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This newspaper page contains 31 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Carey Times
Location
Carey, Ohio, United States of America
Date
Nov 05, 1908
Page
8
A collection of witty observations on human behavior and politics. The quips contrast sunrise routines, anger, foolishness, bedfellows in politics, executioners for fools, personal focus, hot heads, modesty, talkative fools, envy of the wicked, and presidential campaign outcomes.
A humorous verse contrasts the allure of currency with imagery of landscapes and art. It declares the two dollar bill more attractive than single notes and dreams of higher denominations. A closing joke puns on family origins and a back passage money line.
A rural fable tone blends with market panic as a lamb inspired figure pursues a violent outcome amid a downturn. The verses mix nursery imagery with dark hints of danger and revenge.
A courteous exchanges shows a friendly, forgetful woman asking a boy for his name. The boy replies with a consistent answer that hints at his habit of recalling his identity from day to day.
A reflective note expresses happiness from a settled life as middle aged and staid. The speaker claims relief as coal bills are paid and worries ease, portraying a simple, contented moment.
A brief dialogue contrasts recalling a musical piece before many rulers with the remark that it is risky to perform for sovereigns due to their standing armies. The exchange hints at prestige and power influencing performance.
A poetic verse warns of ruin from reckless spending. It laments those who fall to loan sharks as debts tighten like a choking wind. The note is held by a ruthless lender, signaling hardship ahead.
Dialogue captures wartime tension as a character dismisses Japanese aggression while asserting resolve and willingness to act. The exchange underscores confidence in national defense and readiness to counter any threat.
A Commercial Poultry writer argues farmers misjudge fowls by tradition. Pure breeds outperform common birds in eggs, maturity, and temperament. Starting with pure breeds costs little and yields a thrifty, productive flock within a year.
The silo should be filled with corn at peak feeding value, not with very green forage. Wait until ears are hard and dented with partially dried husks, then pack the silage well, adding a little water if needed to improve packing.
Professor Hornbury of Wisconsin Agricultural College argues that combining advertising with intelligence and enterprise elevates farming. He advocates christening the farm, branding stock and produce, and marketing under both the farm and proprietor names to attract patronage and build lasting customers.
The Kansas Experiment Station Bulletin urges strict measures to keep hog cholera from spreading. Do not allow stray dogs near hog lots, feed hogs in covered closures to limit bird infection, and disinfect shoes with germicidal solutions before entering premises. Do not let hogs access streams fed by other farms, quarantine new hogs for two to three weeks, and ensure ample ventilation around hog houses and feeding areas.
A small parasite from Japan attacks gypsy moth caterpillars by laying eggs on them. Larvae burrow into hosts, killing them and spreading to others. The parasite appears established here and may reduce gypsy moth numbers next season. In Japan the parasite helps control the moths, suggesting similar results here.
Beekeeping boosts farm yields by aiding pollination. Farmers should keep hives for honey and to increase fruit and alfalfa seed yields. Small, practical steps can improve farm life and profitability.
The season for selecting seed corn is at hand and careful selection increases both quality and quantity. Like livestock, corn can be bred to type. choose well matured ears of the desired type and store in a warm dry place for best results.
A hen laying about 200 eggs yearly pays her keep and yields profit for the owner. She sits in the same class as a cow that produces fifteen pounds of butter every two weeks.
A jumble of reports covers embezzlement in Columbus, robberies in Lexington and Chicago, a fatal run away near Coshocton, a streetcar collision in Kansas City, a Papa Moody memorial, cholera in Manila, bombs and lynchings, and multiple fire and accident stories across Ohio and beyond. Names include William Montgomery, C BE Davidson, Dwight Moody, Paul Levide, Alex Kokifo, Jennie Dempsey, and J J Mann.
A preacher begins with a Bible opening phrase and vows to preach from any text. A sleepy deacon misreads the moment and shouts its yours. The joke lands when the preacher reveals the book is opened on Kings.
Poem excerpt urging resilience in the face of trouble and defeat. It stresses that the measure of a person is not the severity of the blow but how they respond, how they rise after being knocked down, and how they face death with courage. The speaker dismisses harsh criticism and emphasizes inner resolve.
A quip from a deathwatch tale contrasts a condemned man seeking exercise with a rope. A Halifax weaver plans marriage but confuses band notices. the clergyman clarifies there will be no bands, only a concert after tea.
An old German woman is hospitalized after illness while her husband hears repeated reports of “improving” for days. On day five he learns she has died, and at the saloon he explains the death was “in improvements,” the bartender asking what she died of.
A terse police line of dialogue questions John about visiting a friend last night. He confirms the visit and that the friend was very ill. The exchange hints at possible gambling ties with the phrase he never won and pot.
A congressman is asked for a recipe for good oratory after a brilliant speech. He jokes that oratory comes naturally, cites Jacob Walmsley as a not very satisfactory recipe, and deadpans about opening the mouth wider and drinking water if speech falters.
A compact philosophical reflection contrasts beasts and humans. Southey argues that nonhuman creatures follow nature’s laws with perfect instinct while man misuses his higher faculty and errs by defying God’s purposes.
A humorous exchange recalls a famous billiard player noting chalk thefts in his early room days. He tells his helper to watch the chalk closely, joking he is no millionaire, as the exchange pivots on a playful mischief story from the game world.
Jim used his diplomacy to confront a loyal patron who had just taken chalk. He quips that the man is in the milk business and offers a bucket of water if he wants no trouble, reflecting a humorous tense exchange at the vendor.
The secret of success in caring for goldfish is to keep the water fresh and sweet. Empty and renew the water every second day, lift each fish in a glassful of water, wash the globe, add fresh water, and return the fish. Use clear rainwater at 75 to 80 degrees, avoid cold sparking well water, and feed only a few bread crumbs daily.
J M Barrie once agreed to preside at a Burns celebration in Scotland and stayed silent throughout. A humorous piece in the National Observer titled Mr Barrie In the Chair mocked his social tact, drawing protests from many readers who believed the satire too harsh. The twist emerged that Barrie authored the piece himself.
The piece traces ledger origin to ligger a large desk book used in churches and accounts. It notes coucher as an early synonym and contrasts with portable por tas and book bosom priest. It explains ledger emerged as a term for such large account volumes.
J A Smith advertises weekly farm for sale lists after visiting Warren Ohio. Prices run from 15 to 125 dollars per acre with loans up to 100 000 at low rates and long terms. Properties include an 87 acre farm near Carey with brick house and large barn, a 120 acre farm with improvements, and 40 acre tracts well tiled with no buildings 24 miles from town.
An old advertisement claims sickness stems from a weak nervous system and promotes Dr Miles Nervine as a remedy. A testimonial from John James of Riverton Nebraska praises rapid improvement and urges readers to try the product with refund for the first bottle. The Miles Medical Co. based in Elkhart Indiana is named as the producer and distributor.
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