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Newspaper
Hamiota Echo
Location
Hamiota, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Apr 27, 1911
Page
2
A collection of quips and anecdotes from a Saratoga dinner with James R. Keene and others. The remarks touch on royalty, King Edward, Prize stock, and a west-end butcher's humor about royal swine. Also small ads reference remedies and a joke about a singer and a broken car horn.
A collage of jokes and exchanges from periodicals includes quips about Shilohis Cure, a misprint medical tale, a porch floor fright, garden plans, price debates with a grocer, Holloway's Corn Cure ads, and a row of light humorous dialogue from the Daily Whirl and Washington Herald style panels.
The exchange notes a trace of liquor on Stubben this morning and the Bookkeeper quips about a cured cold. A Washington Star remark mocks charity fund appeals and compares awkward fund drives to a colored preacher's Hebden line.
A visitor asks which name to use for his Irish acquaintances. Baron Baickhauser Van derke tootheimer appears, and a companion ruts in with a quick interruption.
Dr Alexander, aged eighty seven and retiring Archbishop of Arthagh and Primate of All Ireland, plans to reside in Torquay Devon. A poet and theologian, he has spent sixty five years in parish work and holds a singular episcopal record. He endowed the Derry diocese with $15 000 yearly and a bishop's house, and served briefly in the House of Lords.
An anecdote from the London Aberdeen Banff and Kincardine Association dinner in London features Lord Pentland presiding and a canvasser mistaken for the politician's lover. A bold house visit ends with the hostess confusing the canvasser for Jim's partner, prompting a humorous misreading of loyalties.
Ex railway man F H McGuigan who led Ontario hydro electric work is famed for a hot temper and sharp wit. A childhood tale shows his drive to reach "the job higher up" when he proved his engine skills to an engineer who doubted him.
A Missive to a Montreal flour house requests a calendar for a New Year. The letter offers suggestive mispronunciations and asks the firm to mail a calendar to an address referenced by a person named Keewa Tin. The tone hints at a personal plea and mischief.
The Neptune ship conducts gunnery experiments with new crew and gear. On February 13 a 30 foot flagstaff was dropped nine thousand yards away and five 12 inch shots hit the target, all within a 150 yard spread. Officials expect three times as many hits per minute soon, reshaping naval fire power.
The Langes, a native tribe east of the Victoria Nile, wear iron or brass arm bands and glass lip ornaments. Arm bands are fitted in youth to force muscle growth into unusual shapes as the arm enlarges. Lip ornaments come from broken bottles and insert through a lip hole about a quarter to half an inch below the lower lip.
On Main Street, piles of stone and exposed rails show extensive trolley repair work. Miss Nelly Jones asks what is happening while her practical uncle explains they are removing unused tracks and leaving the used ones.
A dialogue notes a character named Gray asking about whether a female heart can despise gold. The reply suggests any woman can despise gold if it is necessary to win a title, framing a moral about ambition and merit over wealth.
Three scientific men from an Eastern college visit a Montana mine. On ascent a professor suspects rope weakness and asks how often ropes are changed. The attendant replies every three months. He then says perhaps the notice should read we must change it to say if we get up.
Mothers urged to keep Baby's Own Tablets ready to treat common childhood ailments including upset stomach and teething pain. Claims safety with no opiate, backed by a government analyst. Testimonial from Mrs Hypolite Chiasson of Eastern Harbour Nova Scotia and a note on price and availability through The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ontario.
An old advertisement notes Shilohs Cure for colds and throat issues while a dialogue depicts a bashful suitor and a woman who fears neglect. A separate snippet promotes Take LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE tablets with a money back guarantee from W Grove.
A terse exchange reveals a discharged worker laid blame on a supervisor for promoting a boy with ambition. The boss contends the new hire arrived with authority already in his possession, noting the words and cigars left in his desk as the core issue.
A brief flirtation unfolds as an impertinent girl challenges a man about his favorite subject. The exchange turns personal as she hints the topic is himself and the moment sharpens their playful confrontation.
An exchange reveals characters debating future insight and past reflections. Cecile asks about hair, Jeanne responds with a question about what was given, while Her comments on foresight suggest little progress in imagination. The tone hints at unfinished conversation.
