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Newspaper
Whitewright Sun
Location
Whitewright, Texas, United States of America
Date
Dec 11, 1947
Page
6
A collection of quick quips about wedding postponements, golf Saturdays, shop talks on car pricing, and a humorous telephone call where a father covers for his son’s absence. The snippets showcase light social banter and commuter humor from a vintage mood.
A short humorous tale where a dead mink in heaven asks St. Peter for a coat made from chorus girls. St. Peter admits no minks have been there before and grants the wish. The request highlights whimsy and incongruity in a celestial setting.
A city man tells a farmer he has plenty of food and shelter. The farmer responds that in a few months he will be the fattest, sleekest, nakedest farmer you ever saw.
Tommy returns to school after several days away with a sore throat, a red flannel bound around his neck. He presents a note asking that he not be taught any more French because he can hardly speak English.
A professor reads a note from his daughter who has run away with an officer. His wife remarks that eloping with a nice officer is not surprising, then gasps at the misspelling eloped with two I's, revealing the humorous tone of the scene.
A Sunday School teacher recaps Elijah’s altar ritual with wood and a cut bullock. He notes four barrels of water poured over the altar four times. A lad asks why the water was poured on the sacrifice and quips that it was to make the gravy.
A beggar pleads for five cents and explains his downfall after a former motto on his desk was burned by a scrub lady. He claims prosperity followed constructive thinking until disaster struck, leaving him asking for coffee money. The tale lands as a humorous moral about misfortune and memory.
President Charles W. Eliot of Harvard University recounted the most unusual letter he ever received from a club woman. The note asked him to think up a name for their new club, describing him as the country’s greatest thinker and requesting assistance.
The Veterans Administration will stop accepting prima facie evidence as proof of service connection for medical and dental treatment after December 31, 1947. Veterans have one year after the president’s end of hostilities announcement to seek treatment on presumed service connection. Examinations for registration officers in Texas, Louisiana, and Mississippi have been opened by the Civil Service Commission with salaries from 3397 to 7102 per year.
A traditional claim holds that flowers stay fresher longer when arranged in copper vases or with copper strips or crystals. The idea rests on copper’s reputed antimicrobial properties and effects on wilting, though practical results may vary by flower type and environment.
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