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This newspaper page contains 27 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ismay Journal
Location
Ismay, Montana, United States of America
Date
Jun 09, 1911
Page
2
The Ismay Journal mocks popular fads and press sensationalism with quips about lobsters, hats, harem skirts, and press agents. It parodies public morals and scandals, noting oddball items from dancers to politicians and lampooning sensational journalism.
An English paper advises binding an attacker with a handkerchief if struck with a club and then carrying the restrained person to a police station. The remark presents a survival tactic framed as practical guidance.
London shopkeepers say the coronation will not disrupt trade as Americans plan to spend over 325 million dollars abroad. The report notes confidence despite the vast expenditure tied to the royal event.
A woman has succeeded to ownership of a baseball franchise and now faces questions about rules of play. She notes she will learn the rules herself without guidance from spectators in the stands, particularly why a runner cannot advance until after a fly ball is caught.
A cheap radium substitute has been found and is claimed to be as effective as radium. The public shows little regard for how soon radium prices rise by millions per pound, focusing on affordability over scarcity.
A Brooklyn flat dweller earned enmity by consistently paying rent on time. The neighbor describes punctuality as an undesirable trait when it disrupts condo norms and irritates fellow tenants.
A Californian woman used a telephone receiver each Friday to darn stockings, showing how simple tools can serve unexpected domestic tasks. The note suggests other practical repurposes may be developed with some ingenuity.
A Pennsylvania woman refused 150 marriage proposals amid a community noting a surplus of single women and a supposed fascination trust. The article questions the law's ability to address such social pressures.
A New Orleans school teacher has created a new grammar aimed at stopping scholars from using the phrase those kind. The inventor hopes the plain directions will curb the habit among the educated.
A New York police officer writes a parody of The Old Oaken Bucket with hopes it becomes the nations anthem. He states he is an able hoper regardless of poetic skill.
Norman Druce finds a wedding ring on a Broadway cab ride and traces it to Mary and John Venne. The ring leads him to Daphne Venne, the star of his show, who reveals her married name and hints at a romance. They plan a private supper for two after a first introduction with her brother.
A brief exchange between a passenger and guard in London discusses the train’s slowness and attributes it to the sleeping cars behind, highlighting travel conditions aboard a late service.
On Prince Edward Island about twenty five thousand muskrats five hundred minks one thousand red foxes and a few weasels are killed every year by local trappers in a regulated trapping season.
A dated farm guidance note recommends immediate action when mice gnaw bark on young trees. It details hollowing girdled areas, inserting twig lengths with notches, sealing with wax resin and tallow, and wrapping with cloth. Properly applied, many trees recover and new growth forms across the injury, saving nursery stock.
A report on the destructive saw fly larvae or false caterpillars feeding on willows and elms, their life cycle from egg to four winged adults, and the effectiveness of arsenical poisons such as arsenate of lead mixed with water to control the infestation.
A Country Gentleman writer describes a home cellar designed for storage and work on sunny days. The glass roof covers a greenhouse over a sunken cellar with earth walls, aided by a small oil stove but hampered by poor drainage and unintended freezing.
Garden guidance explains spreading four inches of half rotted straw leaves or grass around trees and hedges. Extend mulch two feet from trunks, place stones on top, and apply lawn clippings to rose borders. Mulching reduces evaporation, cools soil, and boosts yields in currants berries and raspberries when done in June.
A fragmentary agricultural note discusses early strawberry transplanting. It suggests plants with root and heel care may succeed if berries are ripe, advises against very early planting and emphasizes careful soil prep including plowing and frequent harrowing, noting shipping distance as a factor.
Plan to set out trees and berries as ground dries. Raspberries and blackberries should be mulched with straw and cultivated shallowly in spring. Bridge grafting can save bark gnawed trees and trimming aims for straight trunks. Rotation and cover crops benefit peach trees and pome fruits tolerate heavier soils. A poultry yard thrives in orchards where insects abound.
A traditional saying reflects on marriage in which a wife’s prayers are answered but the husband bears the price or consequence. The remark underscores gendered expectations and marital duty in domestic lore.
A humorous exchange notes the boss’s son becoming overworked. Previously he only removed pages from the office calendar once a month. Now he must also wind the eight day clock.
An old advertisement extols Doan’s Kidney Pills as the superior remedy for kidney health. Dr R F Marshall of East Oakland California and Foster Milburn Co of Buffalo New York are cited with claims of medical experience and nationwide sale at 50 cents per box.
Oysters grow mainly in summer and reach size by the third year. A shell shows a yearly growth hump and winter sink, and after seven or ten years full growth appears. Oysters can live up to twenty years.
The quip notes sixteen women sue Riter for breach of promise. His defense says he was gathering material for annual summer love stories, a line reported in Puck.
A quip contrasts Gotrox the multimillionaire’s wealth with intelligence. The line suggests he has “more money than brains” and ponders what he would do with brains.
A witty exchange shows Mrs Knicker asking about a session with her husband and Mrs Becker noting a short session where he passed an appropriation bill. The speaker defines an artist as one who creates works with haunting power.
A healthful diet during puberty is vital to build sturdy character and prevent chronic illness. A testimonial praises Postum as soothing to a sensitive stomach after coffee and tea caused headaches and nervousness, claiming improved health and alertness.
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