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This newspaper page contains 7 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Elyria Reporter
Location
Elyria, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Aug 15, 1900
Page
6
A collage of quips and gags from newspapers across the era. Jests touch on vacations, costs, odd payments, and legal banter. Short exchanges show everyday humor in domestic and professional life with playful misunderstandings and sharp one liners.
A poet clings to a worn watch as a habit and contemplates its end. After a unexpected approach by two men seeking a thief, the poet realizes his watch is gone to a pickpocket. The chase fades, leaving him amused and reflective on the mislaid timepiece and its fate.
The page lists Lorain County Banking Co details and executives, travel rail excursion promos by Nickel Plate Road and Lake Shore by, and sales pitches for Boschee’s German Syrup and Green’s August Flower. It notes agent contacts, promotions for Niagara Falls trips, and myriad dated travel deals and medical elixirs.
The Stangard Oil Company organized in 1876 with capital of 9,000,000 just distributed a quarterly dividend of 28,000,000 in cash and script. Nine months profits for the current year are projected well above 80,000,000 with earlier dividends of 10,000,000 and 48,000,000. The text compares US government income in 1798 and civic age, noting Standard Oil profits exceed the government’s past gross income by more than twice its age.
Advertisements under this hand must be paid in advance. Twenty five cents for three lines for three days or one week. Inquiries and notices list rooms for rent, animals, and miscellaneous items with prices and contact points. Includes travel offer to Niagara Falls and Alexandria Bay with details in a separate column.
A readable ad listing several property bargains. It mentions Sara acres just outside the corporation south, Saur-tl¢ acres near a new round House, and Yor Renr nice room house all modern improvements at Park Place Court priced at $16.
Elyria Ohio announces bids for replacing and connecting water mains between Ninth Street and Broad Street. Work includes removing old mains, connecting hydrants, setting valves, and renewing services to new mains. Bids must be accompanied by a 300 dollar bond and a performance contract within five days of award.
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