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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Sep 19, 1902
Page
2
A sprawling string of witty asides and quips critiquing politics prosperity and society runs through Emmons Co. Record. Notes poke at Simon Sam goop the king Edward likeness and a parade of characters from Kipling to Denver. The item skews toward satirical anecdotes and puns reflecting early 20th century public mood.
The Henley regatta draws a cosmopolitan crowd as Americans vie with British crews in the diamond sculls. Spectators fill stands and barges, while bands play and colors fly from Yale Yale blue to Trinity. The three day event turns Henley topsy turvy with revelry and sport.
A new St Deiniol’s library rises on Hawarden hill in England as a national memorial to Gladstone. Nearly 35,000 volumes from his Hawarden library will be preserved in transfer, with endowment near £10,000 and a Gothic Helsby stone building awaiting opening.
A minister staying near a distant chapel loses a new pair of trousers. He discovers the farmer’s wife say her husband borrowed them for the town fair, leaving the minister to return to bed until they’re returned. The anecdote leads to Sir George Dibbs and a fated Chicago interview.
A survey of frugal innovations turns junk into useful goods from ink to dye and edible jellies. Anecdote recalls Major General John Gibbon meeting Fitzhugh Lee at Appomattox, recounting Lee's cadet days and a wartime note folded into a wife’s memory.
A New York visitor recalls a Guatemala earthquake near Quezaltenango that destroyed J. C. James's Santa Maria Mountains estate with great loss of life. He describes a dinner interruption as the shocks overturned wine glasses and dampened party spirits amid locals accustomed to tremors. A separate vignette recounts a playful schoolyard recitation about Jane and a confusing line, met with a teacher’s pause.
A conversation on life’s disappointments leads to a remark about a man who had a chance to buy a gold brick and chose to marry instead. The exchange ends with the speaker weeping at never knowing the thrill of “gold-bricking” and moving on.
A new clergyman visits a family for Sunday dinner and compliments the host’s son for staying still during the sermon. The boy realizes the minister meant his restraint saved his father from waking, highlighting the boy’s misinterpretation of praise.
A Nebraska town letter urges editors to curb swearing and gossip by whistling, proposing a moral habit to reduce slander and loud talk. It argues the practice could bring a welcome quiet and reflect a shift toward courteous discourse.
Rumors center on Senator Clark of Montana negotiating to buy the famed blue gem for 500000. The Hope diamond, weighing 443.5 carats, arrived in the United States November 26 1901 aboard the Kronprinz Wilhelm. Its history links to the Tavernier jewel and the Brunswick diamond with speculation about halves.
In a vision like a gown clinging to her figure Bessie rides her car with hourglass curves and steam trailing behind. Pedestrians pale as the horn blasts and the crowd parts as she speeds through the avenue in bold, flirtatious triumph.
A vivid verse portrays a mild mannered woman who transforms into a fearless street racer when she grips the car lever. The piece contrasts her gentle home life with her dangerous roadway blaze as she speeds through the city, scattering vulgar horse riders and drivers.
The Boston Journal reprints a Drumtochty anecdote from Ian Maclaren's Drumtochty tales. It recalls Jamie Soutar's sharp wit when faced with a lay preacher's exhortation and the village's sly, warm reaction to his reply about not wanting to leave yet not welcoming arrogance.
Ray Stannard Baker notes desert flora are armed or armored with spikes thorns and barbs. Cactus spines pierce leather, mesquite and cat's claw tear clothing and skin, agaves yuccas and paloverde carry dangerous leaves. Bear grass also guards its domain. grease wood and paloverde keep to themselves with hidden defenses. Break a twig and a warning scent lingers.
The New York Times reports Judge Debra E. Martin of the New York Court of Appeals halted a lawyer’s pompous presentation on a motion on the Supreme Court bench. He pressed for the latest authorities, but the judge denied the motion with costs and interrupted with a sharper question about newer decisions.
Reports show higher death by own action in European forces than in their home countries. The text notes poets favor portraying the vanquished’s triumph and cites Nathan Hale as a thinker’s reference to broader victory beyond the victor.
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