Watermelon Patch Guarded by Poison Sign Tale
A farmer facing repeated melon raids posted a roadside sign claiming six melons are full of strychnine and only he knows which ones. The unusual warning aimed at deterring thieves and securing immunity.
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This newspaper page contains 22 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Polk Progress
Location
Polk, Nebraska, United States of America
Date
Oct 30, 1919
Page
3
Scarce Diamonds Echo Across Wartime Years
Quote exchange recalls prewar abundance of black diamonds in a cellar as the speaker notes how scarce such gems have become amid recent times. The dialogue hints at nostalgia for a vanished era and the impact of conflict on treasured items.
Cost of Politeness in Telephone Chats
A humorous exchange questions whether politeness costs time. The speaker argues that saying please to a telephone operator wastes time while another asserts politeness costs nothing and offers a retort about articulation.
Nonprofessional Talk Exchange Aboard Quiet Street
A brief dialogue shows a patient asking the doctor to speak in a nonprofessional capacity. The doctor hesitates then agrees, noting the informal tone while a humorous line about the clinician’s coat tails catching fire is delivered.
Castoria Promise for Infants Against Narcotics
A 19th or early 20th century warning touts Castoria as a safe remedy for infants, claims narcotics in many drops and syrups cause deaths, and asserts Castoria with the Fletcher signature contains no opiates. It emphasizes high infant mortality and promotes Castoria as a safe alternative endorsed by the pharmacy line.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chas. H. Fletcher
Cigarette Paper Ban Reaches Greek Parcel Post
Official notice warns against mailing cigarette papers to Greece, citing prohibition via parcel post to the Greek postal regions including Macedonia Mpiros Samos the Aegean islands and Crete. The benighted note contrasts shopping chatter with hotel price inquiries as daily learning.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Greece
Macedonia
Mpiros
Samos
Aegean Sea
Crete
Wise Oyster Metaphor Warns of Ptomaines
A compact proverb notes that even a world thought to be an oyster can harbor unseen dangers such as ptomaines, urging caution in handling and consumption.
It’s Your Kidneys Not Your Heart Warned
A health warning on kidney disease promotes GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules as a cure. The ad claims kidneys filter blood and that taking the oil helps inflammation, germs, and overall vigor within 24 hours, urging daily use to prevent further attacks.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Nature
Simply Left It to Tom
A Philadelphia mother admits forgetfulness in a tale about giving a sick boy medicine. She set hours but made Tom wait by telling him he did not want to take it, revealing a humorous misstep in household medical routines.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Philadelphia
Tom
The
Pete
No Inducement Whatever
A quip about I W W members contrasts a character who misreads the initials. The dialogue implies a private bomb factory and fourteen hour workdays as the association’s action after a defection.
Harvard Endowment Drive Prompted by Want for Liver
In Boston a Harvard campaign tale features President Lowell and two businessmen debating the fund. Asked how much is desired, Lowell likens the request to a girl at a butcher counter who says she wants a limousine but her mother wants ten cents worth of liver.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Boston
Harvard
Harvard Endowment Fund
Lowell
Carpet Bagger Term Defined in Political Venturers
A historical note explains the label carpet bagger as a political adventurer who travels across the country pandering to ignorant voters to gain office. The term arose from the idea he carries only enough belongings to fill a carpet bag.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
America
Wilson Urges Red Cross Roll Call for Peace Time
President Wilson issues a message urging a generous response to the Third Red Cross Roll Call opening November second and closing November eleventh, stressing membership over money and calling for continued relief work at home and abroad to finish war efforts and build peace. The plan seeks to expand domestic welfare and support eastern Europe while retiring from overseas aid when appropriate. WOODROW WILSON.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington, D. C
Wilson
United States
Red Cross
American Red Cross
National Red Cross
Europe
Congress of the
Secretary of War
Woodrow Wilson
Two Mules Refuse to Move on Mission Road
A colored man driving a mule hitched to a junk wagon on Mission road could not budge the stubborn animal. After half an hour of persuasion with a shovel handle and rough methods, the mule remained glued to the road while a nearby cop teased him about selling the mule for an auto.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mission Road
Darky
American Association of China forms Foochow branch
The Foochow branch of the American Association of China is formed to protect American commercial interests expanding in the Foochow consular district. It will replace the local American chamber of commerce due to the small number of Americans to sustain a chamber.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
China
Foochow
American Association of China
Foochow Consular
American Chamber of Commerce
Chamber of Commerce
Grocer Replies He Won’t Pay Before Speaking
A rough auditor asks if a tomato would be thrown at the speaker. The grocer answers no, not unless the speaker paid for it in advance.
Telegram brings ironic note at Cripple Creek wedding
A telegram arrived during the wedding supper in Cripple Creek Colorado. The best man read a message from the bride's two former husbands wishing better luck than theirs. The bride's marriages are noted as divorced.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cripple Creek
Colo
Tere
Chicago Tribune
Shake speare heaven question and fragrance ad mix
An old advertisement for Cuticura products promotes a skin care routine with Ointment Soap and Lotion, then shifts to a joke about asking Shakespeare in heaven. The text includes a notarized statement by Frank J. Cheney and a testimonial offer of one hundred dollars for a catarrh cure, attributed to Hall's Catarrh Medicine.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
State of Ohio
Toledo
Lucas County
Frank J. Cheney
F. J. Cheney & Co
Hall
A. D
A. W. Gleason
BB. J. Cheney & Co
Ohio
A Practical Man
A self made millionaire discounts art and values money over prestige. A dealer calls a painting cheap at forty thousand dollars, while the man questions the meaning of art and mocks paying ten thousand dollars per foot for canvas by an old distant artist. The exchange appears in the Birmingham Age Herald.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Birmingham Age-Herald
California Fig Syrup Ad Laxative Warning
An old advertisement promotes California Fig Syrup as a child laxative and stomach cleanser. It urges parents to ensure the package bears the name California and notes a fruity taste and full directions on each bottle. The ad ends with a motherly exhortation and a tongue sandwich joke.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
California
Clockmaker’s Sycophant Serves Time
A witty exchange notes a clockmaker who appears obsequious, with a quip that he must be a timeserver to stay in business. The bit treats the relationship between service and timekeeping in a light, humorous tone.
A Gentle Laxative Claim in Vintage Ad Tone
An old advertisement touts Cancarets as a gentle laxative cathartic that cleanses liver and bowels without gripes or harsh aftereffects. It promises relief from biliousness headaches and sour stomach and claims benefits for busy people as work success grows with more help.
Also Mentioned on This Page
Mother
Harvard University
Postum Cereal Co
Battle Creek
Mich
Shakespeare
Jon
Ladies’ Home Journal
England
Irginia
Dexter Park Ave
Chicago
Parker
Ox Chem
Patchorus
N.Y
Hiscox Chemica
D. 0
Watson FE
Coleman
Washington
Dra
Dr. C Cony
Michigan Ave
J. Roberts
Holdregs
Nek
Lingoln
Freemont
Lydia E. Pinkham
M. GoppEn
Napoleon St
Fremont
North Haven
Conn
Lydia & Pinkham
Elsa
Box 197
Lydia E. Pinkhams
Lydia E.pinkham
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