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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
May 15, 1903
Page
9
A column of testimonials extols Doan's Pills and Doan's Kidney Pills for back pain bladder issues and nervous symptoms. Citizens from Ame s Mas Aspen Cox Co mix share relief from urinary trouble back pain and fatigue after sample trials and bottle use. The piece ends with a light joke about a child and a multiplying rabbit.
A dialogue contrasts a soggy bread and half cooked meats meal with a quip about divorce. The exchange jokes that courts won’t grant a divorce for bad cooking, highlighting a humorous dispute over food quality and legitimacy of separation.
The dialogue recalls Miss Mainchancel and her planned engagement to Mr Jenks, with a friend noting astonishment. A past remark about not marrying for ten thousand pounds is recalled, followed by the revelation that he had fifty thousand. The scene captures social bargaining and surprise within Cassell's Journal.
Barber tests a razor and asks if he hurts. Baird replies the last man in his chair was the dentist, prompting a wry Tid-Bits remark.
A New York Times item reports a Kansas man selling his wife for eight dollars and ponders if luck will ever bring a person who wastes money.
Ready for Easter. Deacon Dobbs-William, if your father should have $10 and someone should give him $5, what would he have? William-Nothing, but me would have a new hat. Chicago News. A chess tournament is always played on the square. It sometimes happens that the guy who Hesitates doesn't get lost.
A fragment from the Chicago Record-Herald praising Mrs Kazamms as cultured and polished. It notes her habit of calling any singing she hears rendering it, highlighting a remark on refinement and performance.
Northwestern inventors were granted patents including Charles Badger of Minneapolis for a switch operating mechanism Wilbur Hunt of Audubon for a portable sawmill Frederick Rees of Minneapolis for a wall for tanks storage bins or warehouses Ludvig Korab of Renville for apparatus for manufacturing flour August Princen of Minneola for an automatic blowpipe Samuel Singer of Great Falls for a suspender buckle Sothrop Johnson and Johnson patent lawyers located at 911 and 912 Pioneer Press Bldg St Paul Minnesota
A humorous exchange notes that Christian Science cured someone, with Podge confirming the healing came through Christian Science rather than appendicitis, in Brooklyn Life.
Des Moines Iowa notice announces Dr W O Coffee a noted oculist has discovered medicines for the eyes to use at home and cure granulated lids ulcers of blindness and restore sight He offers a free eye disease book to every reader detailing how to prevent old sight and strengthen weak eyes by mail request today.
Senator Hanna recounted a Lisbon-born tale shared by a group of senators. A white man and a black man ride together toward a jail where a gallows looms beyond a high stone wall. the white man asks where Jim would be if the gallows demanded its due, and Jim answers that he would be riding alone.
A playful Chicago Record-Herald quip about a duke urged to seek his father’s counsel as delays threaten a hazy get rich quick scheme, illustrating courtship and caution in a light, period voice.
A three year old visiting neighbor described a mysterious pump like Camerys that turns like a gasoline stove and makes water come out like a washing machine, returning home thrilled with curiosity and wonder.
A dialogue cites a doctor and a professor debating the enduring popularity of the song Dixie. The doctor questions its appeal as orchestras begin to play it and audiences applaud. The professor muses that perhaps people simply enjoyed the tune.
In Sunny Kansas a druggist’s clerk remarks on a limping Indian man wrestling with a problem. The druggist then leads him to the back room where he tries to figure out how to obtain a drink in a prohibition town and the issue is quickly and easily solved.
Finnicus asks why top achievers are unhappy and Cynnicus replies the peak resembles a high lightning rod with a sharp point, attracting the world's lightning. Those who perch briefly on it become targets of every storm.
A fragment reflecting on faith and knowledge, urging inner Christ as humanity’s hope rather than pulpit or press. The text contrasts conceit of knowledge with ignorance and centers personal belief as vital to society’s renewal.
A reflective piece warns against trading integrity for easy gains. It contrasts the virtue of steady, honest effort with reckless pursuit of profit. The message favors moral conduct over flashy success and cautions about compromising conscience for wealth.
A Washington Star column recalls a three year old Archie mistaking a railroad for a steamboat lodging for water and an anecdote about a Washington’s birthday masquerade. The Spanish inquisitor questions Louis XV jokingly about George Washington.
Festus Missouri May 4 a 76 year old man Mr January S Lilly testifies to kidney and bladder inflammation relief after five years of night pains and weakness. He says a few boxes of Dodd's Kidney Pills restored strength and enabled restful sleep and urges others with similar troubles to try the remedy.
An artist rebukes a friend who doubts that the new American girl can inspire art. The friend argues she must be unusual to be artistic, but the artist counters that she simply resembles a regular person and should still be seen as art.
Tess recalls his impudence as he tried to kiss her, and Jess questions why she did not flee. Tess explains the sofa was too small to move, while a judge comments on the awkward moment.
