01 Apr 1909
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 22 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ames Times
Location
Ames, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Apr 01, 1909
Page
1
In a Bangs story, Mr. Snicker, famed for his wit across seventeen counties, visits a prominent New York hotel. His breakfast plan trips over hotel procedure as staff scramble to locate a superintendent and manager to address his simple order of a hard boiled egg and Lyonnaise potatoes.
A nature student explains why a cat hisses in danger and mimics a snake with a raised tail. The tale links feline instinct to ancient behavior, noting tail markings resemble serpents and asks if humans share a similar instinct.
A quotable remark from Quintilian cautions that laughter should not be bought at the expense of propriety. The saying emphasizes the balance between humor and good conduct in public discourse.
A warning on river hazards cites careless boatmen and river ripples. The ad promotes Electric Bitters to cure backaches and kidney troubles, claiming a Belk Tennessee resident was cured after long suffering. It notes the medicine costs 50 cents at druggists.
A Chicago Journal summary recounts pivotal one vote moments from 1775 to 1808 including Harrison versus Hancock for presiding office, Rhode Island's 1790 entry, Hamilton’s pivotal vote favoring Jefferson, and the 1808 Senate impeachment outcome, noting how single ballots redirected states, boundaries, and leadership.
A Springfield North Carolina merchant recalls doctors declaring his son hopeless with consumption. After three weeks on Dr King’s New Discovery the son recovered fully. The ad touts the remedy as infallible for coughs and colds and the safest cure for serious lung diseases. 50c and 1.00 at druggists with satisfaction guarantee and trial bottle free.
A Metropolitan Museum curator endures constant interruptions over a misnamed Franklin statue. Visitors insist the china statuette in the Franklin collection is General Washington, a century old labeling error from a French potter. The curator remains patient, noting the mistake cannot be corrected.
Most rheumatism cases stem from muscle rheumatism due to cold or damp weather or chronic rheumatism. No internal treatment needed. Apply Chamberlain's Liniment for quick relief. Price 25 cents large size 50 cents. Sold by J. E. Cagwin.
A congressman derides a sleepy town like Squash calling it the limit in dullness. A man visiting asks for a haircut, wakes the barber after shaking him, and the barber jokes he will cut it quickly. He then sends the news to the editor to fetch scissors for another edit.
A tale from early days recounts Georgie Drew Barrymore receiving a tempting San Francisco offer but bound by her contract with Charles Frohman. She telegraphed the deal to Frohman who refused. She replied with good humor, then mentions a trial daily subscription offer from the Register and Leader in Des Moines for July 4.
An elderly couple aboard a New Hampshire accommodation train entertains fellow passengers with a running exchange of small-change requests. The man seeks coins to manage his wife Martha’s shopping, explaining she tends to spend 50 cents quickly when let loose in stores.
Many oppose the strong medicines usually prescribed by physicians for rheumatism and assert most cases are muscular or chronic non feverish. When there is no fever or swelling, apply Chamberlain's Liniment freely for quick relief, then buy from J. E. Cagwin.
A New Orleans Times Democrat report describes a gambling scene where a severed turtle head in a porcelain dish allegedly remains alive nearly twenty five hours. The oyster opener bets against Gus Schmidt, who later discovers the head snaps its jaws and eyes flash, suggesting continued life beyond the cut.
The fragment notes that Greeley opposed Lincoln and faced harsh public scrutiny, revealing a tense political clash amid Lincoln's presidency and public reproof.
York Tribune notes Greeley’s slowness in war policy and Lincoln’s cautious stance. A quote recalls Greeley’s distrust and potential talks with Lincoln. The piece also reports M L Bingham fearing amputation, then healing with Bucklen’s Arnica Salve, praised for eczema fever sores boils burns and piles at 25 cents from druggists.
The piece argues for a clear moral standard based on wealth level. It claims misconduct rises from doubt about right to act and proposes thresholds: with over 100 million, life should be honest. with 50 million, semi honest. with ten million, limited misdeeds allowed until earning up to 10 thousand a year. At fifty million, everyone should become a philanthropist. It cites Life magazine and promotes Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea as a remedy ad.
A vintage advertisement promoting Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea as a spring regulator that purportedly builds the body, regulates bowels, clears blood, aids digestion, and promotes overall health. Tea or Tablets offered at 35 cents by L. M. Bosworth.
The article describes the oyster crab as a remarkable crustacean that lives off other animals. It notes that the female crab inhabits the oyster shell and feeds on leftovers while the male roams the surface. Some related crabs inhabit mussel and scallop shells, with females again acting as parasites.
A Scots architect and a tale from Glasgow illustrate cautious minds in choosing long leases and timing. The architect proposes 999 years to avoid slipping into a thousand, while a Glasgow carpenter declines a dram to avoid sudden deaths and accepts it now. The anecdotes come from Dean Ramsay's Reminiscences.
A schoolteacher in Aberdeen quizzed her class on Genesis. After silence a boy raised his hand and said, Please, mum, cause it is ladies first, leaving the room in amused silence.
N H Brown of Pittsfield Vermont states that Dr Kings New Life Pills have been used for years as a family medicine and would not be without them For chills constipation biliousness or sick headache they work wonders price 25 cents at all druggists
A spring tonic claim about permanently relieving constipation and indigestion. It promises regulated bowels, waste tissue buildup, and pure blood, urging readers to grow strong and robust with Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea sold for 35 cents by L. M. Bosworth.
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