy hesitation. Ethel replies she is unsure and promises to inform him later. He plans to wait at Mabel Hicks' house until 10 o'clock and will ask if no word arrives by then.
A humorous dialogue contrasts grand diplomatic interstate affairs with a domestic health issue in a colored family. A performer, Mr Splitcher Beerdrums, is introduced for a satirical song. A recipe for a custard dessert is shared, with steps involving eggs, sugar, nutmeg, milk, and a meringue topping.
Brazilian railroads at the start of last year totaled 10 776 miles in operation with 1 002 miles under construction and 4 177 miles being surveyed or approved, bringing total planned and active mileage to about 16 855 miles.
John Vaughn of Mercerville, a rural letter carrier, was hit from behind as a car struck his loaded rig. He was pitched into a wagon loaded with tomatoes and escaped serious injury thanks to the fruit. The wagon owner lashed out at the crash and the car sped away with a grin.
A government officer announces participation in the afternoon ceremony to lay the cornerstone of a new battleship. The event marks a significant step in naval construction with officials present to oversee the formal molding.
The story follows a young office helper nicknamed Skag who slogs through shabby clothes and poor focus. After a stern warning from the boss, he redoubles effort, then vanishes one Monday. He returns renewed and is finally called by his proper name Skaggles, not the nickname.
A notice requests advertisers to consider mentioning the newspaper in their campaigns. The appeal emphasizes visibility and local reach, urging partners to include the paper in promotional plans and noting potential audience engagement.
Ambassador Wu Ting Fang is quoted recounting a Shanghai doctor joke about a mandarin seeking sleep and appetite relief. The physician promises to “put you in condition” with morning floor polishing four times a week, noting his own floors are larger.
A short cheeky whistle halts a rabbit and an antelope. An African hunter notes the elephant’s timidity and fear from a mysterious noise.
Rivers pleads for a rhyme and Brooks admits none exist. Rivers then crafts a verse in blankety blank form despite the shortage of rhymes and prompts.
An excited citizen shouts a fire alarm to an officer claiming shoppers flee a store though the scene reveals hats blocking revolving doors. The dialogue shifts to a humorous aside about the Nibelungenlied with Mrs. Highmus and Mrs. Gaswell.
In a playful caption from the Cleveland Leader, Tommy identifies the bearded man as Capt. Kidd, pointing to the pirate crew while Dottie questions which is the famed captain in this humorous scene.
The excerpt recalls Grover Cleveland in Buffalo where a lazy lawyer spurns books for oral practice, claiming he “practices entirely by ear.” A second humorous dialogue shows Wedderly provoking about fiancée’s swimming skill as a test of silence, with a quip about happiness in marriage.
A colorful note claims a man would leave an enduring mark among people after buying a fountain pen. The quirky line humorously notes how the pen and its owner spread impressions, while a local observer remarks on how a town lacking resources turns to a healthful climate as a remedy.
A comic exchange between a lobster and a clam features punchy lines about toughness and clever shells. The playful dialogue hints at a hustling sea market vibe with a wink at maritime manners.
A humorous moral tale advises young men to wait on a doorstep when a girl says she is busy with dishes, suggesting the prize may be lost to another suitor. The vignette extols patience and prompts readers to value a radiant-faced girl who declines immediate company.
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