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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Madras Pioneer
Location
Madras, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Apr 30, 1908
Page
3
Advert provides testimonial style claim that Hood's Sarsaparilla cleanses blood and aids digestion and kidneys. Mentions improved appetite and vitality with cursory figures and two years of testimonials, though text is garbled.
A garbled extract mentions the Egyptian sphinx, a small value, and rennet with unclear context. It references speaking for the first and only Tai and asserts it wasn’t peculiar, though the meaning remains obscured.
A half back complains to his family about football head protection. His mother recalls a cousin who lost teeth. He defends himself claiming two weeks laid up after a kick to the nose, amid amid darker jokes.
In a morning paper Mrs Chugwater and Lim discuss a garbled line that appears to be out of order. Mr Chugwater explains the phrase is meaningless junk from a faulty line, a familiar newsroom mishap.
A Hungarian student who was pulled for a recent exam at Klausenburg shot himself while Grat winged an erate iner.
A collage of Punch comic dialogue and wry captions arrayed from Chicago Daily News Washington Star and Catholic Standard, featuring snippets on marriage jokes, equal rights, overcoats, and social satire. The passages sketch light city life, with characters like Mrs Woulliban and Mr Stubb providing the humor.
A New York Press piece recalls Gertrude watching lightning strike a telegraph wire during a thunderstorm and crying out to her mother about a falling piece from the sky. It also notes mothers favor Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup as a top teething remedy for children.
An odd item notes Vitor Dance and nervous diseases cured by Dr Kilne's Greene remedy with a call to obtain Fate 2triad bottle and treatment. The piece also references Prof Price presenting party viewpoints on tariffs and a Women’s Current Events Club meeting with a playful exchange about free trade.
A moralizer contrasts returning a lost jacketbook with the reluctance to surrender another man’s pocketbook. The demornalizer agrees that while returning a jacketbook is praised, keeping a found pocketbook is treated as a hard theft to resist.
An old promotional text asserts catarrh is constitutional and promotes Hall's Catarrh Cure from F J Cheney Co Toledo Ohio. It claims internal dosing, blood and mucous action, a $100 failure pledge, and circulation of testimonials plus a family laxative.
A caller tells editor Mr Clogston to stop her paper over pantry fit and editorial policy. A digger remarks on a diamond’s market value while a geography teacher tests students with a joke about the Great Divide and a watermelon.
The piece urges riders to wear wraps during spring and note early cold symptoms. It warns rapid car movement and shifting temperatures cause chills and colds, especially for those starting indoors and finishing outside. It advocates Peruna at first sign of symptoms to prevent extended illness.
A secretary of the Building Material Trades Council in Chicago endorses Peruna as highly effective for cold symptoms and catarrh. A Colorado mother reports her three year old’s cough improving after Peruna, and a Paterson, New Jersey resident commends its relief for colds and other ailments after using two bottles.
In a dialogue the writer and Naggus plan a happy ending by gathering all characters for a moonlit excursion cruise then blowing up the boat. The juxtaposition is echoed with a hunter’s boast about taming a legendary steed and cowboys stirring public fear to shape history.
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