The Philosopher and the Tack
Watkins Furbish tries to live as a philosopher. He aims for happiness by ignoring annoyances and embracing calm, yet slips on a tack twice, turning his reflections into comic verse as his day begins.
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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Falls City Tribune
Location
Falls City, Nebraska, United States of America
Date
May 15, 1908
Page
3
Watkins Furbish tries to live as a philosopher. He aims for happiness by ignoring annoyances and embracing calm, yet slips on a tack twice, turning his reflections into comic verse as his day begins.
A world leading burglar proof safe sits inside a bank on Newburg Island. Nightly it is lowered into a reinforced vault by cables and secured with massive lugs. A triple time lock prevents any human access until release at a preset time, ensuring the safe cannot be reached even if the building is damaged by dynamite.
An Irish laborer visits a drug store and offers sticky lozenges for analysis. The chemist quotes five dollars, but the man swipes the lozenges back and plans to feed one to his cat, exposing a humorous attempt to test candy.
A dated fable reworks a rescue at a fashionable seaside resort. A brave youth saves a woman from drowning and is asked to choose between wealth or love. The grateful father, a poor village editor, confesses he cannot pay and bequeaths his daughter instead. Moral: fiction can outdo reality.
Chicago theater manager recalls Clara Bloodgood as witty and talented. He cites a tea at the Auditorium where she quipped to a society woman about Bar Harbor and her daughter’s attire, contrasting bathing suit in the morning with riding bloomers and a low neck at night.
The piece notes about one boy in fifteen becomes left handed by age ten and links it to maternal influence. It cites German schools teaching right handedness and points out most tools favor right-handed users. It adds that ambidextrous people may have advantages, but posits nature favors the right arm for most tasks.
The grain as a unit comes from the old English pound defined as the weight of 7,680 grains of wheat from the middle of the ear. This yields 480 grains per ounce, with 16 ounces per pound. The Troy and apothecaries' ounce preserve this 480 grain link to pre Conquest times.
A traveler describes Swedish bull skating as an odd, pretty sight. Girls skim two feet high while experts go five feet on stilts performing outer and inner edges, rings, and the grapevine. Falls from five foot stilts can punch holes in the ice.
A juror challenges a judge after a not guilty verdict in a murder case. The foreman asks whether the jury can be trusted, quipping about not knowing how to treat a lady as the reason for their decision.
A business group in St. Louis named The National Prosperity Association seeks to speed recovery from economic downturn. E. C. Simmons notes widespread confidence is returning with favorable crop prospects and supports press and commerce groups to restore prosperity and maintain wages.
A speaker catalogs types of laughter from joyful to cruel. He contrasts a wholesome laugh that clears the mind with sneering, secretive, nervous, and mirthless laughs. He warns that laughter at others' distress leaves lasting hurt and memory.
A Tar Heel cites Miles Darden as the largest man ever born in North Carolina. Born 1798, he reached 871 pounds in 1845 and reportedly weighed around 1,000 pounds at death in Tennessee on January 23, 1857. Details include a coffin 8 feet long and a coat said to fit three men.
A young man recalls giving up his seat to a lady and receiving effusive thanks. He notes some occasions make him uncomfortable and would prefer a simple smile and a nod as proper acknowledgment.
In Athens a wealthy Greek named Bevastopulos left 1,000,000 dollars for public objects. One hundred thousand for the Greek Royal Agricultural Society and 60,000 for a technical school for workers, plus 500,000 for various philanthropic foundations in Athens and Constantinople.
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