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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
May 15, 1903
Page
5
Letters from customers in Missouri and Mississippi praise Doan's Kidney Pills for back pain and urinary issues. Reported relief includes reduced headaches, sleep issues, and numbness, with claims of improved urination and energy after trials and full courses.
A humorous dialogue cites a court refusal to grant a divorce over bad cooking. Pike asks why, and the reply notes that the courts won’t grant a divorce for such a reason, illustrating social humor about domestic life.
In a Cassell's Journal dialogue, Miss Mainchance reveals to a friend that she agreed to marry Mr. Jenks for ten thousand pounds but later discovers he has fifty thousand. The exchange shows surprise and a shifting motive tied to wealth.
In a Tid Bits item Barber tests a razor on a reluctant client. The barbers chair banter turns to a joke about a previous dentist encounter as the barber savors a moment of amusement.
A brief ad for Mother Gray's Sweet Powders a nurse in New York promoting cure for feverishness stomach distress teething disorders and worms. It claims bowel relief and powders sold by all druggists for 25 cents sample available. Also notes a social quip from the New York Times about a Kansas man selling his wife for $8 and a reaction.
A brief cartoonish note questions a hypothetical Easter statistic about Deacon Dobbs-William and his father. The second line asserts a pun about a chess tournament always being played on the square.
A brief exchange from the Chicago Record-Herald quips about culture and refinement. The dialogue centers on Mrs Kazamms and a habit of labeling singing as renditions, highlighting a light moment in arts commentary.
List of patents issued to Northwestern inventors includes Charles Badger of Minneapolis for a switch operating mechanism Wilbur Hunt of Audubon for a portable sawmill Frederick Rees of Minneapolis for a wall for tanks storage bins or warehouses Ludvig Korab of Renville for apparatus for manufacturing flour August Princen of Minneola for an automatic blowpipe Samuel Singer of Great Falls for a suspender buckle. Patent lawyers are Lothrop and Johnson located at 911 and 912 Pioneer Press Building in St Paul.
In a Brooklyn Life column a back and forth exchange questions a claim that Christian Science cured an ailment. The dialogue references appendicitis and a healing claim as part of a humorous exchange.
Dr W O Coffee of Des Moines offers medicines for eye diseases and claims cures for cataracts and other conditions. He promotes a free book on eye diseases mailed to every reader and asserts simple steps to strengthen weak eyesight.
Senator Hanna cited a Lisbon tale during a group talk to fellow senators. The anecdote describes a black man and a white man riding past a jail where a gallows stands, with a quip about fate and doing right by Jim’s line.
A brief excerpt shows Georgie urged to seek his father as delays risk schemes. The duke concedes the danger of get rich quick plans after three days of acquaintance. The Chicago Record Herald tone hints at caution amid youthful ambition.
A three year old visiting neighbor’s home returns home excited claiming a pump like Camery’s makes water flow like a washing machine when turned as a gasoline stove. The child’s vivid comparison captures a humorous misunderstanding of a household device.
A Chicago Tribune passage notes the doctor and professor discussing why the tune Dixie is so popular. The doctor asks why audiences applaud any orchestra playing it, and the professor muses that perhaps people simply like the tune.
A humorous skit from a Sunny Kansas scene shows a druggist guiding a limping native American to the back room to obtain a drink, depicting a lighthearted resolution to a prohibition era dilemma.
In a reflective dialogue Finnicus-I asks why peak achievement brings little happiness. Cynnicus notes the peril of self glory on the top, and Cynicus argues true hope lies in Christ within people. The text laments conceit and warns against buying heaven with worldly profits.
A little girl tries arithmetic with her rabbit, reciting five times five six times six seven times seven while shaking the animal. Her mother interrupts and the child explains she is testing the idea that rabbits multiply rapidly, but the rabbit won’t cooperate.
A humorous vignette notes the Washington birthday masked ball in progress and a quip about George Washington. The exchange features an inquisitor asking where Washington is and Louis XV replying about cherry bounce in the buffet.
Lilly of Festus aged 76 reports chronic kidney and bladder inflammation with back and hip pain. He suffered nightly urination and fatigue for years until using Dodd's Kidney Pills, after which he regained strength, slept well, and fully recovered, urging others to try the remedy.
In a Washington Star cartoon dialogue a friend questions whether a new type of American girl can inspire art. The artist retorts that she resembles a typical human figure, implying she fails to be seen as artistic due to ordinary proportions.
In a courtroom exchange Tess recalls an incident where a man attempted to kiss her. She explains she could not escape due to the small size of their sofa, while the judge notes the impropriety of the act.
