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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
May 19, 1905
Page
2
A column from Emmons County Record notes varied items from a Boston authority on beauty to Castro’s invasion threats. It pokes fun at politics humor and social quirks while citing a Navy desertion rate of 10.7 percent and Taft approving a longer bayonet for quicker stabbing.
A periodical offered a liberal prize and reviewed 12000 submissions but purchased only 65 stories. This outcome suggests literary genius is not universal despite widespread writing for publication.
Word from London reports the new countess of Rosslyn, formerly Miss Anna Robinson, an American actress, has settled ten thousand dollars annually on her husband without conditions. The arrangement invites debate over who has the stronger claim to satisfaction.
The passage dismisses rumors that Russell Sage suffered a violent coughing fit and coughed up $100,000 for foreign missions. It states his lungs are sound and notes a recent large donation to the school linked to his wife’s graduation many years prior.
Modern surgery now enables safe removal of the human stomach. If provisions grow pricier, a new trend may emerge as society adapts to rising food costs and altered diets.
Gratton faces mortal fear in trenches near a ridge as a major assault moves forward. A vision of danger haunts him before a colonel and tent mate reassure and celebrate his leap into battle. He kneels amid firing as a Spanish flag flutters on the field and a distant cheer rises.
The Sioux City Journal argues good humor must be cultivated as a defense against low mood and oppression. It describes humor as a safety valve preventing harm from bottled frustration and likens it to sunlight and evening lamp in a comfortable home.
A Brooklyn supreme court judge confronts a juror claiming deafness to dodge jury duty. The judge reads a technical medical certificate and orders the man to return to sit as a trial juror, declaring the certificate a lie.
A Kansas City Journal note reports daily weight fluctuations: after sleep we lose about three pounds six ounces, gain one pound twelve ounces at breakfast, lose fourteen ounces before lunch, gain one pound at lunch, drop ten ounces in the afternoon, and an ordinary dinner adds two pounds two ounces to a healthy person’s weight.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer quote recalls a tense moment as a man tells of a scar left by a wife who tried to smooth trouble with a flatiron. The exchange highlights domestic discord and a lasting reminder.
A fearless steeplejack who replaced Elmer Wakefield at a 200 foot smokestack job performs daring acrobatics. Wakefield’s stunt earned caution from the painting firm, which seeks a safer contractor. The new worker continues with steady focus after Wakefield’s removal from the project. Meanwhile in Georgia, unions protest J Pope Brown’s plan to cut passenger rates, warning of fewer trains and job losses.
A reflective monologue recalling childhood summers and barefoot hikes by a narrator aging, comparing memory with the present. The piece evokes a rural past, cricks and green paths, friends long gone yet memories alive as laughter rings ahead.
Samuel Crawford of Sherman Pennsylvania suffered a scalp tear while operating a patent hay fork. Surgeons grafted cat fur onto his skull, the surface knit, Crawford recovered but later the new scalp grew tiger cat fur. He fears shaving his head while neighbors report odd nocturnal prowling and barn haunts.
A Milwaukee reader recounts Pat the Irishman turning to highway robbery after hardship. He grabs a traveler with Yer money or yer life but the traveler offers money for the pistol. Pat accepts, takes the cash, then the traveler demands return of the money, noting he will shoot. Pat says to blaze away since no powder in the pistol.
A brief feature notes a boy's six curiosities posed to John Henry Burn in Children's Answers. Questions include do kittens shed fur at night, who cooked dinner when adults were children, why oysters lack tails, what medicine is in green bottles, what Santa brings for non icy skate days, and why water goes to feet when drunk.
A father declares his daughter must marry a man of strength and courage. The suitor concedes he would take a chance on her despite the odds, showing resolve in the face of misfortune.
Weary Wraggles-Leddy offers to saw wood in exchange for hot grub. Mrs Firstfiore-But points out the flat burns only gas. Weary Wraggles-Den promises to turn on the gas for her.
A teacher asks a Irish pupil why absent. The boy says his mother had mumps and he had to fetch the doctor. When told mumps are catching he explains the stepmother never gives him anything.
A witty exchange shows Roger Minott Sherman quipping about physics of law while Nathan Smith offers a literal challenge. Sherman retorts that he did not say bristles, prompting laughter as the court notes the rapid repartee.
Local resident J H Bailey asserts Dodd's Kidney Pills cure Diabetes claiming seven boxes helped his condition and he remains able to work. He says strict diabetes dieting would have achieved a full cure, and touts the remedy as curing kidney diseases from backache to Bright's Disease.
Enthusiastic ladies touring a Northern factory town face a cold reception from Local women skeptical of female suffrage. An elderly woman retorts she has suffered under a bad husband and will not vote, slamming the door as the visit ends.
A traveler on a Transvaal rail trip asks a guard why trains stop. First a cow on the line, then hours later the same delay recurs. The guard reveals it is the same old cow causing the repeated stoppage.
Dialogue notes that a quoted price for an appendicitis operation moved from 300 yesterday to 326 at opening and rising to 337 during trading. The specialist clarifies the quotation reflects new market levels.
A mother from Addington Indiana shares a two year battle with eczema. After trying many remedies she found relief using Cuticura Ointment Cuticura Resolvent and Cuticura Soap. The letter claims a permanent cure and notes sleepless nights due to the ailment. The ad ends with a prosaic proverb on love and guns.
A collection of witty lines about girls and dating, including reflections on exclusivity and appearances. Jokes touch on parental insight and social expectations with lines about open secrets and fates of summer romances.
Rev Jacob D Van Doren of Fond du Lac Wisconsin reports severe kidney disorder symptoms kept him home for days. He credits Dean's Kidney Pills with general health improvement and relief, and offers to share details in a personal interview. Sold by Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY at 50 cents.
A promotional piece extols Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription and Golden Medical Discovery as alcohol free remedies. It quotes Mrs Harrison of Sioux City praising cures for female ailments and urges reading Dr. Pierce's Common Sense Medical Adviser. Also mentions Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets for digestion and complexion.
Miss Cayenne dismisses the idea that modern novels push readers toward crime. She argues they are poor but not temptingly so, suggesting literature alone does not drive desperate acts.
A citizen comments on Dustin Stax in a local dispute, claiming he is national bank proud rather than purse proud, illustrating tensions and strong local opinions in the case.
Mr. William A. Newman of Sagrada Missouri suffered eight years with deafness head pains hissing heart palpitations and stomach trouble. After failing with doctors and others he found relief and full cure using Dr Williams Pink Pills within three months. Sold by every druggist.
A clergyman calls wealth a disgrace, sparking a witty exchange on propriety. The remark provokes laughter as another speaker retorts that he prefers not to be too respectable.
Advertisement for Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children from a nurse at the Children's Home New York. Claims to cure feverishness head ache stomach trouble teething disorders break up colds and destroy worms. Sample mailed free address Allen S Olmsted Le Roy New York.
A concise exchange notes that certain bets exist but all reliable wagers have already been decided, implying no sure outcomes remain. The remark frames risk and certainty with a wry tone.
The dialogue shows Pat Do and Mike trading lines in a playful dialect. They joke about feeling “blue” yet “foine” when in good spirits, turning mundane talk into a lighthearted exchange.
Alfred Agents of the Government of Canada notes two home farm fields with 1903 yields of 37 and 26 bushels per acre at 88 cents a bushel. He details summer-fallow costs, harvesting, threshing, hauling, and profits per acre, and cites total wheat and grain on his farms. He closes with government contact and a political aside about monopolies and the church.
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