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This newspaper page contains 17 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Newberg Graphic
Location
Newberg, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Sep 05, 1912
Page
6
A toastmaster introduces a fresh speaker whose tale falls flat as the crowd recalls a familiar joke about horseradish and a grandmother. Laughter erupts when the old, known story surfaces, prompting the speaker to realize audiences crave recognizable humor. The anecdote traces to a 1525 tale collection cited in the Chicago Post via Benedick and Beatrice.
The firm claims to be the best equipped in Newberg for turning out high class printing at the lowest prices. They invite estimates on any printing job from visiting cards to large books or posters and state no job is too large or too small to handle.
Holman Day recounts a disputed claim over Grand Manan and Campobello, arguing the Maine Yankee pressed claims since the Ashburton treaty. The piece recalls alleged tricks by American commissioners and asserts New Brunswick held Campobello and Grand Manan.
The text notes a Greek word from Aristophanes said to be 170 letters long, beginning "lepadote machose la chogaleo," invented for a comic dish containing fish flesh fowl and sauces. A translation offered is hash.
Uncle Bill Abbott hints at feeding time antics by Si Perkins, suggesting he relies on others to call hogs for a response. The general store crowd weighs Perkins credibility while recording the amusing exchange.
A courtroom moment features a witness declaring a man is gone. The judge asks for his location and the response notes the man’s duty to attend. The exchange ends with the revelation that the man is dead, as referenced in a humor piece.
A Naples performance of Mose In Egitto featured a controversial Red Sea prayer. Tottola claimed to have written it in an hour prompting Rossini to compose the music in ten minutes. The new prayer transformed the audience from laughter to rapt attention and enduring acclaim.
A sessional golfer recounts a Scotland tale where two professionals compete as one loses a ball in tall grass. After nearly half an hour the other claims the ball, offers a foregone hole, and then reveals a ball from his pocket, accusing the rival of deceit.
The article discusses the complexity of dream study in mental philosophy and notes Sir William Hamilton's view that people always dream whether they remember them or not. It argues that lack of memory does not prove absence of dreaming and mentions methods to show dreams occur without recall.
A candle flickers above a stairway and a deep voice calls from shadows. A girl denies anyone being below and blames a neighbor next door. The parlor voice scolds about shaving as another figure jokes about a visit.
An old man finishing a shave offers to shave the boy Charlie who refuses saying his whiskers are not ripe yet. The line is reported by the Denver Republic.
A London suit was postponed when counsel requested more prep time amid a crowded courtroom. After the defendant left, a firm member warned of consequences if released, prompting a later courtroom hustle. the case was dismissed as a ruse to draw customers. A French balloon disaster profits tale followed, with a coat saved by a hook, then hung in windows. A Welsh miller’s Guinea reward ad boosted sales, per New York Tribune.
A Philadelphia lawyer teases a junior colleague over a cited case, only to discover no record of Jarndyce versus Jarndyce exists in Pennsylvania reports, prompting confusion over the reference. The exchange reveals the difficulty of recalling obscure authorities.
A rat caught on board a ship is cast into the sea and attacks a seagull. After killing the bird in a tense tussle the rodent uses the seagull as a sail and uses a wing as an oar to steer a makeshift craft. The New York Journal notes the amusing tale with the exclamation Rats.
A man rushes into a barber shop and asks for a fast shave. The barber discovers the customer has a patched, partial shave and jokes about the unsuccessful prior barber. The patron defends his choice, saying he is not a barber, hence seeking professional help now.
The actor William H. Crane recalled a west coast stunt where he played Hamlet and, when fans urged him to take a serious role, he joked that the audience would call him by shouting Call me. The anecdote shows his quick wit in a playful exchange with admirers.
Oregon Agricultural College invites applicants as the fall term begins September 20 with a wide catalog of courses across farming, engineering, sciences, arts, education and military training. Catalogue and illustrated literature are mailed free by the registrar in Corvallis Oregon.
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