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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Apr 01, 1909
Page
4
The facetious Mr Snicker visits New York and tries a breakfast order at a hotel near the station. His joke about the butcher arrives as the dining room staff search for a manager and superintendent to satisfy his request.
A nature student explains that a cat hisses when danger approaches as a natural disguise attempt. He notes the raised and waved tail resembles a snake, a behavior from ancestral wild cats that persists in modern cats despite lacking real benefit.
Quote attributed to Quintilian warns that humor loses value if gained at the expense of propriety. The remark critiques sacrificing decorum for amusement, stressing ethical restraint in wit.
A vivid warning about river hazards and the need to heed warnings, followed by an advertisement for Electric Bitters claiming to cure backache and kidney issues. A testimonial from J R Blankenship of Belk Tennessee asserts a cure after long kidney trouble. Bottles priced at 50 cents, available at druggists.
A Chicago Journal report recounts pivotal single votes in U S history, from 1775 to 1808, affecting presidencies, state admissions, and territorial boundaries, including Hancock over Harrison, and Hamilton decisive moves that altered electoral outcomes. The piece links votes to major events and notes included anecdotes about Georgie Drew Barrymore and a Frohman telegram.
A Springfield North Carolina merchant recounts doctors predicting hopeless consumption for his son. After three weeks using Dr King’s New Discovery the boy recovered fully. The remedy is praised as infallible for coughs and colds and for serious lung diseases with a guarantee and trial bottle offer.
A Metropolitan Museum of Art curator endures constant inquiries about a Franklin statue misidentified as General Washington, a century old mislabel from a French potter. He calmly explains the error and the impossibility of correction, while visitors echo the same confusion, until a southerner visitor adds a final remark before leaving.
Most rheumatic pain is muscular caused by cold or damp weather and needs no internal treatment. A free application of Chamberlain's Liniment provides quick relief. Try it and feel the pain ease. Price 25 cents for large size 50 cents. Sold by J. E B. Cagwin.
A congressman At a Hot Springs dinner describes a sleepy backwater town, likening it to Squash and recounting a barber joke about waking the barber and sending a boy to the newspaper office to fetch scissors. The tale reflects humor in small town life and editor work.
An elderly couple aboard an accommodation train in New Hampshire amuse fellow passengers by trading coins. The old man asks for change for a five and for a dollar, then thanks the quarter-seeker while explaining Martha plans to shop in Nashay and his need to curb her spending.
Many people object to taking strong medicines prescribed for rheumatism. No internal treatment needed in muscular or chronic rheumatism. Most cases are these varieties. When no fever or swelling, apply Chamberlain's Liniment for quick relief. For sale by J. E. Cagwin.
A New Orleans Times-Democrat item describes a chopped turtle head kept in a porcelain dish that appears to show life after twenty four hours. Gus Schmidt bets on the head’s death but the creature’s eyes flash and its mouth moves, unsettling the onlookers.
The era's journalism records show Horace Greeley repeatedly opposing Abraham Lincoln in heated public confrontations. Lincoln faced sharp scrutiny and persistent arraignment from Greeley in the press.
York Tribune quotes Mr. Greeley on war policy and a warning that he could not oppose Lincoln openly. The piece notes Greeley’s belief Lincoln’s smile could “wilt” him and recounts a separate medical anecdote about Bucklen's Arnica Salve curing various ailments.
A Life magazine style column argues for a fixed standard of conduct based on wealth. It suggests millionaires over certain thresholds should become more honest or philanthropic, with social expectations rising from ten thousand to over fifty million. Ends with an unrelated ad for Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea.
Advertisement touts Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea as a all body regulator improving digestion blood flow and bowel function. It claims to make you well head to toe with tea or tablets priced at 35 cents by L M Bosworth.
A historical note on oyster crabs describes crustacean parasites that live in oyster shells. The female crab, unlike the male, boards out by feeding on the mollusk’s leftovers. Some related species inhabit mussels and scallops, with females also parasitic. Epicures prize these crabs as edible.
A Scottish architect warns against a 999 year lease by suggesting a thousand years. A Glasgow carpenter declines a dram until after work, citing recent sudden deaths. An authentic anecdote from Reminiscences of Dean Ramsay is cited.
A teacher in Aberdeen asked why the serpent tempted Eve. After a pause a boy answered that it was because ladies first, provoking a quiet moment before the punchline in Tit-Bits.
Pittsfield attorney N H Brown endorses Dr Kine’s New Life Pills as a reliable family medicine. Advertises 5¢ pills for chills constipation biliousness and sick headache, available at all druggists.
Promote health with Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea described as a spring tonic that relieves constipation indigestion and builds waste tissue. Claims to purify blood and strengthen the body sold by L M Bosworth for 35 cents.
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