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Newspaper
Graettinger Times
Location
Graettinger, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Dec 25, 1919
Page
4
A man named Jones, recently married, misallocated his salary at two paydays. On the first payday he gave his wife fourteen of fifteen dollars and kept a dollar. On the second payday he kept fourteen dollars, giving his wife only one. The wife protested, and the man replied he did not know how to stretch eight paltry dollars for a week.
Large scale cutting of cordwood continues across the state to ease the fuel shortage. No strict limits on wood type or amount, but selection should preserve reserves after past crises. Iowa consumed about one and a half million cords in 1914.
The report notes three million cords of wood used in 1918 and compares heating values of different woods to coal. It explains that dry wood varies in energy, hard woods require nine to twelve months to season, and should not be cut for immediate use. Softer woods season faster and are suitable for quick consumption. Larger trees are preferred, and splitting logs promptly accelerates seasoning.
In a column from a past era, humorous vignettes recount Mrs Hicks strict shoe rules and a husband’s stubborn reply about entering the home barefoot. Another sketch parodies Taft addressing editors, noting how a typographical error can change meaning, with a failing needle joke quoted in playful dialect.
The fragmentary quotation lists exaggerated actions and humorous claims from a self aggrandizing speaker. It includes numbers tied to social interactions, religious revivals, and a political election outcome. The tone resembles a satirical stump speech or hyperbolic anecdote from a past era.
A country editor in Kansas faced removal for a typographical error in a mayor’s daughter wedding report. He promised a correction after the mayor demanded one, and the next issue apologized for misprinting that the roses were pink when the noses were pink.
A verse riffs on proverb swaps from birds to cars and loads. It notes a car on the way may be slow and a yard or bin yields certainty, urging steady, practical delivery of coal or goods over distant promise.
A Missouri candidate filed a satirical expense report detailing the personal toll of running for office. It lists lost sleep, mischief like lost teeth and hair, and humorous donations including food, clothing, and cash as part of the candidacy ordeal.
Four Traverse City haberdashers operate under the trade name The Irishman and the Jew. The shop uses the distinctive label on neckties and promotes the brand in all advertisements with the same signature. The unexpected name draws attention in local commerce and signage.
The article recounts how E. Joy and D. H. Netzorg named their business The Irishman and the Jew, aiming for a striking label to halt casual readers. They note their Scotch Irish and Hebrew backgrounds and the name’s role in attracting traveling salesmen who buy neckties to showcase the label.
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