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This newspaper page contains 32 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Oct 20, 1910
Page
7
In a South Wales bank panic a desperate manager has a clerk heat sovereigns to pass as genuine coin. Farmers seize hot money, thinking it fresh from the mold, restoring confidence and averting a run. The tale ends with a Victorian moral on duty and pleasure.
A poetical verse contrasts a man’s dream of eternal closeness with a woman to the mundane details of his life. He speaks of a railroad pride, yet the woman focuses on the shop where her father works. The piece uses playful word twists to hint at affection and social norms.
A humorous exchange on a woman who trims her own hats and is deemed homely. The speaker notes that self trimming would prevent marriage for someone not painfully plain, ending with the line Alas you have guessed it.
Two waiters joke about a stingy customer who never tips. The thinner patron is teased as so mean he would not tip even the scales. The banter captures a light moment in a dining room setting.
A tall man rushed into a soda counter and bought ten cents worth of acid to test wedding presents for a silver nuptial at his house. The crowd gasped and labeled him the meanest man in town for the stunt.
A customer compliments a barber on his tipping, and the barber jokes about hair growth. The exchange reveals a light banter about earnings and a misread accusation of a bald spot. The barber asserts the hair is merely thinning.
A Yonkers man recounts a brief encounter with a book agent while in his car. He states the agent spoke, but did not affect him, noting his windshield was up during the conversation.
A summer boarder and an old farmer exchange flirtatious banter as they pick daisies and joke about using potato bugs in a game. The playful dialogue highlights rural humor and domestic life in a quiet countryside setting.
A mother of many children boasted about her newest infant to every caller. Her pastor, visiting as usual, politely asked if he had seen the latest arrival, and she asked him to confirm. He replied with a cautious reply, avoiding embarrassment.
A buyer accuses the seller of swindling after eight days of business, claiming he was told the shop ran like clockwork. The faker dismisses the claim and offers a cigar and a patented churn that allegedly turns butter by two cents a pound.
Mrs Wise warns about a storm as she sends Mr Wise to the lodge. He replies he will wait up for her return and plans to take his storm coat.
Farmer Countessel notes a speaker begins by detailing the nation’s needs and suspects the speaker pushes his own line. The exchange highlights skepticism toward self serving or narrow expertise.
In a rush lunch room a state patron asks about the dish. A polite waiter insists it is hamburg steak, while the patron quips the portion looks like a hum bug steak.
Five year old Tommy points at a statue of Venus in an art gallery and asks about an armless woman. His mother explains she is an ancient goddess, prompting the boy to wonder if automobiles existed in those days.
A humorous scene features a man with a three day beard rejecting a shave and ordering a charlotte russe while a frazzled physiognomical artist asks if shaving is desired. The odd exchange captures a playful caricature of kitchen psychology and pastry cravings.
In a domestic exchange, Mrs X invites Mrs Y to move into an unoccupied flat above, while Mrs Y pleads friendship and avoids quarrel, expressing reluctance to start a dispute. The exchange reveals neighborly tension and interests in shared space.
A fragmented OCR item hints at a health or advice column discussing feelings and motivation with a metaphor about a colt and a jolt. The readable lines suggest exploring self awareness and the mind’s readiness to act. No clear persons or organizations are named in the readable text.
From Pittsburg, Too. Kitty notes a local financier, nicknamed the old lobster, spends lavishly. Bella Wings counters that he is no lobster but a full fledged gold fish in public view.
A Yonkers Statesman quote captures a back and forth about comfort and risk. A woman advises lifting a hammock while a man resists, joking that falling further could only happen in an airplane. The exchange reflects light commentary amid daily life.
A comic exchange centers on a jeweler in New York and a young woman described as a jewel. Johnson notes he cannot furnish the setting, prompting Morrison to ask why not marry her.
A satirical quip contrasts college president Finley with a common man as the era critiques leadership and ambition. The line echoes a civic tone about job fitness and power while mentioning Oyster Bay.
A witty remark praises a waiter who can sell the menu with appetite. The speaker notes the man was not always a waiter, once serving as a press agent for a circus.
Mark Twain began his Buffalo Express tenure in August 1869 pledging frank duty. He vowed to tell the truth when convenient, rebuke crime, avoid slang, and steer clear of politics unless his political editor fails, and to write poetry only if he bears a grudge against subscribers.
An advertisement asserts kidney issues show by frequent or scanty urination and discolored urine. J F Haynie of Forest Grove Oregon credits Doan's Kidney Pills with saving his life after severe illness and blood in urine. The ad urges buying Doan's at 50 cents a box from Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY.
Senator Depew on the Lusitania deck discusses London English. A Bloomsbury lodging anecdote shows how a landlady frames the apparent mispronunciations and the kettle joke highlights regional speech differences in a humorous exchange.
A two month old baby suffered full body eczema with thick head scab and raw skin. After trying several doctors remedies, Cuticura Ointment Soap and Resolvent plus four drops daily improved skin within three days. Mrs Joseph Kossmann of Ridgewood Heights New York reports a full recovery by four months old. The note ends with a quote about decisive minds influencing others.
Senator Clapp recalled a joke about careless building at a Minneapolis dinner. A speaker claimed a St Paul resident is killed in street accidents every 48 hours, provoking a sharp quip from the audience.
Roy Bone, brother of U S District Attorney Harry Bone, once covered a Wichita fire where a firefighter died after being thrown from a hose cart. Bone wrote a dramatic headline Gone to His Last Fire and was fired after publication, per the Kansas City Journal.
Mothers urged to inspect every Castoria bottle for the signature of its long trusted maker. The advertisement touts Castoria as a safe remedy for infants and children and notes it has been in use for over 300 years.
A humor note depicts a narrator frustrated by a woman described as habitually interfering. He complains about her cooking lessons and insistence on tasting gasoline for a failing automobile, highlighting domestic friction and comic miscommunication.
Advertisement proclaims Pettit's Eye Salve as a 100 year old cure for eye diseases. It credits Howard Bros. druggists of Buffalo New York and features a period marketing slogan attributed to Horatio Stebbens urging trust in a new yet timeless principle.
Eye, ear, nose and throat specialist Dr J H Rindlaub of Fargo invites readers to consider compassion as a measure of worth, quoting John Bright in a brief publisher’s note.
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