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Newspaper
Newberg Graphic
Location
Newberg, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Feb 27, 1913
Page
8
Story of Frederick II of Prussia gifting a snuffbox with an ass portrait. The count secretly replaced it with the king’s likeness, while guests praised the portrait during a meal. The ruse exposed, the prank bounced back to the king as guests admired the supposed likeness.
A Flemish man calculated his fortune to last his life exactly until his death. He died on his predicted date leaving only a pair of slippers as estate. Relatives buried him and carved a slipper on the tomb with the words Effen Nyt meaning Exactly at an Amsterdam churchyard.
Camp Meeting John Allen a Maine Methodist minister, famed for sharp quips. In Lewiston he faced several young men seeking mischief who asked who was the devil's grandmother. His quick reply framed the family record with humor.
A humorous debate on love defines a man in love as feeling pain tearing a partner’s notes. Another says true love arrives when he stops imagining heroines and starts wanting real likenesses. Metropolitan style witticisms punctuate the excerpt.
An American judge famed for never speaking ill of the army was challenged by a lawyer friend to admit fault in someone. When asked about a troublesome figure, the judge paused and proclaimed with gusto that the man had the finest whiskers he ever saw grown in Missouri, leaving the interrogator perplexed.
Captain John Theaker of the Earl of Eldon mimicked a shipboard fire to test passengers and boats as a prank then genuine blaze followed. With a northeast monsoon preventing a return to port, the crew prepared, boats launched, and after an explosion the voyage continued. All passengers were eventually landed safely after fourteen days at sea.
An autograph catalog prints a condolence note from Duchesse d Abrantes on Victor Hugo's first failed bid for the French academy. She notes Chateaubriand and others spoke with indignation, saying Hugo was too talented for the academy. Hugo later won election.
A pair of guests at an upscale seaside resort reveal they were dragged to the stay by their wives who cited visiting rivals. Both men admit they cannot afford the trip yet humorously discover their spouses planned it for the Smithsons and Brownsons arriving, ending with an unexpected handshake.
Artemus Ward, at peak fame, received a telegram from Tom Maguire asking his price for fifty California nights. Ward’s curt reply was Brandy and water. Maguire requested clarification and received a thirty word, $16.50 explanation by mail.
In a playful London Answers item a mother-teased exchange centers on gas use and a witty remark about economizing. The daughter defends cutting gas, noting a rise in ure when gas is shut off, prompting a humorous rejoinder about waist size.
Independance Belge profiles Mme Sadi Carnot noting her youth marriage to engineer Carnot, her nonpolitical stance, and tactful influence. It cites one request for postage stamps, her charity donation after his death, sale of state jewels, and her refusal to accept a pension.
Sir Ray Lankester questions the chin's purpose calling it useless while Dr. Forbes Ross suggests it marks a shift from browsing to erect teeth. He argues a strong lower jaw signals a departure from ruminants and implies a stronger character, noting primitive humans often lacked a defined chin.
The passage notes how patronymics evolve through trimming letters and adopting Celtic forms. James Halfpenny becomes James Halpen, then Kenneth McAlpin after removing bh and embracing Celtic style, showing how family fortunes and social perception influenced name changes.
A printed anecdote recounts How the Iron Duke Wellington met Tom Thumb in a public revue. Wellington called the little general, who impersonated Napoleon Bonaparte, marching on stage and meditating on Waterloo. Barnum’s Life is cited.
Art dealers at picture sales share a curt phrase when bidding sinks below expectations. The comment Its on the rocks already signals an imminent wreck, a common outcome in such auctions as sales stall and prices drop.
A conversation at Mary’s home reveals a caller named Mr Biggs who visited to see her associate, leaving Mary puzzled by the unfamiliar name and the purpose of the visit.
In a lively exchange, She expresses gratitude and hesitation, noting Jack's proposal places her on equal footing with Kitty Cobb, who previously led their circle as the most popular girl in Boston society.
A lighthearted note describes Aunt I and her two nieces at a concert where yawns tempt, Ida shields with a fan, Olga claims a larger one, and the scene captures playful family banter in a quiet moment.
