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Newspaper
Jasper News
Location
Jasper, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Dec 03, 1908
Page
2
An online ad touts a $1.00 package that promises to remove dandruff stop itching scalp restore natural hair color and promote new hair growth. The copy emphasizes quick results and nationwide availability.
A sequence of humorous misadventures unfolds in a late night setting. A Good Samaritan helps three distressed men into a doorway, a restaurant sign sparks a tea request, Snooks shoots at a white hand in a haunted room, and a large crowd endures a brusque trolley car encounter.
Two English visitors hire a boat in Ireland and tease local Pat about astrology and theology. A squall capsizes the boat and the Englishmen cannot swim, begging Pat for help. Pat quips that if he knew how to swim, both their lives would be lost.
A San Francisco phonographic cylinder from 1873 tells of a Mayans Massachusetts man with a chronic liver ailment who seeks a cure along the California coast. He finds a spring in the San Poegain Valley whose waters allegedly cure him, leading to a sanitarium boom. He dies, and his liver is said to have been removed to bury him.
The entry recounts Mark Twain in New York discussing etiquette at a dinner. He claims to recall caveat filled seat rules, including how to take a cigarette, handle a door exit, and accept dinner or drink invitations with practiced ease.
A kind older man asks a boy why the papers don't tire him but the boy replies with a half heard, informal retort about not being tired. The fragment hints at a street scene or anecdote from a bygone era. The dialogue showcases everyday humor between an elder and a child in a newspaper setting.
Man seeks work chopping wood bringing up coal and feeding furnace tending garden and chores. Ad shows worn phrasing and garbled names as if from a late 19th century classifieds page.
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