When the Umbrella Took Fire by Thomas Simpson
A Detroit iron man named Thomas Simpson sits with friends as a cigar smoker struggles to keep an enormous cigar lit. Simpson jokes about an umbrella catching fire, drawing laughter from the party.
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Newspaper
The Diller Record
Location
Diller, Nebraska, United States of America
Date
Sep 10, 1909
Page
3
A Detroit iron man named Thomas Simpson sits with friends as a cigar smoker struggles to keep an enormous cigar lit. Simpson jokes about an umbrella catching fire, drawing laughter from the party.
A mother describes a severe scald when boiling grease spilled on her baby beside a fender. After a doctor treated the wound, she credits Cuticura Ointment with full recovery in about five weeks, leaving no marks. The claim lists Mrs. Hare of South Shields England and a Boston company as context.
One of the world s largest official flag factories operates in the Brooklyn navy yard employing eighty to one hundred women year round. It uses about 120000 yards of hunting material annually and produces 418 distinct official flags. The operation costs about 90000 dollars each year.
The piece argues well painted homes command higher selling and living value. It promotes National Lead Company offering a free Houseowners' Painting Outfit No. 49 with color schemes, specs, and an adulteration detector, sent to requests at 1902 Trinity Building, New York City.
His daughter and father discuss a possible hand in marriage. The man Slowboy may propose tonight, though the daughter hints it is not yet certain.
The article extols Quaker Oats as a perfectly clean food aiding muscle and brain power. It notes the company's success in removing husks and specks and recommends reg or large family packs depending on proximity to a store.
Dr Frederick A Cook arrived in Copenhagen and met crowds at the harbor and city hall. He attended a royal reception, lunch with the American minister, and a palace audience before addressing Danish explorers who voiced strong support for his pole claim. Courts and officials offered congratulations as he faced questions from journalists.
Engineers and foremen arrive from Chicago with plans for a major expansion of the Havelock shops. Chief Engineer Darrow at Lincoln will arrange temporary material tracks as construction starts in a few days. About two hundred workers are expected to be employed, with a machine shop of 600 by 200 feet plus a foundry storehouse oil house and power house among new buildings.
Milwaukee reporters note that the national association of Bohemian Slavic benevolent societies wants one representative of that race honored by the United States. At its convention, F. J. Sadilek of Wilber Nebraska was voted to be sent to a foreign country as the American consul with a preference for Southern Europe. The group argues Bohemian Americans have long faced ridicule rather than recognition.
The White Steam Car team demonstrated kerosene as fuel during the 2650 mile Gidden Tour from Detroit to Denver to Kansas City under strict observer supervision and Pinkerton guards. The test claimed lower fuel cost, no smoke or odor, easy fuel access, and at least fifteen percent higher fuel efficiency than gasoline.
A mother directs her children and guests as Edith and Maude stage a improvised Hamlet and Ophelia in a parlor. Edith cheers while Maude raids for the mother’s clothing to complete the tableau.
A vintage ad demystifies home laundering claiming smooth starch yields proper stiffness without sticking to the iron. It contrasts primary and secondary interest and humorously notes a talkative wife can steal the floor, implying household wisdom and product utility.
A brief dialogue about fashion plates and labeling runs from a catalogue scene. A man notes the language mirrors Fig 1 and Fig 2, while his Wife asks for clarification, hinting at lingering formal descriptions in style references.
A garbled selection of quotes and adage fragments cites frugal speech clean living and happiness as not stagnating energy. It touches on health indulgence dieting temperance and a note on crossbred dogs, ending with a quip about a guilty conscience.
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