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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Apr 18, 1912
Page
6
A London Weekly Telegraph joke describes a country tailor failing to pluralize tailor’s goose correctly. He rewrites the order to ask for one tailor’s goose and adds a postscript offering two instead of one.
At the Emporia wood roads convention Mr Wilhoit introduced prominent citizens to delegates. He stated each represented a business, then said the last man represented nothing. The man replied that he represented himself, and Wilhoit acknowledged the point with a quip.
A mother questions if Mr Youngbuck will fail to win the daughter’s consent. The girl’s suitor vows to press on, while the mother notes his campaign may continue unless she limits him.
Dialogue centers on the preacher and Deacon Hayrick arguing about resignation. The Preacher taunts the Deacon for not resigning despite two years of preaching on the topic.
An OCR fragment shows a poet lamenting loneliness after a word choice in a dated line. The text references a printer and a stray quoted word, hinting at transcription gaps. The piece centers on the tension between expression and misprint.
An enterprising man seeks secrecy for a transaction and a sage counselor suggests sparking a controversy to keep facts hidden. The plan hinges on flooding the discussion with theories until the truth remains obscured. This medieval dialogue-like exchange frames intrigue over disclosure and public knowledge.
A lighthearted exchange between a local couple highlights romance and practicality. The fiance suggests work before marriage, prompting the bride to resist while joking about needing no clothes for a long time and the issue of food suggesting future needs.
A man declares he is not singing but is recalling the names of Chinese cabinet officers. His wife questions the ribald song as he reads the evening paper. The exchange centers on memory work turning into odd behavior during a domestic moment.
A humorous exchange shows Mrs Flim glit stating her husband is a good life partner but not suited as a bridge partner due to the position of responsibility such a role carries. The remark plays on roles in personal life versus a card game partnership.
Dialogue reveals a playful exchange about wishes and money with characters Hix and Dix, noting that wishing costs nothing and financial status is irrelevant to a wish.
The verse notes a man seized by a dreadful cold is ill suited for cheer and more prone to melancholy, preferring solitude to merriment rather than embracing gaiety.
Hilton says his wife deserves credit for aiding his career and notes she served as his stenographer for years. He praises her skill in persuading creditors to be patient, claiming no office worker matched her in that delicate task.
In Desperate Mood the impresario contemplates the prima donna’s voice, comparing it to an angel and then remarking how an angel might sound when performances disappoint. The exchange reveals tension between artist and manager, with implied dissatisfaction shaping the tenor of the scene.
A French traveler misuses English saying he will ride at the country and plans to knock on your door when he returns. His friend corrects him to ride in the country and the man agrees it is better. The exchange highlights language quirks and camaraderie.
A satirical exchange between a ready made philosopher and Senator Sorghum on the dangers of excessive liberality. The senator argues that while a drop of ink can provoke thought, distributing ink in large quantities may exhaust people and dull thinking.
A humorous exchange cited from Harper's Weekly features Bilkins claiming no one has been run down in over a year of driving and his wife countering with a five year sewing circle record without incident.
A physician urges an ice cold morning plunge to cure insomnia. The patient protests that the cold wakefulness will keep him awake all night, making the remedy worse than the disease.
The Artist calls the project the best work to date while The Critic cautions against letting applause affect confidence.
A terse verse voice laments a merchant pressing for payment. The speaker expresses hardship as a pittance struggles to meet the demand, portraying a tense financial strain in simple, period tone.
The dialogue notes a call for a woman to be appointed to the Supreme Court vacancy. Skeptics dismiss the idea, arguing a capable woman would not endure a role where she must stay passive while others argue.
A critic quips that national taste may be improving though statuary remains lacking. He notes a shift from wooden Indians once seen in front of cigar stores, suggesting the change reflects evolving public art.
A man recalls meeting Richard Wagner and recounts a notable anecdote that Wagner once charged him forty dollars or its equivalent. The brief reminiscence highlights the composer’s sharp business edge in a casual exchange.
A brief quip notes Time is money as a Wise Guy asserts the value of time and a Simple Mug questions the ease of exchanging it. The exchange highlights a flirtation with wit over practical economics in a compact dialogue snippet.
The exchange highlights contrasting medical views on health enhancing travel. One says a physician recommends travel south for wellbeing while another quips that a fool of a doctor prescribes sleeping outdoors, underscoring distrust in medical guidance.
P N Flint of Kansas Agricultural College advocates a cheaper fattening method using erass as the main diet. Cattle are bought in thin condition, fed roughage, then grazed and finished on grass with a small corn ration, aiming for July market. Winter feeding increases costs due to shelter, hauling, and weather.
A city office worker confined for rest uses four fresh laid eggs daily and raw eggs in milk as advised by her doctor. She starts a home yard flock of fifteen pullets with a portable coop, cared for by her younger brother, producing enough eggs for herself family and a profit at a drug store selling at a premium.
An Alabama inventor outlines a clever trace connector featuring a whiffletree end with separated parallel sides and notches. A wheel pivots between the sides and carries two radial slots with lateral passages. A ring is inserted by aligning a slot with the notches to secure the assembly.
A described mechanism uses a wheel and whiffletree with side guides to prevent the ring from slipping. The trace connects to the ring by a spring hook, enabling quick hooking or unhooking in seconds.
Farmers should sow Essex rape seed to feed hogs on green forage plus moderate grain. Ten weeks after sowing, the pasture supports growing pigs. provide ashes salt and sulfur mixture, clean dry pens, and fresh water. An expert mix adds burnt bones water and sulfuric acid for healthier pigs.
Experiments in Ireland show autumn born calves gain faster in winter when housed at night in a well ventilated shed versus sheltered free range, but differences fade by mid summer. Wet weather harms unprotected cattle more than cold spells.
The article notes diverse horse diets from locusts fish and dates near the Persian Gulf to pig blood in Tibet and meat in cold Asian mountains. It argues rising meat use among stockmen as a useful addition to livestock rations in the home country.
Claim asserts 77 000 000 acres of swamp and overflow lands in the Mississippi valley may be converted into farm property at five to seven dollars per acre, with potential for broad settlement and development.
An advertisement touts Dr Williams Pink Pills as a cure for sciatic rheumatism based on a testimonial from Mrs J B Hansen of Minneapolis. It claims relief after years of pain and weakness, notes nervous health depends on pure red blood, and invites readers to request a booklet plus buy pills at 50 cents per box or six for $2 50.
A playful dialogue shows the Playwright seeking feedback on a new play while the Critic admits the playwright is more ambitious and powerful, sparking a witty exchange about talent and ambition.
Miss Etta Narber of Spring Lake Michigan reports four years of eczema on her hands vanished after using a full Cuticura Remedies set for three days. She had tried three doctors and various salves with little relief before selecting Cuticura. A free sample offer for Cuticura Soap and Ointment plus a 32 page book is available from Cuticura Department L Boston.
A witty exchange reveals the couple’s arc from friends to marriage doubts. The scene captures familiar remarks on courtship and commitment through concise dialogue.
An advertisement touts Garfield Tea as a natural constipation remedy made from carefully selected herbs and sold at all drugstores. The copy links goodness to reputation, urging readers to try the product.
A brief commercial note touts Marine Eye Remedy for pink eye and other eye troubles. It rejects public display of personal troubles and urges discreet use while warning of an epidemic eye issue this spring.
An eccentric collection of phrases notes Nat Goodwin as a central figure in a metaphorical “All-America marriage team.” It touts Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets as a digestive tonic and hints at political themes about liberal time and elections.
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