An advertisement claims catarrh cannot be cured by local applications and must be treated with internal remedies. Haiis Catarrh Cure is said to act on blood and mucous surfaces and is prescribed by leading physicians. It lists testimonials, a Toledo Ohio address, and a 75 cent price, with accompanying pills for constipation.
In a playful exchange Miss Sweet recalls a ruin they visited abroad where one of the ruins “wanted to marry me” and Professor Beeswax replies with a quip about the trip.
Lord Robson after his 1908 appointment as Attorney General bragged to a friend that Mr Lowther was the best Speaker he had sat under. A hush fell as the friend whispered that Mr Gully was present and Robson fled. Another encounter revealed the late Speaker’s son nearby. Peel was introduced.
An advertisement touts Dr Chase's Kidney Liver Pills as a remedy for biliousness constipation and kidney and liver sluggishness. It claims the pills wake the liver and kidneys restore digestion and reduce pains irritability and low mood. Sold for 25 cents a box by Edmanson Bates & Co Toronto.
Relates how Bishop Talbot of Winchester, linked to the Lyttelton family by marriage, once asked to keep bowling in the parish after wides. A bowler then struck him in the waistband, remarking the ball was in the diocese. A Leeds workman noted Talbot’s weakness in the legs but strength of the head.
A Buxton England report highlights a small dog treated with regular waters as a cure for rheumatism. The creature faithfully drinks daily, becoming a noted example of habit and rehabilitation through the waters.
Viscount Valentia MP announces he will relinquish the chairmanship of Oxford County Council after a long record of public service. He succeeds his grandfather in 1863 at age twenty and is a noted sportsman, hunter, and polo pioneer who served in the Hussars and in the House of Commons for Oxford City since 1895.
Notary Georges Normandin of Montreal reports a letter claiming the Normandin dit Beausoleil family inherits 60 million dollars from a French widow. The tale alleges a Marie Normandin dit Beau soleil fled with an English officer in 1837, he died a general in Afghanistan, leaving wealth that a Paris widow’s death now seeks to share among relatives.
A report from Ontario describes ministers regaling audiences with sermon text clashes. A pastor failed to inform the choir on the sermon topic and the choir replied with a contrasting hymn about rest. Another choirmaster paired an odd hymn ending the service, causing coolness between pastor and leader.
Charles A. Magrath M P for Medicine Hat urged Canada to use cheap power to open world markets and protect national identity. He proposed a commission of competent consulting engineers to harness water power for Canada, calling himself a steadfast Western voice and noting his role as Permanent Chairman of the Conservative Caucus.
In a quip about modern romance, a joke claims Cupid now carries a divorce decree in his quiver rather than arrows, contrasting ancient myth with contemporary relationships. The exchange humorously critiques the fragility of marriage and the ease of breakup.
A neighbor mocks a mother's pride over a letter from her daughter the countess Debt and status spark envy as she asks how much money the countess seeks From a banker marriage.
The Patient Observer notes that living in frequent companionship with one's children often fails and that there is a proper time for being with them. He says his presence bores his boys and that relief comes when they need him in trouble, not in happiness. Also promotes Mother Graves Worm Exterminator as a reliable relief.
Mrs Wildwest dismisses the play as realistic noting the second act jumps six months ahead yet the heroine remains with the same husband. Life commentary highlights dialogue on authenticity in theater.
A collage of fragmentary quotes from the Boston Transcript and Houston Post features humorous lines about a hot office, a phonograph imitation by a boy, and jokes about vaudeville and keeping him at home. The snippets read like lighthearted, era newspaper chatter with playful banter.
A father proposes a $25 yearly contribution toward a Canadian Government Annuity for his 20 year old daughter to ensure a $300 yearly income from age 55, with the daughter adding $2.09 monthly. The plan promises $3,000 return if she dies within 10 years or continued income for life if she survives, and heirs receive the principal if she dies before 55. Apply to postmaster or Superintendent of Annuities in Ottawa for details. A separate note promotes Parmelee's Vegetable Pills as a digestive aid.
A Chicago Tribune spoof uses a series of quick questions about stoves nails screening doors keys and coal to poke fun at hardware store chats. The light hearted exchange highlights everyday home repair tasks and familiar shop talk.
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