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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Apr 25, 1912
Page
7
Colds and chills bring kidney ills with backache and urinary disturbances, Doan's Kidney Pills marketed as useful in spring months. Testimonial from Mrs. EB Bennett of Los Gatos credits relief after using the product, with over two years free of kidney trouble. Sold at 50 cents in stores.
In a brisk light exchange, Cholly laments a stopped watch as he explains an invite to dinner at seven. Gussie cuts with a witty line, turning the clock gag into a playful jab about time and company.
In danger Griggs-So Bachellor is ill at the hospital. A remedy for pelvic pain is Paxtine Antiseptic with hot douches sold by The Paxton Toilet Co. Boston. Also Dr Pierce's Pleasant Pellets promote stomach liver and bowels. A remark on paying debts before leaving.
Ad for Dr J H Rindlaub of Fargo North Dakota highlights eye ear nose throat practice and promotes Garfeld Tea as a purifier and regulator of the system. Claims indigestion relief and general health benefits with a sermon and Money text reference.
A string of comic exchanges features characters like Dinguss Pnoodlesg and Hewligus Lapsome. The dialogue pokes fun at money lending and legal help while introducing a running joke about a supposed sister.
In a humorous vignette from Ladies Home Journal Willie travels with his parents across the ocean. WhileFather and mother suffer seasickness Willie remains immune and noisily provokes passengers until mother asks father to calm him with a gentle greeting.
A star gazer offers a phil ter to make a husband love his wife, quote to $2. A practical housewife declines but proposes a counter if the philter could ensure salary returns on pay days, promising a percentage of all sums realized.
In a humorous exchange Mr. and Mrs. Henpeck discuss ideal female height. He asserts five feet five inches as divine, she retorts she is five feet eight inches, and he compliments her.
A terse note suggests speculation about a husband securing life insurance. The fragment mentions Madam Rumor and a bold aviator, implying doubt about the couple’s situation. The readable text centers on possible motives tied to insurance.
A playful exchange hints that women humorists rival Artemus Ward in wit as one speaker jokes about a typewriter spelling humorously. The quick quip underscores evolving comedic voices without naming individuals or events.
An old advertisement promotes Marine Eye Remedy for red, weak and watery eyes with granulated lids. It claims the product is compounded by oculists and not a patent medicine and markets vials at 25 cents and 60 cents from Marine Eye Remedy Co Chicago through druggists.
A local charity ball is praised as a success with attendees noting expensive gowns worth around two hundred thousand dollars and a total raised nearing seven hundred dollars for the cause.
In a busy quick lunch spot a harried waitress asks a customer tea or coffee. He smiles and whispers a challenge to guess his choice, hinting at a playful moment during a routine service.
A terse remark questions credit approval for a share. The speaker dismisses the idea and notes stubborn resolve to keep growing whiskers.
A whimsical note claims Mars appears ruddy in color and that dandelions on the planet would appear red rather than yellow, hinting at planetary differences in a playful way.
Dialogue reveals a rich uncle’s stinginess as the will enforces debts. Alice recalls a youth, Ethel identifies Mr Sniggins, the rejected suitor, throwing old shoes at a marrying couple and attempting to slug the bridegroom.
A traveler asks for the mean temperature at Devil's Lake North Dakota. An old settler responds humorously that there is no mean temperature there only the meanest, reflecting local humor and weather bravado.
A cryptic exchange jokes about a Turkish towel and a printer turning it into Turkish howl. The remark shifts to reflect on Italy's actions regarding Turkey, suggesting a geopolitical undercurrent without explicit details.
The exchange questions whether women should be in polling places with men as the speaker compares it to mingling in overcrowded cars. The dialogue highlights concerns over safety and decorum during voting.
The excerpt notes a paradoxical effect as drinking causes a man to loosen up when he is tight. The dialogue explores how intoxication can alter behavior in opposite ways depending on the initial state.
A collection of short titled lines hints at witty exchanges and amused reflections. The pieces include I Haven’t Time Fresh Buttermilk North Temperate Zone The Grand Calumet River One Word More and I Leave the Subject With You Certainly Madam It Will Afford Me Pleasure to Contribute Some thing Go ahead Dear I’m Listening.
A quip from Fliegende Blaetter depicts a pastor and doctor during a sermon about a coughing wife. The joke notes the wife wore her new hat, drawing focused attention from the congregation.
A dialogue centers on a widow accusing a man of lying about his wife being an angel. The man asserts he is a widower, while she claims intimate knowledge of his wife, challenging the other’s truthfulness. The exchange highlights trust and rumor dynamics in relationships.
A light dialogue notes a man stopped by his new self starter, Greene remarks the fellow tests it while the car remains idle, highlighting confusion over the device.
A private musicale discusses the cost of grand opera singers and wonders why top vocalists cannot be secured for a modest price. The exchange notes that performers could be obtained for a song, implying undervalued talent.
Shortleigh-My Uncle Frank is described as a veritable Klondike while Longleigh notes wealth with cold distant nature. The Smart Set voice contrasts abundance with detachment.
A cryptic note praises a manager named Conner for upholding actor rights while accusing him of attempting to "hold up" the comedian. The passage presents a tension between management and performers with unclear specifics.
A local dispute centers on a clash between a blonde and a brunette, drawing mixed opinions from residents and prompting calls for calmer discussion. The debate highlights community sensitivities about appearance and identity.
Prudent man questions lead to discussion on marriage and money. Gwennie asks why he refused, while Gertie notes his belief that marriage would help him save more money in the long run.
A fragment shows a debate on the cost of peace and military spending with hints of agricultural metaphor. The lines imply public questions about price and value during wartime discourse.
A 19th century style advertisement touts Allen's Foot Cushions antiseptic powder. It claims over five million free samples annually proving the product's merit and invites readers to request samples from Allen S. Olmsted in Le Roy New York.
A humorous quip notes that Peck says he was misled at marriage and now jokes that he is Mrs. led, highlighting a marital misunderstanding with a playful turn of phrase.
A note hints at a mysterious woman guarding an unknown secret linked to a bold Garfield Tea package. The text suggests a bilious attack warning and forearmed preparation, implying a quirky, plot driven scenario surrounding a beverage.
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