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Newspaper
The Rittman Press
Location
Rittman, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Dec 10, 1913
Page
12
A historical school examination packet lists arithmetic, geography, grammar, theory and practice, agriculture, orthography, writing, physiology, literature, and U.S. history questions. It includes problems on land area, costs, law, and classroom practices, with many specific items and sample prompts for December tests.
In a frosty farm house, Pa Schoonmaker and his wife coax Herbie toward sleep while brothers Petey and Normie craft a shadowy Santa Claus prop to renew the child's faith. The ruse succeeds as Herbie murmurs of seeing a Santa Claus before drifting back to restful dreams.
Readable lines evoke seasonal imagery with holly rosemary ivy and bay. A fragmentary verse references Christmas day and a light playful jab at gravity as folly.
A fragmented Christmas column expresses disbelief at Santa as a figure of commerce and misrule. The reader voices contempt for the season’s material overtones and laments the loss of genuine wonder.
The report highlights dairy cattle breeds including Shorthorn and special dairy stock sent in at coat price on long-time payments. It also notes Western Canada grain yields improving with wheat averaging 30 to 45 bushels per acre and other grains showing strong averages.
A butcher facing ruin from a rival shop finds hope in prayer after a minister suggests trying faith. He prays one night and the next morning the neighboring rival is said to have fallen ill or met a misfortune, reviving the butcher’s business and spirits.
A manager instructs a quick-lunch owner that checks can only be punched for 50 cents. The owner fumbles with sandwiches and meats. They call 6598 Hven Ingside, the nearest hospital, for a customer who eats more.
A playful line has one character asking about a barber and a hair restoration device. The other retorts with a pun about a bald pretense, delivering a lighthearted joke on grooming. The exchange emphasizes wit over detail and showcases newspaper humor style.
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