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Newspaper
Long Branch Daily Record
Location
Long Branch, New Jersey, United States of America
Date
May 24, 1912
Page
2
A collage of humorous quips and anecdotes from old newspapers featuring playful lines about a missing girl, political boss humor, a dog story, and light social satire. Included are jokes about a boss and Ike, a nomadic family with a dog, a benevolent miserliness tale, a doctor patient banter, and vaudeville contracts.
A detailed roster of street corners and landmarks for fire alarm boxes including options at Franklin Second, South Bath Second, Bright on Second, Cedar crossing N Y L B R, Lyddy Cottages Ocean Elberon, Park Elberon, Elberon Station, Park Norwood Norwood Hollywood Westwood, Brighton Bath Prospect, Morris Prospect, Ocean Broadway, Broadway Edwards Lumber Morrell, Grand Buttonwood, Branchport Cloughly Nicholl Co lumber yard, Washington Lafayette, Joline Edwards, Sixth Halberton, Sea View Liberty, Patten Port-au-Peck Pleasure Bay, West Street Columbia, North Long Branch Oliver Byron Engine, Fay First Laird, Liberty Hamilton. Signals: 1 Tap Open Circuit. 2 Taps at 12 o'clock Test 2 Taps Box Second Alarm. 3 Taps Fire Extinguished. 7 Taps General Alarm.
A collection of quips and jokes from early 20th century papers includes a witty exchange about women voting and a polite escaped convict note. Other items joke about rent and propriety, reflecting light social humor of the era.
A humorous exchange cited by Journal Amusant features a shoe dealer denying a customer’s claim of asymmetrical feet. The dealer asserts both feet are differently sized, and the customer disputes the notion. The anecdote reflects satirical social humor from the period.
A compact tale recalls 1829 Oxford Cambridge race at Henley with vivid outfits and boat weights. It drifted into miscellany including Aunt Martha hiding silver, Dorothy and Jacky debating an apse, and a quip about a ten dollar bill from a Chicago News gag.
A witty exchange from Youth's Companion contrasts two doctors. The Young Doctor laments patient recoveries this week while The Old Doctor blames the youth for neglect, citing clubgoing as a fault. The saying warns that sin brings pain and that settlement delays incur compound interest.
A father told his son to cut luxuries due to college expenses and the son responded by cutting classes since. The exchange, attributed to Tudge, shows a pragmatic approach to financial restraint and education.
A reader quotes the St. Louis Post-Dispatch musing on home security and independence. The line suggests self reliance as a defense and implies personal judgment over hired help in safeguarding property. Franklin’s maxim about serving oneself is also cited.
A farm tale recounts Levi Trost feeling ill on a warm spring day while chores unfold. He returns with fishin g tackle and seeds as a neighbor notes his odd behavior, hinting at a hidden sickness. A doctor meets grave robbers who mistake a warm corpse for a living passenger, provoking a panicked chase.
The Chicago Record Herald notes patience has limits as delays can backfire. Editorial voice cautions that quiet patience may turn into unforeseen friction or retaliation when issues persist.
Cleveland Plain Dealer notes a recurring disturbance over a yearly practice titled First Fly-Ehb and questions the motives behind renewed calls for extermination, signaling a contentious community debate without specific events or dates.
A Detroit Free article notes a sharp eyed exchange about a man making money hand over fist. The passerby asks his business and learns he is a prizefighter, implying notable earnings from boxing in the era.
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