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Newspaper
Choteau Acantha
Location
Choteau, Montana, United States of America
Date
Nov 24, 1910
Page
2
A collage of quips and oddities mentions a local inn notables, mixed with absurdities about weather, aeroplanes, lunatic asylums, and a New Jersey cow wrecking an aeroplane. It notes a six inch nose amputation by Cincinnati surgeons and tunnel travel under the Alps. It mocks authority and public confusion about truth.
The piece riffs on sprinkling carts racing before storms and awkward sports umpiring, with asides on English phrases and American marital stereotypes. It notes how a revolver is not carried for good, and jokes about the weather man signaling heavy rain with partly cloudy forecasts.
A Wyoming girl killed a coyote by beating it with a riding whip. If you meet her, be polite. New York reportedly chews more gum than any other city and people say the city can chew and talk at once.
A reader proposes the United States coin half pennies for children’s banks and notes reading about football rules. The writer joyfully concludes that football remains the antithesis of a pink tea.
A New Jersey rag picker found 1800 worth of jewelry hidden in old clothes after a week of sorting. The discovery prompts a warning to sift and inspect clothing before disposal to avoid losing valuables.
A Pennsylvania woman found a $200 pearl in an oyster during a hotel dinner. The discovery suggests a strong start to the pearl fishery season.
A woman stands accused of taking and pawning her neighbor’s dental prosthetics. Police report the theft occurred in a quiet neighborhood, with the crimes allegedly carried out over several weeks.
On the hottest day New York authorities received bids for snow removal. Citizens wished snow would stay if a vote could be held, expressing unanimous approval for delaying any thaw during the sweltering spell.
The article notes a 1000 mile barb wire barrier planned along the U S southern border and adds that a reputable female smuggler would find it harder to bypass than a pier crowded with custom house inspectors.
A New York woman cut off her husband’s ear after he annoyed her by talking too much. The incident highlights a flare of improvised justice and gendered reactions, suggesting a male equivalent would have targeted the tongue.
The government holds 5,000,000 stamps at ten cents each with attached cards costing ten cents. When a card has nine stamps affixed it represents a deposit of one dollar, encouraging small savings and potentially large aggregate deposits.
In Old Weston near Huntingdonshire England a church honoring St Swithin is strewn with new mown hay on the Sunday closest to the saint's day. The tradition recalls an old woman who gave a poor man a field for charity and required hay for the church floor to curb squeaking boots during feast Sunday.
A traditional Italian proverb notes that those who cannot do a task are always ready to offer their willingness. It echoes a folk wisdom on effort and limitation.
James MacDowell, an American prospector, killed his wife after their perilous trek to Castle Mountain BC. Crushed by a mule accident and left to die, she begged for mercy. after 36 hours of hopeless choice he shot her and later surrendered in Calgary. The coroner exonerated him.
An essay contemplates when self defense and mercy justify killing. It praises James MacDowell for acting from love though legal forms forbid it. It also questions disposing of deformed or doomed newborns, suggesting humane ends to avoid torture.
A mother with kidney disease pleads for relief from agony and asks her daughter to end her life with morphine. The daughter complies believing she shortens suffering by days while the writer notes doubts about practical execution and references Dr Crippen as a possible scenario.
James McDowell writes of killing his wife Fanny after witnessing her unbearable suffering in a remote frontier area near Calgary. He describes the long struggle, the temptation to end her pain, and the eventual mercy killing before turning himself in. The coroner's jury exonerated him though he cannot forget.
Miss Susan Myers on a New England farm hires Johnny Briggs to prove a fast and capable helper. He brings back a spool of cotton then berries within an hour, impressing her with Napoleonic drive and rapid tasks. She orders him to sit and prove steadiness while she finishes dinner.
The article traces the evolution of razors from ancient Egypt to Polynesian tribes, noting early edge tools made of flint shell and sharks’ teeth. It mentions Levitical restrictions on shaving and Roman use of Egyptian style razors, illustrating practical invention driven by necessity.
Mrs Mary BS Wilkins Freeman at a Metuchen dinner mocked a critic by comparing him to a man on a train who admires a landscape defaced by ads then denies agreeing with a sign ban. The punchline reveals the critic’s taste is whisky and poison rather than aesthetics.
A 1909 testimonial from George W. Atchley of Des Moines Iowa praises Dr Kilmer Swamp Root for kidney bladder and back trouble. Notary A R Hansen confirms Atchley’s signed statement and sales of Swamp Root. The ad urges readers to request a sample bottle and booklet from Kilmer Co Binghamton NY.
Farmer Hodge hosts a harvest time feast with Giles, the eldest hand, invited to the seat of honor by the hostess. Giles declines politely preferring to sit opposite this pudd en, a moment of quiet humor amid a traditional scene.
At the Red Home inn in Stratford on Avon two visitors saw a print labeled The House in Which Shakespeare Was Born and doubted its accuracy, joking that Shakespeare was born in a manger as a waiter confirmed the inscription.
Lloyd C. Griscom, in a New York interview, condemns party dissensions as animated by a nasty tit-for-tat spirit. He compares the behavior to a seaside dance scene where an engaged couple quibble over a kiss, illustrating the petty jealousy and deteriorating tone he sees in political currents.
In a light exchange Miss Passay mentions liking a boarding house but rejects a folding bed as unsuitable. Miss Pert adds a quip about finding a man under a folding bed, reflecting a playful tone from the Catholic Standard and Times.
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