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This newspaper page contains 23 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Aug 01, 1903
Page
6
An old advertisement touts Hood's Sarsaparilla as directly affecting the kidneys by toning and correcting them. It presents nervousness and poor sleep as linked issues, claiming the remedy strengthens vital organs and helps prevent serious trouble.
A fragment shows a bakery butcher exchange a quip about dough as a pun during a tense moment. Mr Cubbage converses with his ill wife while a visitor named Mrs Rickshaw is referenced as being downstairs. The scene mixes humor with a dying patient’s dialogue in a Boston Commercial Bulletin fragment.
A scanty haired philosopher warns against judging a wife by looks, while a very young man retorts that homeliest women often have the most money. The exchange underscores attitudes toward wealth and appearance in a humorous tone.
A fragment shows a sister urging Edgar to settle down and work with a will while his brother retorts that once the father dies he will work only if a document suits him, hinting at disputes over inheritance and duties.
Mrs Starvem and the star board discuss the new joarder's personality. One cites politeness while another likens him to sarcastic, noting a remark about whether she would take the cream. The Philadelphia Press record captures the exchange with a touch of humor.
A brief comic exchanges centers on a doctor prescribing medicines for dyspepsia the patient denies and the doctor insists the dyspepsia will arrive after taking other medicines. The sketch relies on wordplay and timing to deliver humor.
A Washington Times snippet quotes a bachelor girl entertaining a caller who jokes that if she were a woman she would show off her new frock, but since he is a man she will instead display the slippers that accompany it.
Readers are told Hall's Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure for catarrh, a constitutional disease. The ad claims internal action through the blood and mucous surfaces, building constitution, with a $1000 reward promise if it fails, and urges sending testimonials to F.J. Cheney & Co. in Toledo, Ohio.
A collage of smiles and quips from letters and stage chatter. Lines touch on marriage, jealousy, seduction, and mischief with brief exchanges and punchy humor. The piece threads through various voices and snippets to hint at social satire.
A broad survey of curiosities and discoveries covers egret farming in Tunis where plume profits drive interest, meteorology origins, peat wood for panels, life limits in geysers, Burbank’s white iceberg blackberries, Galway–New York voyage ideas, animal senses, and a New York Sun anecdote on a scheming boy selling papers.
A New Yorker recalls two nearly thirty year apart pocket picking by newsboys. The first incident involved an outside coat pocket and the second used a similar method with papers offered to lure the victim. The witness confronted the second youth with calm reproach and regret at being targeted as an easy mark.
A New York Times report highlights two surgical cases where brain operation altered criminal tendencies. A well born boy with brutal impulses had skull pressure relieved by removing skull tissue, becoming normal. A discharged soldier turned thief after an injury regained function and honesty after similar treatment.
Rat infestation aboard the U S transport Sherman in Manila led to sulfur fumigation at Mariveles. Within about an hour, thousands of rats jumped overboard or vanished as fumes spread. Post inspection found no rats aboard before resuming voyage. Other items note a London electric rail proposal and a quip about betting.
A letter from Mrs F Wright of Oelwein Iowa describes recovery from ovarian inflammation and nerve strain after using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. She reports rapid relief, urges others to try the remedy as a cheaper alternative to doctors, and includes a New York address for a sample.
An Englishwoman, newly arrived in Japan, ventures into tall grass and loses her way for four days. She endures heat, hunger, and exhaustion, fighting through dense vegetation, wading torrents, and a rainstorm before finding civilization with injured feet healed.
A Long Island village tale recounts an elderly woman urged into a car to reach her sick grandchild. After a courteous chauffeur offered help, the auto veered into a ditch near Hampton, prompting a witty retort about the accident. Another anecdote features a village postmaster joking about war and Shakespeare.
In Germany per capita iron consumption is 168 pounds and production is about double that amount, indicating a high output to meet domestic demand amid industrial activity. The figures suggest substantial steel and metal usage tied to manufacturing sectors and infrastructure projects.
Major T H Mara of the first Wisconsin cavalry reports relief from kidney catarrh after using Peruna. The letter touts Peruna as a remedy that reaches the disease’s root, improves kidney function, and prevents poison buildup, claiming lasting health after four months of use. Dr Hartman offers free advice for buyers across Columbus Ohio.
An anxious man admits he talks in his sleep. A prominent citizen, set to greet crowds along the train’s route, comments that such a revelation marks a valuable accomplishment.
Shake to Allens Foot Mase a powder that cures hot sweating aching swollen feet corns ingrowing nails and bunions It is sold at all druggists and shoe stores with free samples mailed to Allen 3 Olmsted Le Roy NY Do not accept substitutes
Witty exchange puns on Miss Elderly never marrying. He asks why she remained single and she quips that she was born in the wrong time of the moon, since there wasn’t any man in it.
The Court of Cassation, France’s highest court, ruled that frogs do not count as fish. The case about fishing privileges in certain streams traversed three courts before reaching the final determination.
A dialogue about wedding roles quotes a States man, noting that patience serves women well and that the maid of honor stands beside the bride while a man gives her away.
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