No, He’s the Conductor President of the Road Joke
A brief quip plays on roles in transit, contrasting a president of the road with a conductor. The exchange hinges on wordplay about leadership and control in a transit setting.
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Newspaper
Encampment Record
Location
Encampment, Wyoming, United States of America
Date
Apr 20, 1916
Page
7
A brief quip plays on roles in transit, contrasting a president of the road with a conductor. The exchange hinges on wordplay about leadership and control in a transit setting.
A Vatican priest reportedly invents clothes made from pressed feathers as an alternative to wool in a lighthearted note about international law and scholarly pursuits.
A farmer declines an offer of Knowitall's encyclopedia saying he must read forty seven volumes of agricultural reports sent by his congressman last winter before tackling anything else. The exchange is courteous and highlights a farmer's dedication to policy materials.
Hubby failed to find a matching piece of goods after visiting six stores. Wife admits she knew the dress was hopelessly out of style and wanted to prove it to him.
In Philadelphia Record prose, Kari Kellams, dying of tuberculosis, asked his wife to wear a black mourning dress and veil so he could see her as a mourner at his funeral. Mrs. Kellams complied, standing at his bedside in mourning while he faced illness after a return from Phoenix, Arizona seeking relief.
A physician praises Postum as a healthful substitute for coffee, noting its brown color and rich taste when prepared per directions. He and his family, including patients’ households with children, endorse the product, which comes in Postum Cereal and Instant Postum formats.
Francisco Villa's body was dug from a two week old grave by Carlos Carranza and escorting soldiers and moved toward Chihuahua City. Washington officials warned U S troops would withdraw from Mexico if Villa is confirmed dead. Reports detail new attacks on American troops at Parral with casualties.
German headquarters report French defense at Verdun brive fortress repelled a counterattack while Austro Russian combat continues on the Stripa and Dniester fronts in Galicia. Italian and Austrian forces launch offensives along the Italian front with Austrian troops claiming success at Marlivih amid heavy Italian losses. U S consular reports note two more ships carrying American citizens seized.
Read three women letters praising Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for female ailments. One Marinette Wisconsin writer faced medical pressure for a female procedure and credits improvement to the remedy. A Belle Prairie note mentions long term illness and doctors, claiming the product helped and prompting publication request.
A brief humorous exchange recalls a home burglary scare. A man asks what happened when burglars were found, his wife grabbed a rolling pin and crept through the hall, with him following. The punchline lands on safety as a joke about priorities.
A girl at the candy counter notes a husband’s change in buying habits from a three pound box twice weekly to half a pound monthly, implying a marriage is over. The cashier asks how she knows, highlighting a playful gossip moment.
Percival Claude meets a girl at a dance and they share a scene with papier mache palms, ice cream, and cake as he reveals he will not marry until he finds his opposite. The girl retorts that bright, intelligent women are everywhere. An acquittal is humorously linked to temporary insanity.
Advert says thousands of women with health issues can benefit from Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Prescription made from roots and herbs. It claims to aid womanly functions, irregularities, catarrhal conditions, and pain, urging immediate purchase in liquid or tablet form.
A fragment describes Anuric as a new remedy in chemistry claimed to relieve rheumatic joint pain and gout. It touts rapid disappearance of pains and stiffness with a small trial package priced at 10 cents and a larger pull treatment at 50 cents, available through all druggists.
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