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Newspaper
Advance Hustler
Location
Advance, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Sep 05, 1912
Page
2
A collage of jokes and quips on fashion, travel and society from 19th century humor column. A Kansas man traps grasshoppers with a vacuum while weather and rail topics mingle with playful jabs at fashion and manners across cities like Cleveland Chicago and Boston.
A light, anecdotal piece surveys hair, Columbus costs, war divide talk, and the trolley as a budget ride. It notes a Russian proposal on Turkey, adds jokes about thermometers and cooling waves, and reflects on comfort differences between men and women in hot weather.
Ramona asks for ideas to entertain a bride-elect with magazine or book showers. Guests preselect subscriptions or books, each contributing 50 cents to cover the first year, ensuring ongoing enjoyment for the new household.
A practical guide urges careful hand care for working women. It explains that mild emollient soaps reduce skin damage from hot water and alkali, recommends homemade blends, rubber gloves for dishwashing, and steps to whiten and preserve the skin with benzoin rinse and cucumber tones.
A correspondent asks if each child in a family should receive a separate invitation for a party with a light luncheon. The reply notes separate invites for each person, clarifies that spouses count as one, and suggests affordable options like coffee and sandwiches or ice cream and cake, with invitations sent by mail or messenger rather than handed personally.
A mother proposes entertaining 12 children with opera sticks candy in colors per table. Use candy tongs and a container for straws. Players withdraw sticks from a pile without breaking it, scoring as the pile remains steady. After play, sticks won may be eaten and scores finalized.
The guidance describes seventeen year old girls with braided or pompadour hairstyles and back bows, modest skirts below shoe tops, and firm refusals to kiss. It notes rare need to defend with arms, offering safety steps for crossing dangers and sets calling hours from eight to ten thirty.
Irish Mary advises on introductions at dances. A young lady should say, I am very glad to meet you, Mr. Jones. Presenting a man to a woman should be, Miss Young, may I present Mr. Jones, who is here on a visit, or who is anxious to meet you. Include a clue to who is who.
A reader asks how many dances to give a boy at a leap year dance and whether pearly earrings look coarse. The columnist suggests one dance every other song, says small earrings are fine, and urges explaining boundaries kindly if asked for a kiss.
A practical note urges every girl to keep an emergency needle cushion in her work basket. It should hold a threaded needle in every color matching the possible waists or frocks, ready for quick repairs when a hook and eye are missing or a small tear appears.
A compact folding table sits flat against a wall when closed and opens to a broad surface suitable for tea, cards, or writing. A hidden center hinge reveals two lids. one side stores sewing supplies, the other houses a writing desk setup with blotter, pen grooves, ink wells, and paste wells.
The Dry Goods Economist notes fall dress lines feature pleated skirts that are straight and narrow. Some samples show pleats extending to the waist while others have pleated panels or deep pleated flounces. When pleats reach only to the knees a modified panier drapery finishes the upper skirt.
To wash blankets, dissolve two large tablespoonfuls of borax and one pint of soft soap in a tub of cold water. Soak blankets overnight, then rub them out and rinse in two waters, and hang to dry without wringing.
An overview of the pressure tank water supply system for a suburban or rural home. It describes a rain-water cistern source, an upright pressure tank, and a hand or power pump, with air pressure driving water to basements, kitchens, baths, and outdoor uses. The article notes Boyle's law in action, typical pressures, gauges, and possibilities for automatic regulation and expansion.
Last year's agricultural output valued at 9.0 billion dollars to farmers. With one third kept for household use, consumers paid over 13.0 billion for what producers received 6.0 billion. Getting the year's goods to markets cost 7.0 billion. The piece argues the real problem is not high costs but other factors.
The article describes fattening fowls by confining geese and other birds in a darkened room with occasional light. Farmers believe this method makes birds think it is many mornings, prompting them to eat six or seven times daily.
Experiments with an Italian cock and Italian and Wyandotte hens show eggs laid six days after mating remained fertile. Fresher eggs yielded more reliable incubation results. Hatching quality varied with the season.
The passage argues against buying to appease an agent, noting you lose money and your ability to refuse in the process. It emphasizes preserving personal choice and warns that yielding to pressure erodes agency and financial resources.
Live stock maintenance is unprofitable in only a few localities, with many areas deemed unsuitable for profitable farming. Officials advise caution and market analysis before investment.
B F Yoakum chairman of the St. Louis and San Francisco Railroad notes that the cost of living is high and criticizes price levels as part of a broader economic discussion.
Salting is described as a key skill in traditional butter making, requiring artistry to determine the proper amount and method.
A balanced ration is praised for nourishment while balanced judgment is urged for fair handling. The saying links prudent diet with thoughtful decision making, stressing steadiness and measured consideration in both sustenance and justice.
A cynical young man on a Washington streetcar comments on a collar advertisement depicting the Capitol dome with price placards reading Quarter size and Two for a quarter. He remarks that the display expresses his opinion of some congressmen.
The remark cites Keone Gana Wakely-Whirly as earning a large income and notes the speaker believes he earns more than his wife can spend. The comment treats wealth as a point of public interest.
A New York congressman and his wife were announced as The Honorable and Mrs. Congressman Blank, while the master of ceremonies introduced a couple as Mr. and Mrs. Inspector of Hydrants Faucets and Shopworks Casey. The event featured municipal officers and new members of the club.
Commentary questions where justice begins in power versus suffering. It argues both sides fixate on exact dues rather than doing what is just and right. It cites the refrain Pay what thou owest and a call to address owed duties and fair conduct.
The article warns against forcing children to endure darkness as it may harm their nervous system and cause lasting fright. It urges mothers to provide light when a child asks and to avoid exposing them to fearful shadows.
A Washington Star quip recalls a man taking his wife to a baseball game. She enjoyed part of it noting the many laps around the lot, while finding the umpire’s arguments more engaging.
A physician describes using Postum in his family and recommending it to patients to replace coffee, citing improved digestion and nervous symptoms. He notes grocers stocking it and reports wide adoption in town. The letter, attributed to the Postum Co. of Battle Creek, ends with an appeal to readers.
A Scottville mother of thirteen credits Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound and Sonotive Wash with sustaining her health and vigor despite hard farm work. She notes it helps her daughter with painful periods and irregularity and recommends the remedy to others as a safe effective women’s medicine.
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