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This newspaper page contains 18 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Fairfield Tribune
Location
Fairfield, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jan 10, 1900
Page
5
A playful verse from the St. Louis Republic about a potato pursuing an onion through a garden of vegetables. Beets blush, pumpkins wed, and the tuber declares devotion while the onion resists, ending with a humorous, risqué twist.
A young man recounts his voyage as a shipboy on a cattle steamer to Europe. He rose before dawn to wash vast piles of dishes in the pantry, serving 60 passengers daily while noting crew life and appetite aboard.
The piece recounts English noble Lord P s habit of spoiling stories with bad punchlines. A century ago Albert Gate built two vast houses nicknamed Malta and Gibraltar for impossible rental, prompting a quip about their fate. Lord P. jokes the town by asking why the ark tardy elephant could not enter.
The Chicago Post reports estimates that next year the population center will lie in Indiana near the Illinois border close to Vincennes. The 1890 center lay between Columbus Indiana and Cincinnati with growth in Georgia Texas Indian Territory Oklahoma New Mexico and Arizona offsetting northwest gains and possibly nudging the center south of the 1890 line. The wealth center is believed to be near Sandusky Ohio.
A Forest and Stream writer argues that criminal tendencies appear to some degree in all animals and compiles a list of 18 offenses commonly attributed to birds beasts or reptiles. The indictment covers phthuder parricide fratricide death by own action theft kidnaping highway robbery polygamy and drunkenness.
A reflective meditation on aging, praising the enduring joy of mature, robust people who gain richer happiness as they grow older. The piece extols the capacity to savor noble pleasures as life advances.
A brief poetic observation compares thoughts and words to sticks bent as they enter certain minds, suggesting influence and distortion. The image evokes how external minds alter internal clarity and truth.
A Chicago News item notes a woman who wonders how many years pass from turning 30 to reaching 31. The brief explores a simple age question with a playful, reflective tone.
An article explains brain cells and their connections as octopus like extensions, showing how overwork and alcohol disrupt nerves, cause absent mindedness and insanity, and how geniuses often display mental instability. It notes historical figures with hypochondria and visions and ends with a Lancaster painter tale about a daft father.
The Memphis Scimitar recounts a bride who wrote D K W on household expense pages. Her husband questioned the letters puzzled him until she explained they stood for don't know what. She used D K W to balance accounts with unaccounted money.
In major Russian cities there is no speed limit for horses. Orloff harness horses, bred from Smetanka and English mares, stand about 16 hands high and weigh 1100 pounds. They race through St Petersburg streets near tracks with fast driving, and winter sleigh teams move at a three minute gait on ice flooded courses. American equipment is common.
In Queen Anne street Turner's home opened only to special invitees. An iron grille in the front door admitted few, as illustrated by Lord Lansdowne's anecdote in Millais Life of Turner where he was cheekily greeted through the grate and admitted as “Cat's meat.”
Ian Maclaren argues in Ladies' Home Journal that a city church work demands a minister in the prime of life. He says age over 50 impairs efficiency due to parish burdens, public life, and mental strain.
Baron Dowse recalled a Cork assizes scene where the court officer urged jurors to take their accustomed places and they all walked into the dock, provoking the judge to vow he might never laugh at the end. The anecdote is delivered in Dowse’s signature brogue.
In La Gaceta Guadalajara a card requests the man who embraced the writer’s wife at the post office entrance around 9 pm Thursday to send his photograph for an “Album of Heroes” published in Mexico Two Republics. The notice appears in both English and Spanish.
The account recalls a harem meal with cushions and shared scones as plates. A common tureen of white soup is passed around, followed by boiled meat, a vegetable curry, Zagazig pudding with rice, and coffee served from a copper pot by a black attendant named Lily in the Desert.
The Fortnightly quotes a John Donne funeral sermon scene where a sensitive mind prays yet distracts with a fly a coach dog and memory. It argues inner self analysis explains contradictions in a career whose logic appears unclear at first.
The article notes that Byzantine princes played a game that resembled polo, differing little from the modern version. This comparison highlights the continuity of equestrian sport and royal recreation across eras.
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