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Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jul 22, 1909
Page
6
A New York Press anecdote recalls a society dinner where a large crumb perched on a woman's nose becomes the comic focus. Guests hide laughter as the vivacious hostess chats on, until her husband discreetly removes the bread crumb with a napkin.
The penguin does not fly but hops with flippers aiding balance. It stands about two feet tall, sometimes nearing four, and its slow, heavy hop is humorous yet shows a stern persistence in nesting. Some penguins collect stones for nests, others steal. fights ensue while a lazy thief flees with the prize.
A shrewd lawyer in a bribery case pressed a high‑ranking businessman on whether he had ever refused a bribe. The witness's initial reply began with a "No, but" and, when dismissed, the lawyer explained he stopped because the “but” signaled no one had ever offered a bribe.
The new volume of the lord high treasurer of Scotland shows early compensation practices. It notes a carter receiving 25, a widow receiving 10.56 for her husband’s death, and 10.56 for owners of two broken drums after the 144 siege of Glasgow.
A Louisville Courier Journal quote notes that learning to ride a bicycle should stop when the bicycle stops, warning that some riders persist past the halt. The admonition frames a prudent rule for training and safety.
A humor vignette shows a man quitting smoking to save money. He then saves more by ending an engagement to cut further costs, turning the plan into a comic boomerang of self restraint.
A Philadelphia Ledger quotation questions whether a woman can be a satisfactory juror. The exchange notes a juror would need to agree with eleven men, implying women have yet to learn to align on legal matters.
A Fliegende Blatter cartoon caption turns on a teacher asking about self denial and a pupil replying with a quip about borrowing money from a father who is not at home. The humor rests on the misdirection of the term.
A macabre quip from the New York Journal recalls Bill’s fatal lapse as a hearse proves faster than his speed, a dark cautionary joke on slowness and fate.
A fragment describes weddings in Rothenburg with loud drumming and trumpeting by hired musicians before the ceremony at the rathaus. Neighbors rush to witness, while the bride receives wreath and veil from two friends and verses in her honor. Weddings mostly on Tuesdays run from early morning to mid afternoon with home plays and playful prophecies.
The New York Sun describes tortillas as the ancient Mexican bread made from maize. Women soak kernels in limewater, rinse, grind on stones, form dough, and bake on a stone griddle. Fresh tortillas are praised. beans frijoles are boiled to mush with lard in a flat dish, but the very poor sometimes lack frijoles or lard.
The London Express notes curious phrasing in death certificates, such as a laborer dying from injuries after a bull knelt on his chest and a man killed in a railway accident due to a misunderstanding with an engine driver, prompting reflections on mortality and animal responsibility.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer observation notes tobacco's extreme sensitivity to environment. It contrasts Virginian, German, Cuban, and Philippine tobaccos, citing how conditions color flavor and character.
A druggist notes a child bought tincture of benzine for ten cents and recalls past benzoin. The doctor replies that a diphtheria case earlier involved antitoxin with an epidemic syringe, highlighting medical jargon and a sharp exchange.
A quarrel between a wife and husband unfolds over money and status with the wife claiming change through influence and the husband retorting the shift is merely marriage gains.
A dialogue notes Briggins writing a historical novel and Miss Cayenne replies that the hero is the man who has undertaken to publish it. The quip underscores the publishing incentive as central to the tale.
In a casual exchange Jack Hello asks Tom about a new flat and where to buy a folding toothbrush. The brief dialogue captures everyday urban errands and consumer needs.
A Lincoln quote suggests disposing of anger by burning a wrathful letter in the stove. The remark frames temper control as practical resolution rather than confrontation. It encapsulates Lincoln’s pragmatic moral stance using a simple domestic image.
A brief humor item notes the Philadelphia Record quipping that the average woman gets off a trolley car backward, linking it to a joke about exits and manners in a lighthearted public note.
The article describes Damascus perched in a desert oasis fed by two rivers, the Pharpar and the Abana. It details how canals and aqueducts sustain gardens, fountains, and daily life, with the Abana arising from Ain Fijih and delivering ice cold water through a ten mile gorge to supply the city.
A New York pastor receives a visitor who plans suicide after misfortune. The clergyman listens, but recalls the man’s joy in golf and urges one final game. The stranger turns away from the act and is said to be living.
The Liverpool Gaslight company set a tiered annual charge by hour of light in 1817. One No 1 Argand burner paid £3 until 8 pm, £8 18s for until 9, and £4 16s to £6 8s for later hours. The note imagines ten burners burning to small hours under such taxation.
A Washington Star quotation contrasts civilization’s demand for truth with constant empty phrases. It notes how a simple door mat bearing the word welcome epitomizes insincerity in daily interactions. The dialog between an abstruse person and a book agent highlights pervasive superficiality.
A short exchange in the Democratic Telegraph contrasts two marriage goals. A poor man replies he seeks wealth and generosity in a wife, not thriftiness, highlighting social attitudes on wealth and partnership.
