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This newspaper page contains 28 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Mitchell Capital
Location
Mitchell, South Dakota, United States of America
Date
Oct 13, 1899
Page
13
A New Orleans Times-Democrat note quotes a city business man who after a minor eye operation endured three days of darkness and mused that smoking pleasure comes from taste more than sight. He describes lighter problems, missing the scent and glow, and turning to cigarettes which failed to satisfy. Upon bandage removal he eagerly used a pipe and tried to recapture lost delight.
A peddler visits a legal building and is assaulted by a lawyer, then by the partner, then by the janitor. The man, bruised, notes he has found a perfect system in the building’s handling of unwanted visitors.
A 16 year old girl cashes a money order at a post office and learns the margin note reads I send you five dollars and a dozen kisses. The postmaster quips about receiving kisses as part of the payment while the girl tells her mother how the system promises more features each year, joking it beats special delivery.
A Brooklyn Times anecdote recalls a clergyman who received a heavy envelope at a wedding. Expecting a $10 gold piece, he found a silver quarter inside and dropped it into the poor box.
The eldest soubrette appears with eggs and explains she got them for a mere song. The heavy man asks where she got them and the audience supplies the eggs, ending the group’s two day fast as reported by the Chicago News.
Forty years ago Canaries cost 12 dollars a pair in China. Today the market is flooded with birds and pairs can be bought for 0.75 dollars, reflecting a dramatic price collapse due to widespread ownership.
A Chicago News tale shows Evangeline’s brother Sam asking for a dime while the colonel and a janitor discuss status. The janitor, mixing humor with authority, rejects the loan as his dual roles clash with public service. The scene ends with a mock threat of comic violence.
A San Francisco Call tale recounts Chow Sam Lung, a gambler, wooing Ah Moy and foreclosing a mortgage to claim her as wife. He wins her father’s debt on New Year’s, takes Ah Moy to his home, and upends old plans for her marriage to Low How. The story shows sharp guile and romance in Chinatown.
The piece contrasts hose watering with natural rain for flowers. It argues rain provides a unique atmospheric chemical quality essential to plant vitality, while garden spray cannot replicate that effect. Rain nourishes via airborne elements gathered before reaching the earth.
A swan attacked a park policeman on Waterlow Park upper lake after India rubber balls rolled into the water. The constable paddled in a punt to recover the balls, sparking a fierce chase as the bird abandoned its mate and cygnets and lunged at the boat.
A young girl visiting Lincoln Park in Chicago watches an elephant by a trough and asks why someone does not lift the trunk so the animal can drink, reflecting a child's view of the zoological display.
A public cemetery keeper near Prague excavated older graveyard sections and sold human bones to manufacturers for years, earning more from bones than animal bones. He was caught and suspended from his duties.
The article muses on how the last human might die as civilization ends. It surveys fates from suicide and beastly attack to suffocation by carbonic acid gases, oceans sinking, Arctic ice collapse, and starvation in a drying Atlantic valley, ending with a sun that grows cold and life fading.
The text traces how the dot on the letter i emerged in the 14th century to distinguish it from e. It notes that i and j were once identical and that Dutch printers later differentiated them by adding the dot to j, reflecting the i’s original dotted form.
A quirky tip from Nauvoo Rustler advises writers to liven a cheap steel pen by barely heating it then re dipping in ink. The method supposedly yields a pen that will make the heart glad, encouraging bold writing from the start.
A brief humorous exchange cited from the Chicago News. Mrs Hunewell asks if one believes in eternal fitness of things while pouring coffee. Hunewell replies his opinion changed when his wife began to make his shirts.
An amateur editor inherits $150,000 after his father dies from grief reading one of his son’s editorials reported by the Nauvoo Independent.
A broke young man in Philadelphia devises a bold scheme to get clean clothes from a Chinese laundry. He collects his soiled items, offers sixty five cents for both bundles, and leaves before the laundroman can react, leaving him with freshly laundered shirts and collars for a crucial engagement.
Mrs. White recounts a trip with her husband who used a Fred Harvey free ticket at multiple Santa Fe eating stations. He ate lavishly at each stop while she paid for meals, until the last station when he learned the breakfast wasn’t free and had to pay $2.75. The tale appears in the Atchison Globe.
A St. Louis Post-Dispatch excerpt details a European medical figure's analysis of cannibal motives. It cites percentages for consuming the dead, warriors, youth seeking meals, relatives for religious rites, and enemies for revenge, plus famine-driven eating and a residual 24 percent who prefer flesh to other food. The piece notes ongoing cannibalism in parts of Africa, where meat is even sold in villages, and asserts ease of killing for flesh compared with hunting.
A Plymouth Pennsylvania miner endured about seventy hours trapped in the Gaylord coal mine and slept calmly upon realizing rescue was near. He emerged modestly, more concerned for his distressed mother praying at home than for his own ordeal, in a scene noted by Collier's Weekly.
A Washington Star quote features a patient man defending piano music and his daughter calling a piece a slumber song, objecting to the term while insisting pianos are for playing and his daughter uses the music to wake the house nightly.
A Los Angeles Times reprint recounts a single daily voyage on a tiny Cornwall line from Wadebridge to Bodwin. An umbrella halts the old engine, third class car is a van with no seats, and the fare is 14 to 25 cents for seven miles. The driver doubles as conductor, tickets are on board, and timekeeping is lax as sand is sprinkled on rails on inclines. Bodwin, with a Phoenician-era cathedral town past, now faces modern express trains erasing relics of a slower era.
The New York Telegram urges proper walking form teaching in schools and homes. It warns against toe walking and advises easing heels down first to keep the body erect. The note favors gymnastic instruction as a small cost for lasting benefit.
A young girl fell down stairs and bumped her elbow. She told attendants she is fine but her elbow feels very dizzy after the impact, as reported by Orion Signal.
A show business man notes animals are not deceived by illusions. He recalls a Nashville Mystic Maze with mirrors dogs navigate without error and a Frisco Haunted Swing where a rotating room misleads humans but not a cat or animal. He cites Herrmann on animals discerning false legs.
Report to the Amsterdam classis in 1657 by Rev. Megapolensis and Rev. Drisins notes failed efforts to convert local Indians. An Indian taught Dutch and religion, but after two years he stole the Bible, drank liquor, and became a hindrance to missions among the Indians.
A Georgia justice of the peace admonishes a jury after signaling a prior favorable ruling. The piece blends court anecdote with brief notes on Sarasate, a simple fire extinguisher by wire mesh, ancient gloves, and jelly from elephants’ tusks.
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