Bare Synopsis Requests Short Haircut to End
A tired editor asks for a bare synopsis as the barber begins cutting his hair. The barber teases a story about a man, prompting the editor to request a concise summary.
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Newspaper
The Clermont Courier
Location
Batavia, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Jan 05, 1916
Page
7
A tired editor asks for a bare synopsis as the barber begins cutting his hair. The barber teases a story about a man, prompting the editor to request a concise summary.
Advice recommends light, top to bottom application for cuts and sores with Hanford's Balsam. A car trouble anecdote notes a sheriff's incident and a wife’s copious tears as the vehicle was attached.
Historic ad copy touts Mother Gray's Powder as a cure for colds feverishness headaches stomach troubles teething disorders and worm relief. Claims 38 years use by mothers and lists Le Roy New York address with sample free and price 25 cents at druggists.
The United States imported 27,562,361 pounds of black and white pepper last year, valued at $2,852,665. The data reflects a substantial trade in spices with steady demand across the market.
A home remedy claim states Vicks Vap-O-Rub eased croup in minutes by topical application on the throat and chest. It markets in 250 500 or 1.00 sizes and promises sedate, restful sleep for children.
The 1915 business survey notes a broad trade revival in Manitoba Saskatchewan and Alberta. Farmers report record crops worth over 400 million dollars and western cities show strong bank clearings and high grain shipments. Western Canada ends 1915 with optimistic prosperity and a forward program for 1916.
Auntie tells Nellie to show independence now that she is engaged to George and to sit on him at times. Nellie concedes she does so when they are alone, prompting Auntie to gasp at the bold exchange.
Trial free. Precede shampoo by Cuticura Ointment for dandruff itching and scalp irritation. Nothing better for complexion hair hands skin than these emollients. Also toilet preparations. Free sample by mail with Book. Address postcard Cuturius Dept. L Boston Sold everywhere.
A witty exchange contrasts cynicism about feminine facts with derision toward the claim of carrying dogs. The dialogue highlights gendered attitudes and humor rooted in social expectations.
Druggists refund money if PAZO OINTMENT fails to cure itching bleeding or protruding piles. First application gives relief. About 2 750 000 acres of land in Great Britain are devoted to woods and forests.
A sensational ad-style notice promotes Anuric from Dr. Pierce of Buffalo as superior at eliminating uric acid. It claims strong results for acute rheumatism gout and gravel, urges readers to buy a 50 cent package or request larger trials, and offers free testing of water and symptoms.
Paris reports the Ville de la Ciotat, a 6,390 ton French liner, torpedoed in the Mediterranean on December 24 with 80 dead. No Americans aboard. British Moss line survivors rescued. Other vessels sunk include the Port Said, Yeddo, Ministe Beernaert, Cottingham, and Hadley. Archangel rumors concern the big liner Arianza. Starlings in Tasmania also blamed for crop damage amid drought.
Berlin reports official admission that French forces penetrated German trenches at Hartmannsweiler Kopf in the Vosges. French attacks at Hirzstein failed under German fire. two night assaults at Hartmannsweiler Kopf succeeded in gaining trench sections with five French officers and 200 men captured or prisoners. Balkan front added no notable reports.
The 20 round Willard versus Fulton heavyweight title fight set for March 4 in New Orleans was officially scrapped. Promoters Tom Jones and Tommy Burns announced the cancellation after ongoing wrangling with Dominick J. Tortorich as partner in promoting the event.
Zurich reports Emperor William’s throat abscess causing a suppurating phlegm has relieved after doctors lanced the neck. Berlin dispatch notes improvement and continued care for the German ruler.
The Swedish minister told the U S state department that Norway mails detained by Great Britain from Christiania have been allowed to proceed. The packages, mostly parcel post, were not opened.
Advertorial claiming Jad Salts cleanses sluggish kidneys, relieves backache and headaches, neutralizes urine acids, and prevents bladder disorders. Promotes a daily tablespoon in water, praises harmlessness and low cost, cites a local pharmacist endorsing use for kidney trouble.
A mother questions her nine year old son about a fruit cake. Jimmy reveals he gave the cake to the teacher as a treat, and confirms the teacher ate it, noting she was absent from school.
A vintage drug advertisement urges parents to switch from harsh purgatives to California Syrup of Figs for children's stomachs and bowels. It asserts the syrup cleanses the liver and bowels gently, is loved by children, and comes with directions for all ages on a 50 cent bottle.
A terse exchange reveals a debtor, “Jimmers touny,” in poor health. One speaker notes the other owes ten dollars for six years, implying impending consequences and a tense, fading situation.
A vintage ad claims tired eyes age you and urges readers to avoid telling their age. It promotes Marine Eye Remedy Co of Kago offering an eye book on request to keep a youthful appearance.
A fragmentary exchange questions responsibility over a matter and mentions Bal Sam as a frostbite remedy. The text hints that a clever thief covers errors to direct blame onto someone else, reflecting a theme of deception and misattribution.
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