Chesterton discusses the pillory as a democratic but often cruel public punishment. He notes its humanity depends on societal temperament, and public cruelty or indignation drives its use. Publicity increased risk for both government and prisoner, with executions for treason highlighting the era’s tensions.
A St James Gazette description notes the kangaroo's hind legs grant speed for escape while a long steel-hard claw on each hind leg serves as a deadly weapon. It describes kangaroos disembowling dogs with sickle like claws and even hunters being attacked when captured.
The Colossus of Rhodes was a sun god statue erected by Charles of Lindus in honor of the sun and stood on two moles with a staircase to the top. It was toppled by an earthquake around 224 B C and sailors could view Syria and Egypt from its eyes. Colossal statues were common in eastern art, with many over sixty feet high, including Memnos near Thebes as described by Strabo.
An old physician recounts Ezekiel Holmes narrowly dying then recovering after craving corned beef and cabbage at midnight. A sea captain served the dish, and Holmes improved the next day, claiming the meal extended his life by several years. The tale, from Youths Companion, highlights a quirky cure.
A vivid, lyrical sketch of Russia’s iconic Volga air heard across czarist lands from Baltic to Caspian and Archangel to Bering Strait, evoking national sentiment and cultural reach. The passage captures how the song permeates the empire’s vast geography and populace.
In a Travel Magazine passage the narrator recalls the minor key Russian melody “Matushka Volga” linked to sorrow and exile. He describes prison barges on the Volga, the steadfast links to home, and notes the shift of punishment routes to Asia via the Transsiberian railway.
The Natal Witness reports a south Mashonaland curiosity named the German sausage tree. It bears crimson flowers in tall blazing clusters, then large sausage like pods with no leaves, resembling a sausage larder. The native Shangaans and baboons love the beans, while the Karenga refuse them as a superior people.
A man claims a bizarre nightly cure for nightmare by tying a string to an empty spool placed along his back so moving onto his back awakens him. He says the method prevents diabolical dreams endured for years.
A primary teacher demonstrates solids and liquids with objects on a table and asks students where to place her watch. A sharp pupil answers solids, then explains that placing it with liquids would make it wet. The moment offers a light lesson on states of matter.
Two men discuss a striking woman in black revealing she is the matron at the local insane asylum. The exchange hints at her influence and notoriety within the town.
A London Chronicle account describes amok killings as a religious frenzy driving a man to attack strangers with a creese or parang. The panic spreads as a rabble pursues the madman, shouting Oran amok while terrorized by Malay and Chinese participants and the sounds of the pursuit.
The article extols swallows as valuable allies to farmers and orchardists, describing them as light cavalry of birds that capture pests midair. They eat mainly predaceous insects and require only harborage and protection in return for their services to crops like cotton, with mention of other birds aiding in pest control.
Agriculture department bulletin notes cliff swallows migrating over cotton fields ingesting large numbers of weevils. Reports as many as forty seven adult weevils found in a single swallow’s stomach, indicating active predation on the pests.
A. Barton Hepburn cites Aristotle and Century to urge business leaders to reduce self focus and increase voluntary leisure. He argues wealth should fund culture and open-air enjoyment, leading to better health and longer lives as work abates.
A New York Sun remark notes that the author sleeps better on return journeys than while going away. He explains that worries at departure hinder rest, but by the end of the business trip his mind relaxes and sleep comes easily aboard any berth.
A fragment from Lippincott's depicts an Alabama truck farmer scolding his son for lack of industry. The father proclaims disinheritance amid racial language, illustrating harsh rural family rhetoric in a dated voice.
A playful exchange at the supper table shows Johnny sidestepping questions about his day. He jokes that physiology books and dinner talk should be pleasant, prompting a light moment between father and son.
Conversation at a home reveals no rebuke as Mrs Brown asks about the delay and Mrs Jones reports her spouse's wife simply sat at the piano and played the hymn Tell Me the Old Old Story.
The exchange reports a lecture titled How to Live on 15 Cents a Day. Ted is said to be performing well. Ned mentions meeting him in a restaurant after the talk where he was dining on a two dollar meal.
Anna A. Rogers argues that most young American men lack reading, music, art, and literature interest. She says they are poor conversationalists, favor monologues over dialogue, and that women value conversation and its courtesies as part of social discourse.
In a rough class room a secretary investigates a noisy scene. After the door opens, silence follows as the pupils answer no teacher is needed, and no replacement is desired. The incident ends with a calm result reported by the Manchester Guardian.
London Tit-Bits notes a small boy who, after his grandmother’s death, mailed a touching letter to angels requesting a harp for her to play since she is short winded and cannot blow a trumpet.
A Boston Transcript item notes a stage manager relying on actor Banga to cry lustily in the third scene. The father says the boy has rehearsed night and day and should perform as required.
A humorous exchange from Philadelphia notes Wigwag-Bjones behaves like family when visiting. Henpechke comments he fears the mother-in-law as the speaker does, emphasizing comic family dynamic.
A concise reflection on mortality quoting Eliot about what we regret when death arrives. The line contrasts tenderness with severity, suggesting remorse is not for gentleness but for harsher, unkind actions.
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