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Newspaper
Golden Valley Chronicle
Location
Beach, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Jun 13, 1913
Page
3
A collage of humorous vignettes and quotes from old newspapers, featuring Frank Houseman recalling Johnny McGraw in Florida and a boastful mix of anecdotes about eloquence, letters, compliments, Mont Blanc, and social scenes. The pieces showcase dated wit and light satire with named figures and locales.
A Yale professor and a friend tell a joke to an Englishman they meet near a map. The Englishman remains unmoved, replying he will not laugh next summer. The American insists, but the Englishman repeats that he laughed at that last summer.
A Chicago Tribune idea ponders a rapidly spinning earth. It imagines higher jumps, shifting gravity, weight changes from pole to equator, and drastic labor shifts as workers move north for high wages and south for cheap labor.
A tale recalls Baron Anselm Rothschild hosting a supper when a letter flies in and, without reading it, he wraps the note in gold and places it across the street. Separately, Harper's Weekly explains how grape color arises from tannin and ferment reactions influenced by air light and heat.
The text recalls Richard Lovell Edgeworth, father of novelist Maria Edgeworth, as one of the incorruptible members of the Irish parliament. It notes his 1798 return to a Longford borough, the offer of 3,000 guineas for his seat, and his refusal to compromise his integrity and vote on the union.
The Roumanian royal crown, forged from a captured Turk gun used at Plevna, is described as the grimest symbol of independence. On May 10, 1881, King Charles consecrated both this and the simple golden crown, proclaiming the iron crown as a sign of Roumania's power and nationhood.
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