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This newspaper page contains 12 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Jasper News
Location
Jasper, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Aug 22, 1907
Page
7
A collage of humor and character sketches from Chicago papers. It lists traits for various beings like the Beetle and the Fly, with quips about honesty, industry, and mischief. Includes brief jokey exchanges and small vignettes such as a quip about mailing articles to editors and a motor car gag.
A quip from a Chicago Daily News item suggests a male speaker notes a woman's voice can rise to more than twice the height of a man's. The exchange hints at why women often lead prayer in families, with a playful back-and-forth between He and She.
A Chicago Record Herald snippet reproduces a curate of humorous exchanges. A physician warns a patient that away from business he must sever ties to avoid decline, while the patient jokes about ceasing piano work. Another brief quip features a mistaken identity between a physician and an undertaker in a chatter of strangers.
An old man visits a meteorological office and offers a weather tip. He suggests using a line from a county auction handbook, wind and weather permitting, as a quick forecast phrase. The clerk listens politely as the man departs without a goodbye.
A widower rebuffs Miss Perkleson after noting she is entertaining but possessed a projecting chin reminiscent of his first wife. The inveterate matchmaker had hoped the pair would suit, citing her appeal yet acknowledging the facial issue observed by the widower. Chicago Record Herald.
A judge cartoons a marriage dispute by noting his wife’s supposed invalid status and a plan to boost her allowance to cover clothes. He quips the remedy is a fashionably minded cure, highlighting the tension between appearances and care in a satirical sketch.
The Philadelphia Telegraph quotes two mottoes: a doctor’s “Be sure you’re right, then go ahead,” and a merchant’s “Be sure you get ahead, then you can make it right.” The notes compare caution with progress in a brief reader item.
A clerk reports a boss told him to marry under threat of discharge and insisted he raises salaries to keep obedient workers. The business owner defends the practice as standard for all clerks reaching marriage age, aiming to suppress independent, conceited men in his shop.
In a light Chicago Daily Wows item a man confesses his heart was in his mouth when proposing. The woman replies she cannot marry a man whose heart isn t in the right place, prompting a witty exchange about love and foolishness.
The white marble McKinley monument in Niagara Square Buffalo will be formally dedicated Thursday Sept 6 as the central event of Old Home Week Sept 1 to 7 Gov Charles Hughes and his military staff will participate Roosevelt and Grover Cleveland are invited to attend and speak Military parades will highlight the ceremony The monument cost 150000 and was planned by a commission of prominent citizens
Michael Steinman of Brooklyn describes a twelve year eczema case on his son cured by Cuticura Ointment after doctors failed. The boy, once inflamed and itchy with scales, improved after the first box and was fully cured by the second set, now twelve and skin smooth. The note ends with a theater etiquette tip about hats and thirst.
A mixed dialogue notes Nuriteh ready to confess faults while another speaker mocks self made claims. A stray line mentions Crom Ball Blue used by a housekeeper and a curious reference to cold storage branding and a large two ounce package.
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