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Newspaper
Greeley Tribune
Location
Greeley, Colorado, United States of America
Date
Mar 02, 1905
Page
7
Greeley newspaper compiled want ads fill pages with sales and services. Listings include farm equipment livestock horses real estate jobs and miscellaneous items for sale with addresses and phone numbers where given. Community notices include library events and local club activities.
Local entries promote blue vitriol at Fezers, wallpaper at Stover's Book Store, bulk garden seeds at Pier Plymouth, hens for sale, Eastman Kodak supplies at Fezers, wallpaper from five cents to two dollars per roll at Horne's, fresh garden seeds by Pier Brothers, Sherwin Williams paints as top choice, and sales by D R McArthur.
Druggists refund money if PAZO OINTMENT fails to cure any case including itching bleeding or protruding piles in 6 to 14 days. First application brings ease and rest. 50c. Send 50c in stamps if not available from your druggist to Paris Medicine Co. St. Louis Mo.
A humorous anecdote recalls Daniel Webster riding in a New England stagecoach annoyed by its fast horses. He tells the driver to run them into a fence, but the coachman says the horses have the bit. Webster then quips to run them into debt, saying that will stop anything.
In a letter to the Country Gentleman of London a poacher explains how he used a candle burning in a saucer of water to mimic leaving at night. He admits the device would sputter out around 10 o'clock, fooling watchful keepers into thinking he retired without human aid.
A humorous old saying passed from a Yorker craftsman. It lists a flea a fly a magpie and a flitch of bacon to symbolize traits of a Yorkshireman. The verse notes biting chattiness drinking from others cups and talking with anyone while claiming he is no good until hung.
An elderly woman arrives at her niece's house and offers help with a charades game. She claims she knew about the activity before entering, saying she sensed the scent of the game as she approached.
Tommy cajoles Mr. Smartie with a sly line about slipping a pick in the parlor for a nickel. He confides he heard sister planned to break the ice that night, prompting Mr. Smartie’s astonished response.
A compact quip notes a once wealthy man deemed a bad egg, overlooked while riches lasted, then exposed as broke. The New York Times framing hints at reputational decline tied to financial ruin.
A Laboulaye quote notes three roles of a visitor in a home: guest first, then boarder, finally pest. The line reflects shifting social expectations and boundaries in domestic life.
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