Quick Wits in Funny Lines From Various Papers
A collage of quips and comic exchanges from Chicago Tribune Ohio State Journal Philadelphia Record and more. Bits feature banter on manners fire alarms lovers letters and marriage hints with playful misreadings and punchy one liners.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
McTartan
Koox
Nell
Chicago Tribune
Henry
Reach to Pekin Rail Link Report Sparks UK Action
The New Mongolian Branch of the Trans-Siberian Railroad may run from a Trans-Manchurian point near the Russo-Chinese frontier to Kalgan near the Great Wall. If true, the line would connect Pekin with Siberia via Kalgan, placing Kailar as a strategic military hub and potentially shifting regional power dynamics with China and Japan.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Amur
China
Kiakhta
Hue
Lake Baikal
Kalgan
Mongolia
Manchouria
Far East
Pekin
Kailar
Manchovrian
Russia
Asia
Basses
Kallar
Kalyan
Siberian
Urga
England
Great Wall
Japan
New York Sun
Spool in Dog’s Throat Causes Frantic Rescue Scene
A Washington household faced chaos when Mrs. Blank’s dog Bruiser appeared to choke on a sewing spool after she playfully tossed it to him. Despite neighbors offering help, she refused to relinquish the dog, and the spool was later found to be in the room corner. The dog was resuscitated and saved, with the incident cited as a caution about overzealous affection.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington
Mrs. Blank
Bruiser
Miss Mallandaine Receives Amethyst Bracelet Birthday Gift
In a London Evening News tale, Miss Mary Mallandaine receives a violet bouquet and an amethyst bracelet inscribed Maury from Captain Cleveland, sparking doubt about a possible engagement as her mother notes the bracelet costs a fortune. The plot twists with a hired bracelet scene at Levison and a revelation that Mr Mildmay may be the heiress’s future groom.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Miss Mallandaine
Mises Mallandaine
Carter
Mary
Captain Cleveland
Maxima
Mra Mallandaine
Mrs. Mallandaine
Lissle Cleveland
Alster
Lady Haughton
Lizzie
Frank
Wrant
Levison
Mrs. Inglis
Levison's
Miss Maltlandatne
Mary Mallandainen
Old Levison
Mary Mallandaine
Masquerade in Jamaica: British impressment raid uncovers sailors
The diary of Captain Hoffman recounts a Jamaica house raid where three women, a sick seaman, and a large baby hid eight British seamen among the occupants. The officers captured the crew after a brief struggle, noting the infant and the bedridden man as part of the ruse.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
John Bull
Captain Hoffman
Royal Navy
George
Hoffman
Jamaica
Jack Mitford
Pipe smoking in Paris contrasted with England
A brief note compares public pipe smoking in Paris unfavorably to England, describing French view as infra dig. The text mentions a young person lacking money yet eager for meals and an automobile balking beyond mere hesitation.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Paris
England
Mead Sartle ny Ilis Aishm .an American Born Mem Parliament ue Dees
American born Sir Ellis Ashmead Bartlett is identified as one of three U S born men in the British Parliament. The text traces Bartlett’s genealogy to Pilgrim ancestors, noting his Brooklyn birth in 1849 and family ties to Plymouth Massachusetts. It mentions Francis A. Channing and other lineage details through two sides of his family.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Briggs
Griggs
Uncle Eben
Washington Star
Bertha
Edith
Fred
Constance
Tomdik
Nell
Mabel
Belle
Philadelphia Record
Critie
Lord Byron
Macaulay
Rip van Winkle
Princeton Tiger
Albany
Missus
Ue Dees
Birmy
Ashmead-Bartlett
Francis A. Channing
Channing Familly
New England
Ashmead
Bartlett Bartlett-Coutts
Sir Ellis
Baroness dett-Coutts
Sir Ellis Ashmead-Bartlett
Brooklyn
N. Y
Wural
el Ds Bartlett
Plymouth
Mass
Amherst College
John King Aggymead
Philadelphia
Robert Bartlett
Sussex
Eng
Mary
Richard Warren
Thee
Sir Ellis H. dies after appendix operation
Dore Lehman, companion of William Penn, and Sir Ellis, educated at Oxford, served as civil lord of the admiralty under Lord Salisbury in 1885 and from 1886 to 1892. Knighted in 1892, he sat in Parliament for twenty two years, representing Eye from 1880 to 1885 and Sheffield since 1885. His death followed an operation for appendicitis.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dore Lehman
William Penn
Sir Ellis
Oxford
Admiralty
Lord Salisbury
Eye
Sheffield
Elephant Tree in Worcester Baffles Locals for Generations
A Worcester elm known as the elephant tree stands by City Hall, its 4mmoth growth forming a trunk likeness. The ancient tree remains healthy and majestic, drawing curiosity for over a century.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Worcester
Mass
Advertising as the Golden Gate to Prosperity
A Wichita Eagle excerpt notes that advertising is essential for business and public life. Key speakers from the Sphinx Club in New York urge beginners to quickly reach many citizens and then promote specific goods. An experienced merchant cites steady use of newspaper space as a path to wealth and calls newspaper advertising the best long term value. Portable bakeries in France are described for military use, and a final fragment hints at a personal confession.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Sphinx Club
R. C. Ogden
New England
Also Mentioned on This Page
Augusta
Willie
Cupid
Celia
Ophelia
Delia
Detroit Free Press
Chicago Evening Post
Dler
Dalzell
Representative Dalzell
Ways and Means
Representative McClellan
Mr. Dalzell
President McKinley
Mr. McKinley Ca 4
Washington Capitel
Ladies' Home Journal
Peixoto
Giraré College
Philadelphia Times
Ing
Rome
Wichita
Kan
France