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This newspaper page contains 7 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Mitchell Capital
Location
Mitchell, South Dakota, United States of America
Date
Jun 30, 1899
Page
8
A collage of light anecdotes and quips from various papers shows satirical takes on marriage, work, travel, and society. It features lines about sleep walking husbands, fortune telling brides, a man admiring a partner’s city diamond acumen, and playful barbs at fame and ambition, all in a late 19th or early 20th century tone.
A children’s column shares whimsical verses about a Rock-a-bye boat from Plas to Shimberland guided by a mother, with fare for the poorest child. It also narrates a Yokohama consul’s family picnic with acrobats, a Paris boy king of Yvetot, bee sting remedies, a cat guarding 13 ducklings, a boy named James recalling a golden text, and short vignettes from Harper’s Bazar and a circus memory about condensed horses.
A mother asks why her child Johnny wants to wake the baby. The three year old explains he aims to hear the infant cry loudly enough to drown out the sound of his new drum.
A slate of innovations includes an improved razor strap with adjustable belt plates and a curved shaft, a burglar alarm using a door mounted clock mechanism and a trip chain, an auto cooling water tower with perforated pipes and a fan driven by water jet, and a disappearing bicycle package holder. Other ideas cover hat brim grips, a front trunk hinge, a wind indicator for clocks, adjustable teeth rings for a device from Minnesota, a draft free lamp with base fan and wick tube, and a remark on law and order.
A jumbled collection of extended anecdotes features Spurgeon’s coughing sermon moment, tales of Geneva and Lake Leman misreferences, regimental curiosities, Lord Elgin’s riding, Archbishop Whately’s leaf, a Baltimore high church rift, a West End stock port wall, and Professor Packard’s persimmon misadventure.
A discussion on traditional Porto Rican coffee production outlines primitive methods from hand picking to sun drying and mule transport. The piece notes wage limits and seasonal labor, and forecasts American investment boosting exports to the United States. It then explains how Nassau Hall at Princeton was named after Gov. Jonathan Belcher declined by the governor to honor King William III.
A humorous verse from the Detroit Free Press celebrates nautical puns and romance with ship related wordplay. It juxtaposes lovers and vessels in a playful, creaky maritime pun set. A second note cites a French naturalist claiming humanity would perish without birds within nine years.
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