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Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Dec 05, 1903
Page
3
A garbled collage of stray quotes and ad snippets from old papers. The text cites the New York Herald on grain of truth and moral gossip, a Dr Kline patent medicine offer, a joke about an organ grinder, a Newport joke, and a Chicago Tribune quip. It reads as damaged OCR with scattered brands and ad lines.
Brooklyn Eagle quotes a girl in her first season and a philosophical spinster on laughter at singleness. It notes Piso's Cure as a cough remedy offered by druggists for 25 cents.
A Chicago News quotation features Mrs Mixer noting her breadmaking reputation from seven sons, and Mrs Catchington claiming her matchmaking fame from nine daughters. The dialogue highlights social roles tied to motherhood and local reputation.
The Chicago Post quotes: "It looks to me a good deal as if the new woman and some society women would like to be hens." A peer replies the remark is not flattering, but a sensible inference remains. The incubator would free them from much responsibility.
A colored witness, after an hour on the stand, asks the judge for permission to speak one word. The judge allows, and the witness offers a direct plea for a chance to tell the truth, signaling a turning moment in the testimony.
A fragment from the Baltimore News notes Cholly’s valet died by his own action. The dialogue mentions Cholly and a request to smoke cigarettes foah him, implying a fashion of speech and a reported self-inflicted death event. The text reflects archaic dialect and partial quotation.
The Chicago Record Herald notes that standard oil capitalists acquired Coney Island and suggests a pipeline could bring midway amusements to the area. The remark hints at forthcoming development plans and potential alignment with oil interests.
A witty exchange unfolds as a curious woman asks when women are most charming. A diplomat from Diplomacyville replies that the age of the woman asking the question is the charm’s peak.
A recipe describes mixing flour with salt and sugar, scalded milk with butter, and a yeast mixture dissolved in warm water to form a soft dough. After kneading ten minutes, let rise six hours, shape into two loaves, rise an hour more, then bake in a steady oven.
A collection of recipe snippets detailing tomato catena p sauce and croquettes with cheese, fried breaded croquettes, sausage with buckwheat cakes, Cream of Celery Soup with roux, Water Pie with oysters and milk, all from What to Eat and Good Housekeeping. Includes steps, ingredients, and cooking methods.
A clipped local exchange questions the sudden horse death while noting a veterinarian’s car breakdown on the way to assist. The odd coincidence hints at the veterinary visit being linked to the animal’s demise, though details remain unclear.
Urbana Ohio August 25 1903 a resident describes a severe rheumatic attack starting in the right elbow then wrists hips and knee joints. After months of physician care the patient reports complete relief following use of 8. 8. 8. and praises it as an excellent blood based cure.
A compendium of brief preacher remarks from diverse faiths including Congregationalist Rev W H Hopkins and Baptist Rev Ray Palmer. Topics cover polygamy, selfish rulers, clergyman functions, universal standards, proper work of the church, practical Christianity, independence, marriage, circumstances, joy, ideals, speculation, crime, future punishment, and the roles of men and women in society.
A Baltimore American note mocks a “big jobs” remark as Wheeling West Virginia and Lansing Michigan are described in grand terms while Long Island is called a “tiny sanitary stunt,” followed by a Washington Star exchange about shame and an underwhelming inclination. The dialogue features a cheerful idiom and satirical bite from the era.
A team led by State Archeologist E B Blackman surveyed quarries on Isaac M Pollard’s Nebrask a farm near Nei hawka. The 80 by 6 by 10 foot cross section reveals two solid limestone layers removed, exposing sodules and flint nodules. Tons of flint litter the pit and a burr oak stands at center.
An essay argues that athletics and outdoor exercise strengthen undergraduates, citing Andover founders’ aim to teach the real business of living. It praises football coaches who return after graduation, suggesting their balance of character and achievement supports athletics as essential to healthy, well-rounded citizens. Included is a note on the origins of meteorology with early instruments.
The fastest picker is 15 year old Carrie Everett who gathered 72 quarts of buckle berries between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m in Monroe County Pennsylvania. A man holds the record with 125 quarts in eight hours in Altamose. The piece ends with a quip about discovering a temper.
Miss Muriel Armitage of Detroit says Peruna cured her five year struggle with uterine irregularities and hysteria after six months and fifteen bottles. She claims catarrh caused her female ailments and Peruna removed the symptoms, restoring health.
This advertises Peruna as a permanent cure for pelvic catarrh and associated nervousness. It portrays weak, half-sick women suffering uncontrollable symptoms, claims the remedy can restore health, and invites readers to write to Dr. Hartman in Columbus for free advice.
A terse dialogue between two men centers on a photograph described as a side show and then corrected to a profile. The exchange shows tones of sarcasm and insistence on precise wording.
We offer One Hundred dollars reward for a case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. Proposals from F. J. Cheney Co. Toledo. The undersigned endorse J. J. Cheney for past years and recommend them as trustworthy in business. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally and acts on the blood mucous surfaces. Price seven and a half cents per bottle. Sold by druggists. Testimonials free. Hall's Family Pills are the best.
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