A quip from a judge notes a doctor considering an extreme remedy for insomnia. The eminent practitioner suggests the patient dress in a policeman's uniform, provoking a humorous reaction about curing sleep through disguise.
A group of young teachers at an Oklahoma City convention learned health benefits after renouncing coffee in favor of Postum. A sister teacher recalled stomach relief after quitting coffee and using Postum, noting improved health and renewed teaching.
The Great Northern trainmen vote on whether to strike over double-heading and pay for two engines. General Manager Ward argues the issue is administrative and not wage related while the public bears the burden of delays. The piece frames strike as war and warns against action without a strong cause.
A vintage Peruna advertising letter touts catarrh as a cause of barrenness and claims the tonic restored motherhood. Mrs. L. M. Griffith of Arco Idaho recounts being barren at 30 and says the medicine enabled her to have children, presenting a period-typical health claim from a grateful user.
A New York Times excerpt shows an interviewer testing an applicant on drinking gambling smoking swearing and other vices. The applicant repeatedly denies each vice and hints at preferring a coachman with better manners. The exchange ends with the interviewer deciding to try another candidate.
Letters from readers praise Peruna for dramatic health recoveries after childbirth and grippe. They describe rapid strength gains, a 10 pound baby, and ailing conditions improving after using Peruna and Manalia. Mrs Griffith and Mrs Thomas share personal testimonies to the medicine’s effectiveness and urge others to write for guidance.
A suburban resident remarks on nearby buildings including a big college and an orphan asylum. The visitor notes the hostel is six blocks away, but suburbia’s pleasures are tempered by the sight of 600 girls and 400 boys at recess.
A brief quip in Brooklyn Life contrasts Sackson Buskin’s performance with a line about Hamlet. An old stager jokes he had not recognized it as Shakespeare’s work, highlighting humorous theater banter.
A fragment from Detroit Free Press reports that Brown-Has Smith named his latest country seat Snizzled Sil vers, a playful title inspired by a breakfast product linked to his fortune.
Do Your Feet Ache and Burn Shake into your shoes Allen's Foot-Ease powder for the feet. It makes tight or new shoes feel easy. Cures swollen hot sweating feet corns and bunions. At all druggists and shoe stores 25c. Sample sent free Address Allen 8 Olmsted LeRoy NY.
Sommerville Massachusetts Journal notes Blackson, a man who has labored all his life and raised sixteen children, deserves significant credit though he cannot obtain it at stores.
A dialogue from Appincott's Magazine contrasts a couple debating drinks at home with a theater manager who prefers long term success. A jest about the actor facing failure accompanies reflections on wine and water.
A distressed mother asks a physician about a dangerous disease. The judge remarks the condition may be in an advanced stage after noting the patient’s intake of breakfast foods. The article reflects on humility and spiritual reach toward heaven.
Fragmentary OCR yields a partial Detroit Free Press item mentioning a possible obstacle and a clock note tied to a cook. Readable elements include names Clara and a fragmentary time cue. Further context missing limits full interpretation.
After a limited flyer, Boggs notes the engineer loses nerve while the Pullman porter remains steadier as events unfold. The remark contrasts crews under pressure in a transportation scene.
An advertisement letter from J. W. O'Bairn of 822 Third Ave BL Minneapolis dated January 4 1908 extols Piso's Cure for coughing as exceptionally effective, presenting a personal endorsement for the product.
Exchange resembles a rural debate over horse naming with a farmer defending traditional horse names. A visitor questions if the animals are horses, a Baltimore American quote echoes the vernacular and humor of country life.
Outlined gossip mirrors a Detroit Free Press item about a man who loved Alice and wished to marry her but her mother blocked the match. The text focuses on social constraint and maternal interference in a domestic romance.
A fragment reflects on men fighting for truth and its garments, suggesting truth herself is nearly slain by their anxious struggle. The lines imply a moral struggle where honesty is endangered by zeal.
A theater manager warns the actor may lose his role unless business improves soon, in a Chicago News piece reflecting on current theatrical morale and talent fit.
A fragment mentions Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets with a druggist refund promise if they fail to cure. The text then shifts to playful lines about Yeast-Well and Crimsonbeak-Gracious, joking about control, a new purchase, or marriage. Specific details are unclear.
An assorted clippings page mocks sales pitches and humor lines. It includes Hall's Catarrh Cure priced at 75c, a Smart Aleck tyle exchange about halves of children, and an ad for PUTNAM FACELESS DYES promising quick dyeing.
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