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Newspaper
Barnesville Gazette
Location
Barnesville, Georgia, United States of America
Date
Apr 13, 1899
Page
3
A Cornwall town woman owns a parrot that lassoes the grim refrain I wish the old lady would die. Her curate lends his parrot to reform it and, after training, the cleric’s bird prays We beseech thee to hear us good Lord. The parish laughs and Litany wishes are dropped.
An advertisement claims Electric Bitters cure many ailments from back pain to malaria. It asserts they tone the body, purify blood, and restore vigor, promising relief from constipation headaches fainting and sleeplessness. The product is described as a purely vegetable mild laxative with a guaranteed bottle available at W A Wright's Drug Store.
Clara mocks the saying that love is blind while Cholly notes its truth. she argues that a man in love sees more in his beloved than she can. The excerpt highlights contrasting views on romantic perception.
W C Jordan and Brother advertise Dr Sawyer's Little Wide Awake Pills claiming they purify the blood improve vigor of thought regulate bowels cure biliousness and inactivity of the liver and constipation for a healthier constitution.
Corporal E N Montalvo recounts a Spanish captain who, despite surrender orders after the Aug 13 action, replied in a broad Irish brogue. The officer, an Irishman who married a Spanish woman, explains why many Irish serve in Spain and prompts General Otis to joke that the only Spaniards who can fight are Irishmen.
Tommy questions a politician visitor about leaving, joking that the man always carries a load. The exchange reveals the boy’s view of his father's influential friend and the inevitability of duty.
Valuable to women Browns Tron Bitters promises to ease backache headaches and restore strength and color. The ad claims it suits sickly children and overworked men and asserts every home should have this famous remedy sold by dealers.
An old astrological prediction assigns romantic and temperamental traits to girls by birth month. January suggests prudent melancholy but good temper. February foresees a humane wife and tender mother. March a frivolous chatterbox. April inconsistency but good looks. May happiness and handsomeness. June impetuous and early marriage. July potential handsomeness with sulky temper. August amiable and practical and likely to marry rich. September discreet and well liked. October pretty but unhappy. November liberal and mild. December well proportioned with novelty and extravagance.
An old Washington Post item recounts a Chicago couple renting a West End boarding house room after the husband secured a job. The landlady, a lively widow, quips about never truly knowing the husband, a man of mystery, as the couple proceeds to take the room.
Advertisement touts Dr Saw Yers Wild Cherry and Tar as a remedy for cold cough and to prevent lung or bronchial complications. Promotional claim by W C Jordan and Bro.
A lounger at Polk Street station asks what daily question wears workers most, and the ticketseller damps the fatigue. The piece notes passersby cough sneeze and a nod to Pasig as best for a cold, with a Cleveland Plain Dealer mention.
Atlanta Journal notes Cobb county Democratic executive committee endorses a white primary for sheriff nomination and bans candidates who use money whiskey or vehicles to influence voters. It argues fraud voids contracts and urges statewide adoption of strict honesty checks to bar corrupt entrants from office.
The passage surveys diverse thinkers from Plato to Proclus and Bronson Alcott, presenting Man as a universal specimen and moral mirror. It echoes Byron's childe Harold lines, framing humanity as a pendulum between joy and sorrow and inviting admiration, doubt, laughter, and tears.
Bucklen's Arnica Salve billed as the best salve for cuts sores ulcers rheum fever sores to help with tetter chapped hands chilblains corns and all skin eruptions. Guaranteed satisfaction or money refunded. Price 25 cents per box sold by W. A. Wright.
Tit-Bits reports Parker and Hicks discussing a ruffianly companion who turns out to be Parker’s twin brother prompting a playful forgery of recognition. The exchange hints at mistaken identity and sibling relation in a lighthearted tone.
A sweeping grip epidemic grips Boston New York Philadelphia Washington and Louisville with teachers clerks business men and others affected. Dr Miles Nervine is advertised as a remedy and preventive claimed to restore energy improve appetite and aid recovery with a two bottle cure testimonial from Exit WooparpD Plymoth IL. Card advertises guarantee money back and free booklet.
A family on Calvert Street near Lanvale scared themselves when a pet turtle began a clumsy stair descent. Lieut. Silas D. Smith and neighbors armed guards and searched the house after a burglar scare, only to find the noise came from the wandering reptile.
Ad for Parker's Hair Balsam touts cleansing and beautifying effects and claims to promote hair growth and restore gray to youthful color, with references to hair and scalp health and cures for hair loss. Includes fragmented quotes from other papers.
Advertisement promotes Cascarets candy cathartic as a cure for constipation with a money back guarantee if not satisfied. It claims education of bowels and appeals to druggists for refunds.
A column extols Dr Hathaway and Co for modern medical methods crossing school lines. Specialists focus on specific diseases using electricity and latest science. The piece praises advertising as a service to chronic patients and urges sharing proven medical advances.
An advertisement touts Hathaway and Co as top specialists promising rapid permanent cures across diseases and debility. It highlights patient letters of recommendation, mail treatment options, and a 64 page booklet, plus a humorous aside about a multi‑focused local figure.
An advertisement touts Dr Tichenors Antiseptic as the most wonderful healing compound for skin abrasions lacerations burns and irritants like ring worm poison oak and sunburn. It claims a single trial will convince skeptics and notes it is sold by all wide awake druggists.
A stranger asks a band to play at his brother's funeral, a private citizen who wanted the band to help attendees feel sorrow. The band leader asks why this choice, while the stranger notes the funeral is not military.
A vintage health ad promotes No Tobacco as a cure for tobacco use. It claims the product makes weak men strong and offers a booklet and sample for free. Available through Sterling Remedy Co. in Chicago or New York.
The pseudo-scientific boarder notes a dog guiding itself by its tail and a wandering bark. The Bluebird jokes about flying north and triggering cold weather when people remove heavy underwear. The copy reader praises a spring without galling poets climbing the stairs of editors.
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