Hair switches priced from 75 cents and up and matching hair offered. Drop card or call Mrs F M Tewksbury 109 Meridian Street. Also a for rent 8 room house at 16-11 Forrent with city water well water electric lights barn chicken house cow pasture fruit and 2% acres inquire 607 Blaine Street. Old fashioned spelling school at Baptist church March 6 8pm prizes candy ice cream cake admission 10c. Eggs for hatching White Leghorns Tancred strain, with young chicks and Philo Cycle incubators for sale by J T Everest.
For Sale good second hand range offered by C A Keeney contact Blue 139. Also For Sale Fair Maples estate of 5 acres of Italian prunes 1% acres of apples and assorted fruits including peaches pears cherries plums berries and grapes with buildings and water system located 1 mile north of Dundee and 1% miles west of Newberg offered by J Watson Baker.
Residents wishing their young children to attend kindergarten should mail the child names and addresses to Mrs Hurlston box 525 Newberg before March 5 1913.
The Newberg Applegrowers Union will meet in Commercial Club rooms on Saturday March 1 at 2 oclock. Members are urged to attend by President J D Gordon and Secretary J H Rees.
For Sale or Trade listed by J. O. Lyon at Tenth and Pacific streets offers a team wagon harness and carriage in exchange for tows or city property. Also small house near mill for rent. tf
For sale a No 2 Simplex Cream Separator priced at 15 dollars and a bay mare weighing about 1050 pounds. The mare can be driven single or double. See C F Shhelly’s place on Chehalem Mountain. Inquiries to C E Skelton four miles north of Newberg on Chehalem Mountain.
A public auction will be held Friday March 7 at 1 30 PM at 200 School Street selling household and kitchen furniture including dining set rugs range rockers hall rack phonograph and other articles. Terms announced day of sale. Auctioneers N R Oliver and W A Westfall.
Advertisement by Edmund Seuu offering to close out stock of headstones and monuments at cost with payment terms. Also lists a 50 foot lot on First Street with a five room house for 1600 dollars. Urges quick action as a large sacrifice and bargain for a lucky buyer.
Property listings describe 150 acres dairy ranch with house three barns orchard and well water one mile from school and five miles from town priced at 30 dollars per acre with 1500 dollars cash and five years on rest. Also 17 acres with 16 in cultivation old house bearing orchard 8000 strawberries two and a half miles to town R F D telephone line near school price 150 dollars per acre 300 cash and balance five years.
Library ledger shows February expenses totaling 60.47 with items for librarian wages daily dailies and freight. Book loans rose to 1326 in February 1913 up from 925 in January 1913 while 1912 figures show 905 loans in February and 431 in January.
Real estate notice offers cash purchases on eastern land dairy ranches on the Coast Mountains. Promises good wheat land with buildings and ample water. Also presents a short term option at 11 dollars an acre. Visit the office for particulars.
Eggs for hatching from Buff stock are as good as the best and ready for producers. E. H. Woodward notes eggs are prepared for table and farm use.
Newberg Iron Works offers cash for old cast iron and castings brought to their shop at 6th and Blaine streets. tf
The Socialist local of Newberg announces a Tuesday evening economics class at 605% First Street after the local business sale. Prof Launer will teach and Bullock's Elements of Economics is the chosen text. Tuition free.
On Saturday March 8 at 2 PM on First street near Main a public auction will sell Holstein cows some fresh and soon fresh 1 horse 1 wagon 12 dozen chickens 2 feed cutters 1 Faultless stump puller 150 feet wire cable size 5g 1 plow 1 cultivator heavy harness hay wood rack 8 milk testers milk cans grindstone bells and more Terms under $10 cash and bankable notes above $10 J Ke lver Westfall Auctioneer
Laura B Hardwick is named administratrix of the estate of F T Keyes deceased by the County Court order dated January 50 1918. Creditors must present verified claims within six months from first publication by mail to Laura B Hardwick Newberg Oregon. First published February 20 1915 in the Newberg Green.
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