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Newspaper
Clare Sentinel
Location
Clare, Michigan, United States of America
Date
Aug 02, 1946
Page
10
A young New York lawyer opens a basement office once used by a tailor. An Irish visitor asks what he sells and the lawyer quips that he sells blockheads. The exchange ends with a playful remark about the single eft.
An elderly mountaineer brings a gangling youth to the village doctor. The father-in-law admits shooting his son-in-law in the leg, prompting the doctor to rebuke the act. The mountaineer retorts that the man was not his son-in-law at the time of the shooting.
A humorous exchange in Old Wives Tales features a man joking that staying out late makes his wife historical not hysterical as she digs up his past. The quip highlights playful marital banter and a sharp comeback.
A heavy woman nearly 300 pounds fell while learning roller skating. Attendants rushed to help but struggled to lift her. A bystander tried to reassure her, but a small voice from beneath clarified. I am not a lump. I'm an attendant.
A teller paid a customer with old dirty bills and quipped about microbes. The woman, a teacher, jokes that microbes could not live on her salary, highlighting a humorous exchange about money cleanliness.
During a Sunday service a baby began crying loudly as the mother moved toward the door. The minister told her the noise did not disturb him, and she replied that he was disturbing the baby, highlighting a clash over noise and patience in a quiet church moment.
The scene shows Congressman Cootie warning of a campaign for an honest ballot count in the Midwest while Senator Spouter accuses radicals of threats to topple the government. The dialogue hints at tensions between reformers and opponents amid an election context.
Casper asks if study of a blotter is done and Wasner calls it a very absorbing subject.
Helen Terry remembers a near tragedy during a play when a prop man failed to place a mattress by the stage river. She fell onto the bare floor as the audience reacted with laughter about the water being frozen.
A thirsty professor leaves his berth and wanders a silent railway coach seeking a water cooler. He cannot recall his berth number and becomes lost among curtained compartments until a remembered clue about a window view solves the puzzle.
A chaplain reports two soldiers to the executive officer after observing foul language on a telephone line repair job. Private Smith writes that he dropped a hot lead onto Private Jones, who jokes about Smith being careful.
A daughter prepares a short piano piece as a gesture for quiet at home. The father approves, saying it’s about time they found a moment of peace.
A British householder confronts a burglar in his home and plans to call his wife who has heard the intruder nightly for 20 years. The exchange ends with the burglar warned of a real meeting with the wife, adding a humorous twist to the scene.
Long running quarrel between Mrs Thompson and Mrs Williamson ends with a peace pledge at the parsonage arranged by a local clergyman. After a tense moment Mrs Thompson wishes Mrs Williamson well and Mrs Williamson retorts with a sharp jab about gossip.
A drunk spectator near a Chicago subway excavation asked the worker at the bottom how long the project would take. The reply: three years, prompting the man to quip that he would take a taxi.
At a meeting once attended by Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes a remark about his height prompts a quip about feeling small among tall men. The doctor replies that he feels like a bite among a lot of pennies, illustrating his self confidence.
New York reports hoboes warn railroads of heavy spring travel in 1946 as WW II ends. Hobo News notes roving workers aim to catch up after four years, with GI veterans among the wanderers. Hobos insist they are workers not moochers and trace their origin to post Civil War railroads.
In Lancaster California Cecil Graveline 15 died from a .22 rifle shot during a five minute desert war game with four companions. Suspects William Felix 17 Alfred Smith 16 held on murder charges while James Helm 15 was placed in Juvenile hall. Ballistics expert Layne said the shot came from a rifle used by Smith and Helm.
Pittsburgh reported that John Yonis of Braddock escaped a 10 to 20 year second term after Judge Michael Musmanno omitted the habitual criminal act clause from his sentence for a gas station robbery. The error was found at Western Penitentiary, leading to the second term being removed.
Japan’s census reports a total population of 73 110 995, up from 72 875 800. The gain includes 34 903 265 males and 38 207 780 females, with Tokyo and major cities expanding since November.
Researchers Dr. Thomas Francis Jr. and Dr. Jonas Salk report the influenza vaccine reduced cases among US Army personnel by a nine to one ratio compared with unvaccinated groups. The study notes protection lasts at least a year with mild reactions at the injection site and urges continued caution.
Internal Revenue officials estimate about three of five filers will receive refunds averaging over 40 dollars. About 30 million of 50 million filers will get roughly 1.25 billion dollars, with repayments likely finished by July 4. Last year 21 million received 1.1 billion in refunds for 1944 taxes. The bureau aims to cut interest costs by speeding refunds.
In Camden New Jersey veteran Edward Dwyer a Leyte and Okinawa survivor faced five masked robbers armed with sawed off shotguns at Ole’s ranch near Berlin He chased the robbers out and saved $4 000 despite the danger The bandits fled after Dwyer’s warning to back off
In Stevenage England taxpayers rejected a Labour plan to transform the town into a gay and bright new town under the new towns program. The bill would authorize development corporations to build 24 towns for 50 000 people each costing about 76 million dollars per town designed to absorb 1 million people from London and other cities.
Sweden struggles to sell fresh fish in Europe as France resists increasing imports. Stockholm radio notes Swedish boats discard catches when not allowed to land in continental ports, leaving stocks unsold and dumped back into the sea.
The Friday club met for two tables of contract bridge with Mrs. John Doherty. high scores went to Esther Wise and Mrs. Wallace. Joyce Wisler celebrated her eighth birthday with games and refreshments. Frances Duncan’s prenuptial shower was hosted by Mrs. Gerald Dillon and Mrs. Bernard McNerney. August birthdays were noted for Rebekahs and a Wilson State Park picnic featured several local couples and families.
A turquoise of volcanic activity marks an underwater chain between Tokyo Bay and Guam. The Marianas, Volcano, and Bonin islands rise from the restless sea while peaks like Aracas and Suribachi point to ongoing eruptions and national flags planted on Iwo Jima.
The rayon industry expanded in the south over 30 years, with refined wood pulp and cotton linters forming the main raw materials. Southern plants produced about three quarters of domestic rayon output, valuing rayon and allied products at 119 million dollars in 1939 and rayon broadwoven goods at 112 million dollars.
The trumpeter swan, North America s largest waterfowl, has seen its population quadruple over 16 years. From 73 birds in 1986 at Red Rock lakes refuge, counts now total at least 301 in the United States, with 60 in Yellowstone, 163 at Red Rock lakes refuge in Montana, and the rest near National Elk refuge in Wyoming and Malheur refuge in Oregon.
A local brief notes heightened vigilance as residents encounter unfamiliar visitors in Glare. Officials urge courtesy and safety, recommending reporting suspicious activity to authorities and avoiding confrontations.
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