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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Keota News
Location
Keota, Colorado, United States of America
Date
Jun 28, 1912
Page
5
The article recounts Eugene Walker’s success in London with The Easiest Way and a manager’s anecdote about the English censor. A playwright’s love scene passage is cited where a censor rewrites a line from a moonlit meeting to a prudish afternoon garden meeting with maternal approval.
A doctor answers a bell at night and accepts a large flowered package for Miss Matilda the cook. He places the wrapped parcel in a water-filled pan in the kitchen, unaware of its contents until Matilda angrily threatens to scald the recipient if the person is found.
In a cozy room Mrs Pansy Pink frets over an incoming call. She speculates on family health gossip and social worries while awaiting the caller. The phone rings again signaling a looming interruption.
In Washington Senator Gardener promotes a bill to seize express firms and create a parcels post. He says opponents overstate the obstacles, likening them to a Canadian yarn about a brutal winter. A Canadian hotel guest recalls hot water bottles freezing from November to March.
A listings-style roundup of major Colorado happenings from July through September across cities like Platteville Greeley Pueblo Trinidad Durango Fort Collins Loveland Boulder and Denver. Includes independence day celebrations conventions fairs and associations such as the Republican and Democratic state Conventions and the San Luis Valley Fair.
Mrs Elizabeth Toothman, a woman well past seventy, and five men were convicted of bootlegging in Magistrate Deeble's court. All are jailed until fines totaling 5700 dollars are paid. Cases to be appealed to the County Court.
Delta-Sam Farmer finances the Escalante irrigation project covering seven to eighteen miles from Delta. The project needs 275000 dollars, already subscribed by Eastern capitalists. 40000 dollars spent, work to resume on 25 miles of ditches and six reservoirs. Fourteen thousand acres of land will be irrigated, company incorporated for 300000 dollars.
The state land board drew a new contract with Ignacio Land Company, which holds 10,000 acres of Careyact land since 1905 amid water rights disputes. Future contracts will mirror this agreement, which requires water access before irrigation sales. The company previously refunded funds to prospective entrants when irrigation progress proved insufficient.
Cafion City gains the Colorado Odd Fellows Home for aged and infirm members after local donations totaling 3,500 plus city improvements. The grand lodge plans 75,000 for buildings on a 40 acre site with 100,000 more for future additions and improvements.
Nonsense lines mention half a loaf and bakers notes with garbled phrases. References to Garfield Tea, Essait, Red Cross Pee, laundries, grocers, and a cavalcade of unrelated lines mix with dialogue bits about laughter and dying.
An odd advertorial sketch touts cheap romantic branding offering ten smiles for a nickel and urges customers to buy Red Cross Bag Blue for spotless clothes. The piece parodies ads by mentioning Mrs Winslow’s Soothing Syrup and a quip about Solomon in his glory, ending with a teething syrup price.
A brief witticism contrasts a predicted long life for Eiffels with a conditional note that longevity depends on continued ignorance. The exchange emphasizes humor over age and knowledge.
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