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Newspaper
Mitchell Capital
Location
Mitchell, South Dakota, United States of America
Date
Dec 09, 1898
Page
10
A reflective poem recalls a seaside room and a hymn that awakens childhood memories. Then figures note massive Cobra usage by the U.S. government for printing money and stamps, and a literacy stat for Constantinople women, highlighting contrast between memory and modern metrics.
In an office of the customs ap praiser, a shipment of Chinese medicines filled the air with foul smells. The crates contained dried snakes, plump lizards on rods, sea horses, flattened centipeds, pulliwogs, angleworms, and various pills and roots. The odor proved strong enough to make several workers nauseous, while observers joked about the medicines’ alleged potencies.
Indifferent youth S stackpole faints at a party, gasping for breath on stairs. He rouses, demands what attack, then dashes to the coatroom. A carpet tack, left upright on the stairs, is blamed for his collapse in this Cleveland Plain Dealer recount.
Dickens loved his large white cat Williamina who kept bringing her kittens to his study. After many removals one kitten stayed and followed Dickens like a dog while he wrote. One night the candle went out and the kitten patted the flame to bring attention and petting.
A Georgia court case noted for absurdity sees lawyers move to delay a jackass matter. Judge orders the contempt fine of one dollar each on the movants, deeming the motion ridiculous and unworthy, with the court warning further penalties.
A witty fragment features a young boarder calling the minister and the policeman inseparable adjuncts of civilization. A cheerful fool adds that they are alike, one being a psirer and the other a peeter, in a jocular exchange set in a Jundianapolis style.
The Washington Star describes Panbesa’s greeting to Amenemapt and a vivid portrait of Ram esse s I era Pa Rameses life. The fragmentary papyrus, oldest letter, preserved in the British Museum, portrays verdant fields markets wine music and festive maidens in a pleasant city.
W F Bailey notes in The Century that dangers were real yet fatalities were less common among riders than station staff. Indian attacks killed more nonriders. horses chosen for riders proved superior. One rider's Nebraska death involved a bridled pony and mail transfer. Ambush risk was reduced by route design. many riders were shot by vigilantes who mistook them for Indians. Indians seldom harmed riders unless they understood them.
Henry M. Stanley recounts his dangerous march through African forests where the Wambutti dwarfs emerged as thedeadliest foe. Using bow and poisoned arrows and ambushes, they also dug hidden ditches and spike traps laced with poison, sometimes mixed with honey, to kill men and elephants.
The excerpt defines paying through the nose as paying an exorbitant price or being cheated in a long credit deal. It cites Henry VII and Life of T. Cromwell to illustrate bores me with tricks and being gulled. It notes 17th century references to forged manuscripts sold to travelers and Englishmen deceived by similar schemes.
Theaters in Spain show no programmes and actors are often unnamed. Lobbies feature a bill with few details while ads fill the curtain space. In Madrid, advertising cards are posted and seat numbers appear on their backs.
The Svantians, living in a secluded range between the Black and Caspian seas, are described as among the laziest people on earth. They have shown no civilizational progress in 2,500 years and allegedly observe holidays four times weekly with saints' days as extras.
A prominent physician tells a Washington Star reporter that departmental headaches are common among clerks and can be eased by a rubber band worn loosely around the head just above the ears. The band should not restrict blood flow and is best applied when symptoms begin and removed when pain ends. He notes the method may also relieve toe corn pain when humidity increases.
The article recalls Argelander as Germany’s premier observational astronomer and praises his wit per Professor Simon Newcomb. It includes a humorous Gould anecdote about hair and baldness, then a tale of mistaken umbrella envy on a stormy day, and ends with a cheerful tale of an ex-sea captain turned antipodean truth teller who rises to rulership on a Pacific island through Orpheus-like music and cunning.
A travel writer recounts insect encounters in British Guiana with cautious humor. A tale describes a woman feeling something crawling on her shoulder during dressing, screaming for her husband who swats a centipede before it bites her neck, a line read as perhaps exaggerated.
A Theosophist resigns saying a tenant left without paying rent and promised future settlement. The other Theosophist questions the matter as the exchange turns to humorous reflection on past esoteric beliefs and tenants.
A collage of humor and social commentary from early 20th century papers. It contrasts urban street life depictions with tales of romance and domestic wit, including a Chicago Times-Herald critique and a Kansas City Journal skit about ready wit and shy romance, plus a note on protecting portrait miniatures from sunlight.
A judge awoke to find two armed burglars in his room and watched the proceedings in calm fashion. One burglar claims the judge’s watch as a keepsake, and the judge’s motion is overruled. The burglars declare an appeal, and the Supreme court is said to unanimously sustain the lower court.
A London FigarO anecdote describes a proud old lady challenging a non smoking railway carriage at York station. A schoolboy lounges half out of the compartment puffing on a cigarette while the polite porter directs her to a smoking area lower down.
A San Francisco Chronicle note describes Siwash dogs as highly valued for Prospect travel, noting their water-hazard harnessing skills and quiet, loyal nature. Teams of six dogs per side often trigger rapid, chaotic moments until riders regain order with disciplined dogs.
A Chicago veteran politician faced a bribe allegation after a former henchman was accused of offering $500 for a job. The accused, dishonestly calm, defended his reputation while a bystander teased about paying such sums, highlighting the town’s scandal and reputational damage.
Mary KR Phillips recounts William Wetmore Story and James Lowell joining a crowd to hoot Webster at Faneuil Hall on September 50, 1842. Webster, in a striking pose, delivers an exordium that turns contempt into admiration, leaving Lowell pale and humbled before the audience of about 8,000.
A London Telegraph note describes Sir Joshua Reynolds hosting a Literary club with Johnson, Goldsmith, Garrick, Burke and Sterne. The painter, famed for witty banter, presided as guests debated Raphael and Correggio while Reynolds kept silent and allowed the talk to flow, despite crowded tables and scarce utensils.
A New York Press item notes two waiters at a hotel, one boastfully claiming a prestige position but the other takes pride in waiting. It details Boldt's pay, monthly salaries of 25 dollars plus 80 in winter, and daily tips averaging five dollars, totaling about 175 dollars monthly. It mentions free dining, modest expenses for dress, and the waiters’ perceived social status.
A Webster City Iowa farmer once hung his vest on a fence post. A milk cow later chewed the vest pocket, and a pocket watch was found years afterward lodged between the cow’s lungs. The watch remained wound, losing only four minutes over seven years due to respiration.
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