A quip from a judge recounts a physician’s drastic remedy for insomnia. The eminent practitioner laments no prescription easing sleep and proposes a heroic, never-failing cure: the patient should don a policeman’s uniform. The exchange underscores dark humor about authority and wakefulness.
A group of young women at a teachers convention in Oklahoma City learned about health benefits after a sister teacher praised Postum coffee substitute. She said quitting coffee improved her stomach and energy, and that eight attending teachers at her boarding house also felt better after switching to Postum.
The Grand Forks Herald editorial discusses whether trainmen should strike over double-heading pay. It explains the clash: trainmen seek double pay or cessation of double-heading, while the company argues administrative control and no double-heading except on mountains. It notes public interest in reliable service and warns that warlike strikes need adequate cause.
A prospective employer questions an applicant about habits including drinking gambling smoking sweating and tobacco. The applicant answers no to each, and the employer concludes they would feel uncomfortable with the coachman being better than himself and decides to seek another candidate. The quotation is attributed to the New York Times.
Sommerville Mass Journal notes Bronks praising Blackson for lifelong labor and raising a large family of sixteen children while acknowledging he cannot obtain credit at local stores.
A comical exchange questions temperance at home with the wife refusing beer and drink alike. The dialogue references a theatrical persona and hints at success and failure in stage life, labeled by a satirical caption from Lippincott's Magazine.
A cryptic doctor’s remarks advise a dangerous condition is advancing. The judge notes the illness worsens as the patient consumes fast food, signaling an advanced stage. The dialogue hints at humility and a warning about health and fate.
A cryptic note from Detroit Free Press hints at obstacles to training or travel. It mentions Alive-Yes and a cook potentially influencing plans, suggesting uncertain schedules and readiness for a journey or event. The fragment implies delays or conflicts affecting preparations.
A dated testimonial from Mrs. L. M. Griffith of Arco Idaho claims Peruna cured her barren ness and restored health enabling motherhood. The piece contrasts ancient biblical views on motherhood with modern American attitudes and extols Peruna as restoring strength and happiness to women who previously suffered catarrh and systemic weakness.
A stream of letters from mothers in Columbus and Alpha praise Peruna and Manalin as life saving. They recount healthy births including two 10 pound babies, renewed strength, and ability to perform housework. Several note dramatic weight gain and rapid recovery after long illnesses, urging others to try the remedies.
A suburban resident is teased about beauty of nearby buildings including a large college and an orphan asylum six blocks away. The visitor notes 600 girls and 400 boys at recess, highlighting suburban life and its social scenery.
A Brooklyn Life cartoon text notes a stage exchange where Sackson presents his Hamlet and an Old Stager questions authorship, remarking it differed from Shakespeare as the scene unfolds.
Jones confirms the selection calling it Snizzled sil vers in a playful note after the breakfast-food fortune story. Detroit Free Press reports the naming follows a lighthearted tradition around regional estates.
Do Your Feet Ache and Burn Shake into your shoes Allen's Foot powder for the feet It makes tight or new shoes feel easy Cures swollen hot sweating feet corns and bunions At all druggists and shoe stores 25c Sample sent free Address Allen S Olmsted LeRoy NY
After the limited flyer’s engineer loses nerve, the porter stays steady. The exchange highlights contrasting reactions as a tense moment unfolds aboard the train.
A customer letter from J. W. O'Union of Minneapolis Minnesota dated January 4 1900 extols Piso's Cure as an effective cough remedy noting high praise for its efficacy and recommending it to readers seeking relief for coughs and related symptoms.
A Baltimore American quip notes a farmer arguing that the joggrafses haven’t changed since “I got my schoollin.” If so, the big bays named Biscay and Bengal remain fitting, playful evidence of enduring horse nicknames.
A Detroit Free Press mention notes Dr J H Rindlaub of Fargo North Dakota as a specialist in eye ear nose and throat care. The comic aside suggests a personal anecdote about his affection for Alice and her mother being a factor.
A compact quotation notes that some men contend fiercely for truth's cast-off garments, causing truth herself to seem almost slain in the clash. The line underscores the zeal and danger of ideological battles where substance can be lost amid rhetoric.
A critic notes the actor appears miscast while a theatrical manager warns the plight may change only with better business. The Chicago News quotes both sides as the drama world waits for a turn in fortunes.
An old or imitation remedy claims to cure a cold in one day using Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. The ad states druggists refund money if it fails to cure and lists a price of 25a.
Yeast-Well reveals new development that he cannot yet control while Crimsonbeak-Gracious wonders if the change signals marriage or a purchase of an automobile. The snippet hints at a personal milestone with speculative tones.
Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally with a price of 75 cents. The advertisement promotes internal use for relief from catarrh and mentions a set price for the product.
A humorous London Tid Bits snippet contrasts halves of children with a quip on fairytale proportions. The ad promotes PUTNAM FACELESS DYES claiming quick dyeing and a vivid life, pairing light whimsy with a product pitch in a clipped period tone.
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